latley i had been going to bed latley fairly early. I was pretty physically bored or fatigued, but mentally my mind had been craving to be satisfied, ive been having weird dreams again the other night i dreamed i was around a cave of sorts or a mountain and some old elementeray school classmate and others were trying to tell me how to time travel....
so tonite i got bored with that and wanted to stay up and read some 1971 national geographic. then as i lay on the couch it seemed that focusing on the words and breathing was a chore, it irritated me and scared me some (because ive encountered this shit before). I first tried just kinda holdin my breath and tensin my abs wich lowerd my heart rate considerably while i did that. but then after i finished that, the innability to concentrate and innability to breath without effort was soon an immediate chore again. Then i rememberd to say a hindu chant for whenever i felt in danger, it seemed to work. I beleived it would work because i remember the care an old friend gave to me when he wrote me the chant on a peice of paper and told me to never forget it.
and before any disbelievers go on about how mantras are bullshit...well there is a very real science of sound schematics
like even now at night when im fatigued my body forgets to breath it wants to be asleep but my mind is wanting to look at shit on the net