Intense suicide note from Bill Zeller, noted programmer

[johnnynoname]

look, i have no interest in turning this thread into a back and forth war of words that lasts 20 pages

you can have your opinion and I can have mine..Neither of us are "right" and neither of us is "wrong"

so, i'm done


enjoy defending a selfish jerk

[YngiweRhoads]

look, i have no interest in turning this thread into a back and forth war of words that lasts 20 pages

you can have your opinion and I can have mine..Neither of us are "right" and neither of us is "wrong"

so, i'm done


enjoy defending a selfish jerk

It's not opinion. You're uneducated on mental illness and ptsd.

Learn something ---> http://www.google.com/

[#1 Klaus fan]

suicide is probably one of the more deplorable things a person can do

People who kill themselves just die and don't have to live with the consequences of the hurt and pain they leave with their parents, friends and other family


so to all of you people who are feeling sympathetic to this guy, you all can seriously take a fucking shit

this bill dude is dead and most likely his family loved him and now they have to live with the burden of this guy killing himself




ps....burn in hell bill and fuck off

Fuck you!

[Fatpanda]

i still stand by the fact that suicide is extremely selfish, a quitter's way out and hurts the people around the deceased the most.


btw- you don't know jack shit about what terrible things that have happened in my life and i'm not gonna post any of that shit here just for the sake of you guys feeling sorry for me.  ive been a victim and ive been exploited

ps fuck off

actually your posts scream 'i've been abused'.

you entire persona in fact.

its sad that you can not see the pain this person was in when you yourself suffer the same way, albeit you have managed to control it by convincing yourself sucking cock is somehow natural.

[johnnynoname]

i'm gonna close with this

how many of you had to console a mother who just lost her son by hanging himself at his job ?  I have
how many of you have seen a strong father break down in tears and cry like a baby and then go from a healthy 200 plus pounds to a weak frail man in a matter of mere months because he couldn't understand why his son killed himself? I have
this same man that I knew not only destroyed his mother and father's life but his sister hasn't been the same

so please, until you have been where I've been and seen how suicide has ruined a other wise perfect family please refrain from pretending to know better

the day my friend Lee killed himself was also the day he killed three other people

yeah, lee was real brave  

[chaos]

Fuck you!!!

[YngiweRhoads]

i'm gonna close with this

how many of you had to console a mother who just lost her son by hanging himself at his job ?  I have
how many of you have seen a strong father break down in tears and cry like a baby and then go from a healthy 200 plus pounds to a weak frail man in a matter of mere months because he couldn't understand why his son killed himself? I have
this same man that I knew not only destroyed his mother and father's life but his sister hasn't been the same

so please, until you have been where I've been and seen how suicide has ruined a other wise perfect family please refrain from pretending to know better

the day my friend Lee killed himself was also the day he killed three other people

yeah, lee was real brave  

Wife did it in the room beside me while I slept.

[subseven]

this bill dude is dead and most likely his family loved him and now they have to live with the burden of this guy killing himself

So you're saying that his family unjustly suffered as a result of his suicide?
Are you fuckin serious Bro?
If the family did actually kick him out at that age as a result of not going to church, do you still think this whole thing is unjust?
Besides, do you think people should value their family's and friends' happiness and well being above their own? So what if the guy's loved ones suffer? Those loved ones should grow some fuckin balls and deal with it -just as you propose this guy should have dealt with it.
But no, that logic doesn't work. We can reasonably expect this guy to put up with the pain off being raped as a kid for who-knows how long, but we cannot expect his family and loved ones to deal with the pain of his death.

What a logic.....

[disco_stu]

actually your posts scream 'i've been abused'.

you entire persona in fact.

its sad that you can not see the pain this person was in when you yourself suffer the same way, albeit you have managed to control it by convincing yourself sucking cock is somehow natural.

QFD.

the pain for this guy was obviously unbearable and he saw no way out, even after trying for years.

i think any of us wouldnt hesitate to euthanise an obviously dying person in incredible pain.

hell we do it for dogs for gods sake!

one thing is for sure, steroids mess up your emotions. maybe thats why so many here just dont get it.

[#1 Klaus fan]

I think this bitching that Salvatore and some others are doing here is just the basic animal instinct of attacking and getting rid of the 'weak', kicking them while they are down. There is no other explonation for the moralising. How many here remember to point out how many lives killers ruin? Yeah, not many. There you go.

[Fatpanda]

i'm gonna close with this

how many of you had to console a mother who just lost her son by hanging himself at his job ?  I have
how many of you have seen a strong father break down in tears and cry like a baby and then go from a healthy 200 plus pounds to a weak frail man in a matter of mere months because he couldn't understand why his son killed himself? I have
this same man that I knew not only destroyed his mother and father's life but his sister hasn't been the same

so please, until you have been where I've been and seen how suicide has ruined a other wise perfect family please refrain from pretending to know better

the day my friend Lee killed himself was also the day he killed three other people

yeah, lee was real brave  

bad parenting.

[disco_stu]

i know of people that you couldnt question their undying love for their family, kids and friends, yet for some reason- not from trauma or anything else, just could not shake depression.

they love their loved ones as much as any other person does.

yet they feel that their torment is so great that they are better off dead, for themselves, and for the ones they love.

they know the hurt theyll create, but also believe that it is outweighed by removing themselves from the situation.

who wants to grow up watching their father forever sad?- crying?, in despair?...no kids i know.

and who wants to have to care for smoeone like that?- sure you can try, but itll take your life also.

thats why it takes guts to do it. you do it because you cant deal with the tug of war these competing logics create.

this is why suicide is studied in depth in psych classes and debated by the great philosophers.

besides, if you are but one tiny speck in a galaxy, in one of an infinite number of universes, what does it matter?, really?...does it even matter?

does it even matter what anyone thinks?

[chaos]

LOL @ the deep and emotional thinkers of getbig.

[Fatpanda]

exactly stu.

being a buddhist i have given death a great deal of thought.

there are larger things at play than simply life and death,

[skillz]

So you're saying that his family unjustly suffered as a result of his suicide?
Are you fuckin serious Bro?
If the family did actually kick him out at that age as a result of not going to church, do you still think this whole thing is unjust?
Besides, do you think people should value their family's and friends' happiness and well being above their own? So what if the guy's loved ones suffer? Those loved ones should grow some fuckin balls and deal with it -just as you propose this guy should have dealt with it.
But no, that logic doesn't work. We can reasonably expect this guy to put up with the pain off being raped as a kid for who-knows how long, but we cannot expect his family and loved ones to deal with the pain of his death.

What a logic.....

QFT

[Parker]

So you're saying that his family unjustly suffered as a result of his suicide?
Are you fuckin serious Bro?
If the family did actually kick him out at that age as a result of not going to church, do you still think this whole thing is unjust?
Besides, do you think people should value their family's and friends' happiness and well being above their own? So what if the guy's loved ones suffer? Those loved ones should grow some fuckin balls and deal with it -just as you propose this guy should have dealt with it.
But no, that logic doesn't work. We can reasonably expect this guy to put up with the pain off being raped as a kid for who-knows how long, but we cannot expect his family and loved ones to deal with the pain of his death.

What a logic.....

Whatever family he had or friends who cared for him-- suffered...Notonly that, but he left a "imprint" on their lives, that can never be erased. I have been involved with a woman who was raped, and tried to take herself out twice---one time with her friends in the car. Another woman I was involved with would send pics of her doing stuff. That was scream for attention or help, which ever you see it as.

Fact is, any people who consider suicide only think about their issues, and their problems, and don't think about how they impact others lives. And let's face it, most in the US who commit suicide have never really lived thru some real shit, there are people who are living thru worse horrors and manage to stick it out. Many of these people are not so privleged to live in the USA.  Even if it is the size of a mustard seed, there is still hope, and when people give up hope, they have giving up on themselves.

Did this man seek help? Go to a therapist? You have people such as Tyler Perry, Mo'Nique, and Oprah who were raped as youths, and look at them.

[#1 Klaus fan]

Whatever family he had or friends who cared for him-- suffered...Notonly that, but he left a "imprint" on their lives, that can never be erased. I have been involved with a woman who was raped, and tried to take herself out twice---one time with her friends in the car. Another woman I was involved with would send pics of her doing stuff. That was scream for attention or help, which ever you see it as.

Fact is, any people who consider suicide only think about their issues, and their problems, and don't think about how they impact others lives. And let's face it, most in the US who commit suicide have never really lived thru some real shit, there are people who are living thru worse horrors and manage to stick it out. Many of these people are not so privleged to live in the USA.  Even if it is the size of a mustard seed, there is still hope, and when people give up hope, they have giving up on themselves.

Did this man seek help? Go to a therapist? You have people such as Tyler Perry, Mo'Nique, and Oprah who were raped as youths, and look at them.

America is the world leader in the numbers of convicts and homeless people*. 

*In developed countries.

[Parker]

America is the world leader in the numbers of convicts and homeless people*. 

*In developed countries.

And many homeless people choose to be homeless, and many convicts prefer to be locked up--three hots and cot, and they get to lift weights

And where in the world could a homeles man with a radio voice, all of sudden get a job, and a offer from a NBA team---and possibly making more than he ever has made in his life---only in America

My point is that, many people in some third world  coutries have gone thru strife, famine, war, rape, butchering, yet they stick it out...there is a old Southern saying, that is slowly being eroded today, it's related to what Salvatore had said before..."A black man will kill another person, before killing himself.", due to more assimilation, this has been slowly eroded. Not to make this a race issue, but when you have been some ish, and your culture tells you to hold on no matter what, and that you'll see the light---there are less suicides

[JOHN MATRIX]

Fact is, any people who consider suicide only think about their issues, and their problems, and don't think about how they impact others lives. And let's face it, most in the US who commit suicide have never really lived thru some real shit, there are people who are living thru worse horrors and manage to stick it out.

bullshit. in fact, he even addressed this in his note here:

"People say suicide is selfish. I think it's selfish to ask people to continue living painful and miserable lives, just so you possibly won't feel sad for a week or two. Suicide may be a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but it's also a permanent solution to a ~23 year-old problem that grows more intense and overwhelming every day"

bottom line is, those who have never been in a similar place mentally simply cannot understand these things (and thankfully so for them) and therefore can only sit back and bash the person who off'ed themselves.

[benchmstr]

a guy i worked with found out he had terminal cancer.....called his insurance company, and asked if suicide voided his life insurance...they said no....he killed himself so his wife, and kids didn't have to see him suffer, pay his medical bills, and would get a huge ass pay day off his life insurance...

where he fucked up....

1)he should have got a second opinion..the cancer he had was easily treatable..
2)the cancer that he did have was from being in the navy...his wife got $3million off of that lawsuite..the policy only paid around $75-$100grand
3)his 12 year old son was the one who found him with his cherry pie looking head scattered all over the bedroom wall..

nobody ever gave this guy credit for being smart.....moral of the story? don't be a dumbass...

bench

[JOHN MATRIX]

a guy i worked with found out he had terminal cancer.....called his insurance company, and asked if suicide voided his life insurance...they said no....he killed himself so his wife, and kids didn't have to see him suffer, pay his medical bills, and would get a huge ass pay day off his life insurance...

where he fucked up....

1)he should have got a second opinion..the cancer he had was easily treatable..
2)the cancer that he did have was from being in the navy...his wife got $3million off of that lawsuite..the policy only paid around $75-$100grand
3)his 12 year old son was the one who found him with his cherry pie looking head scattered all over the bedroom wall..

nobody ever gave this guy credit for being smart.....moral of the story? don't be a dumbass...

bench

leaving himself in a place where his kid might find him was a stupid move

[benchmstr]

bullshit. in fact, he even addressed this in his note here:

"People say suicide is selfish. I think it's selfish to ask people to continue living painful and miserable lives, just so you possibly won't feel sad for a week or two. Suicide may be a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but it's also a permanent solution to a ~23 year-old problem that grows more intense and overwhelming every day"

bottom line is, those who have never been in a similar place mentally simply cannot understand these things (and thankfully so for them) and therefore can only sit back and bash the person who off'ed themselves.

he did have a point with that......but he is still a pussy who took the easy way out.....should have wreck shopped and slayed the molester(his dad) before he struck again and fucked up someone elses life...

bench

[benchmstr]

leaving himself in a place where his kid might find him was a stupid move

bro, i investigated it...the whole thing was a stupid move.....not one part of what he did was rational....knowing his dumbass he likely did it to make the newspaper because "i died for my family"...which he wrote at least 4 times in his note...

bench

[benchmstr]

leaving himself in a place where his kid might find him was a stupid move

he even used the hunting rifle he got his son for his birthday......

bench

[JOHN MATRIX]

bro, i investigated it...the whole thing was a stupid move.....not one part of what he did was rational....knowing his dumbass he likely did it to make the newspaper because "i died for my family"...which he wrote at least 4 times in his note...

bench

in this guys case it definitely seems like the selfish argument would fit