If you force feed off gear you get fat. If you don't have an appetite it means your body doesn't want to grow. If you gear up (and train) you get an appetite. Think.
I would agree with you there, but to me it would be a step up to just eat three square meals a day with a shake thrown in. Even under such a system I believe with muscle memory I would be closer to 180 and with increased strength.
As to gearing up, I am all for it, but unless I can commit to consuming sufficient calories, I feel it would be a waste. What you are saying is that my appetite would increase with the demands of my cycle and I would be inclined to agree with you on that, but I still just don't trust my responsibility with eating and fear I would just waste a cycle.
I'm not mad at myself over this primarily because I still consistently have good strength, no injuries, and train at least three days a week. I also want to make a point to say that from a health perspective, calorie restriction is a good thing, so it's not like I regret what is ultimately a pretty healthy lifestyle.
But still, I would like some more size and I definitely have it on my agenda of things to do. I have to be realistic though, but I think it's fair to say that at some point this year I should be able to get back into it.
Bullshit. You don't want to get bigger or stronger, it's not that important to you. If it was you'd find the 10 seconds it takes to slam a couple weight gainer shakes a day. It's not about life getting in the way or any of that bullshit. You could train for 45 minutes 2-3 times a week or less and with the proper drugs you'd put on a lot of muscle. Shit, you wouldn't even need to train to grow from your present state.
If you are right and going on a cycle would increase my appetite and just make me hungry and crave food, I would be a lot more inclined to do it. My fear is that I would be riding out a cycle and be fine on next to no calories and grow a little but not get the full potential out of the cycle. I just don't want it to go to waste. What would the point be? It's almost sad because my training is going so well that I think I would do a lot better if I could eat more. I'll post more videos later.