Author Topic: Getbig cage match: Suckmymuscles vs. Ambam (Read 4091 times)

Jadeveon Clowney · « **on:** February 02, 2011, 04:38:30 AM »

Suckmuscles is by his admission ex-special forces, 300 lbs with abs, capable of scaling cliffs with one hand with 100 lbs. backpack (weapons excluded). Intellectually a searcher in the same vein as Johnny Falcon.

Ambam is 500 lbs., ronnie-style gut, conflicted about his identity as ape and desire to be a 150 lb. man (might affect his scaling abilities), lives in captivity and therefore has not had to confront any enemies, some whispers among others in his enclosure that he is lazy.

My money is on suckmuscles to pull it out with his significant intellectual advantage over Ambam (10 whole IQ points!).

Hulkotron · « **Reply #1 on:** February 02, 2011, 05:00:50 AM »

Ambam is great. His father and sister stood/stand up as well, but not as often as he does.

Butterbean · « **Reply #2 on:** February 02, 2011, 09:10:08 AM »

My money is on Ambam. Sucky is too preoccupied at the moment.

Master Blaster · « **Reply #3 on:** February 02, 2011, 09:13:30 AM »

Don't forget sucky has his familiars, the grey alien and the zombie german sheppard the he strangled with his bare hands.

advantage = suckmycock

225for70 · « **Reply #4 on:** February 02, 2011, 09:16:26 AM »

Quote from: Butterbean on February 02, 2011, 09:10:08 AM

My money is on Ambam. Sucky is too preoccupied at the moment.

Do you know Suckymymuscle did to that huge German Shepard? I think that Suckymymucle would be able to out smart any ape that walks the earth.

Butterbean · « **Reply #5 on:** February 02, 2011, 09:22:37 AM »

Quote from: 225for70 on February 02, 2011, 09:16:26 AM

Do you know Suckymymuscle did to that huge German Shepard? I think that Suckymymucle would be able to out smart any ape that walks the earth.

Hmm yes. I had forgotten about that. I may have to reconsider.

Jadeveon Clowney · « **Reply #6 on:** February 02, 2011, 11:03:57 AM »

I had forgotten about the incident with the zombie german shepherd. Good thing I consulted the hive mind.

dr.chimps · « **Reply #7 on:** February 02, 2011, 11:16:34 AM »

Suckmymuscle by TKO in the first: Ambam could not withstand the constant barrage of pontificating and bloviation and retired to his corner.

suckmymuscle · « **Reply #8 on:** February 02, 2011, 12:25:54 PM »

Quote from: Jeo-Lee Yun on February 02, 2011, 04:38:30 AM

Suckmuscles is by his admission ex-special forces, 300 lbs with abs, capable of scaling cliffs with one hand with 100 lbs. backpack (weapons excluded). Intellectually a searcher in the same vein as Johnny Falcon.

Ambam is 500 lbs., ronnie-style gut, conflicted about his identity as ape and desire to be a 150 lb. man (might affect his scaling abilities), lives in captivity and therefore has not had to confront any enemies, some whispers among others in his enclosure that he is lazy.

My money is on suckmuscles to pull it out with his significant intellectual advantage over Ambam (10 whole IQ points!).

That fight would never happen: I love gorillas to death and study them. As for the IQ comment, thanks. Gorillas are intellectually far superior to Human garbage such as yourself, so having 10 IQ points on the gorilla makes me smarter than 95% of all people. Flattered.

SUCKMYMUSCLE

Jadeveon Clowney · « **Reply #9 on:** February 02, 2011, 12:59:28 PM »

Quote from: suckmymuscle on February 02, 2011, 12:25:54 PM

That fight would never happen: I love gorillas to death and study them.

Interesting choice of words. I admit this is a little far-fetched. Much more likely that a grizzly from Kodiak would stumble upon a silverback in the Congo giving rise to an epic death match chronicled in great detail and with sublime lyricism by you, Homer of the wild.

suckmymuscle · « **Reply #10 on:** February 02, 2011, 01:12:30 PM »

Quote from: Jeo-Lee Yun on February 02, 2011, 12:59:28 PM

Interesting choice of words. I admit this is a little far-fetched. Much more likely that a grizzly from Kodiak would stumble upon a silverback in the Congo giving rise to an epic death match chronicled in great detail and with sublime lyricism by you, Homer of the wild.

A brown man from Brazil and a Russian man would never realistically meet with each other to fight, but this is what happens in MMA. Likewise, a kodiak and a gorilla don't need to meet in the wild to fight: we could pitch them in a cage. Yeah, they would never meet left to their own temperaments and environments, but this does not stop us from imagining what would happen if they met. Superman and Spiderman would never fight for real since they are both fictional characters, and yet there are debates about this all the time. You = shitty points.

SUCKMYMUSCLE

hench · « **Reply #11 on:** February 02, 2011, 01:13:16 PM »

looks almost human like. Wasn't there a gorilla v human thread years where someone actually believed Ronnie would stand a chance?

suckmymuscle · « **Reply #12 on:** February 02, 2011, 01:16:23 PM »

Quote from: hench on February 02, 2011, 01:13:16 PM

looks almost human like. Wasn't there a gorilla v human thread years where someone actually believed Ronnie would stand a chance?

A 130 lbs chimp would tear apart one of those 350 lbs "World's Strongest Man" contestants and then eat his balls out. Let alone a 600 lbs silverback. A sikverback can flip a family sedan according to the "Discovery Channel" biologists and zoologists.

SUCKMYMUSCLE

Jadeveon Clowney · « **Reply #13 on:** February 02, 2011, 01:24:23 PM »

Quote from: suckmymuscle on February 02, 2011, 01:12:30 PM

A brown man from Brazil and a Russian man would never realistically meet with each other to fight, but this is what happens in MMA. Likewise, a kodiak and a gorilla don't need to meet in the wild to fight: we could pitch them in a cage. Yeah, they would never meet left to their own temperaments and environments, but this does not stop us from imagining what would happen if they met. Superman and Spiderman would never fight for real since they are both fictional characters, and yet there are debates about this all the time. You = shitty points.

SUCKMYMUSCLE

lol, so I'm imagining what would happen if you and Ambam met. Since you appear to be on your period I think Ambam would own your ass even though you have a slight intellectual advantage.

hench · « **Reply #14 on:** February 02, 2011, 01:27:42 PM »

yea exactly, I saw a program a while back where a chimp basically ripped someones face off

Quote from: suckmymuscle on February 02, 2011, 01:16:23 PM

A 130 lbs chimp would tear apart one of those 350 lbs "World's Strongest Man" contestants and then eat his balls out. Let alone a 600 lbs silverback. A sikverback can flip a family sedan according to the "Discovery Channel" biologists and zoologists.

SUCKMYMUSCLE

Wiggs · « **Reply #15 on:** February 02, 2011, 01:27:52 PM »

Quote from: suckmymuscle on February 02, 2011, 01:16:23 PM

A 130 lbs chimp would tear apart one of those 350 lbs "World's Strongest Man" contestants and then eat his balls out. Let alone a 600 lbs silverback. A sikverback can flip a family sedan according to the "Discovery Channel" biologists and zoologists.

SUCKMYMUSCLE

I disagree. I would destroy them. They have no ground game. Wiggs FTW

Jadeveon Clowney · « **Reply #16 on:** February 02, 2011, 01:31:01 PM »

Quote from: hench on February 02, 2011, 01:27:42 PM

yea exactly, I saw a program a while back where a chimp basically ripped someones face off

There were two different news stories. One featuring Charla Nash in VT or CT and one featuring a couple in CA - all these were old weak people. You could have ripped their faces off if you wanted. If sucksmuscles were not on his period, a 300 lbs with abs ex-special forces Ph.D primatologist like him would own Ambam.

Jadeveon Clowney · « **Reply #17 on:** February 02, 2011, 01:44:10 PM »

Gorillas are basically vegetarians who put on an occasional dominance display. They are the birkenstock wearing hippies of the ape world. When confronted with a finely tuned killing machine like sucksmuscles a gorilla would not know what to do.

suckmymuscle · « **Reply #18 on:** February 02, 2011, 01:53:11 PM »

"Jeo-Lin Yon" is probabaly posting this from some factory collective computer in China where he slaves 18 hours a day to make U.S30.00 a week. Epic loser troll with no skills or intelligence. The gorilla could probably perform his job better than he can. Ha ha ha ha ha ha....

SUCKMYMUSCLE

Jadeveon Clowney · « **Reply #19 on:** February 02, 2011, 01:54:37 PM »

Quote from: suckmymuscle on February 02, 2011, 01:53:11 PM

"Jeo-Lin Yon" is probabaly posting this from some factory collective computer in China where he slaves 18 hours a day to make U.S30.00 a week. Epic loser troll with no skills or intelligence. The gorilla could probably perform his job better than he can. Ha ha ha ha ha ha....

SUCKMYMUSCLE

hench · « **Reply #20 on:** February 02, 2011, 04:08:33 PM »

haha, nice one.

Quote from: suckmymuscle on February 02, 2011, 01:53:11 PM

"Jeo-Lin Yon" is probabaly posting this from some factory collective computer in China where he slaves 18 hours a day to make U.S30.00 a week. Epic loser troll with no skills or intelligence. The gorilla could probably perform his job better than he can. Ha ha ha ha ha ha....

SUCKMYMUSCLE

Hulkotron · « **Reply #21 on:** February 02, 2011, 07:47:02 PM »

Even the tiniest little 75-lb female chimpanzee is crazy-stupid strong compared to a human. Apes have tremendous amounts of muscle in their upper bodies. No man in the history of the world would stand a chance against an angry silverback.

suckmymuscle · « **Reply #22 on:** February 02, 2011, 08:09:33 PM »

Quote from: Hulkotron on February 02, 2011, 07:47:02 PM

Even the tiniest little 75-lb female chimpanzee is crazy-stupid strong compared to a human. Apes have tremendous amounts of muscle in their upper bodies. No man in the history of the world would stand a chance against an angry silverback.

There was a thread in Sherdog some time ago about how Brock Lesnar could take on a gorilla. The gorilla would literally turn Brock upside down and throw him head down on the pavement or simply tear his arms out and beat him with them until he died. Or stick his canines into Brock's jugular making blood come out in spirts. Brock trying to take the gorilla down would be like a toddler with Down's Syndome trying to take a grown man down. A gorilla could one arm barbell row almost a car according to the Discovery Channel. They are 5 times stronger than Humans pound-for-pound due to much greater neuromuscular efficiency, a higher proportion of fast twitch type II muscle fibers and also leverage, and they have 4 times the lean mass of a man. However, they have a higher proportion of mass in their torsos. This is why when it comes to upper body strength gorillas are 30 men or more!!!!!!!!!

SUCKMYMUSCLE

Kim Jong Bob · « **Reply #23 on:** February 03, 2011, 01:44:09 AM »

suck: tell me more about that german sheperd incident, is it true you broke the dogs spine?

suckmymuscle · « **Reply #24 on:** February 03, 2011, 02:03:38 AM »

Quote from: Mensa Bob on February 03, 2011, 01:44:09 AM

suck: tell me more about that german sheperd incident, is it true you broke the dogs spine?

Yes, I sent it to eat a juicy bone in the sky.

SUCKMYMUSCLE