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harem building 101"
We all know that polygamy is illegal in some countries. People
can't marry multiple spouses. Of course.
But that doesn't change the fact that certain men or (ahem) women
have figured out how to collect multiple partners of their
choosing.
And to underscore that what I'm about to share with you is NOT
gender specific..
If a simple formula is followed, "harem building" can be done
effectively. What's even more striking, it can be perpetuated
almost indefinitely and not necessarily even with any actual
deception.
Here's how it goes. Let's call the mythical parties "A", "B" and
"C" for our purposes here.
"A" meets "B". "A" dates "B" and says something to the effect of,
"Hey, I really like you and you charm my socks off. I enjoy
spending time with you, and can't wait to see you again. But I'm
just not ready for an exclusive relationship right now. I may be
someday though, and who knows...you may be exactly the one who makes
me want to pursue that in my life."
"B" may be perfectly okay with the "casual" nature of the
friendship. Or, "B" may be more relationship-minded. It really
doesn't matter, because even if the latter is the case, "B" may be
up to the challenge of "persuading" "A" to fall for him/her alone.
So then, in "A"'s mind, "B" is securely in the fold. Know what?
"A" is probably right.
"A" has been honest with "B" about not wanting an exclusive
relationship, at least at the moment. Therefore, "A" meets "C" and
repeats the entire process.
Now, it's easy to extrapolate this concept and come up with a
virtually infinite number of people who "A" has made such an
arrangement with.
Assuming "A" is effective at meeting potential partners, the only
limitations would appear to be "A"s preferences as to how often
s/he would like to see each person on his/her list, and/or the
tolerance people on the list have for receiving less attention than
they might desire.
No matter what, whether the list is two, five, ten or twenty..."A"
has built a harem.
It's true.
And, good gravy, there weren't even any expensive weddings, let
alone the need to support anyone financially.
What a mind blower. Yep...all a "harem builder" (aka "HB") ever
needs to do is simply take a look at the list of people he or she
is dating and decide which one is the preferred companion for
whichever situation.
And it's as easy as that.
Knowing this information, how do you feel about it?
you'd better believe it goes on.
Now, remember I said that there isn't necessarily any deception
involved. Of course, there could be.
"A" may be an outright cheater and tell every "letter" he meets
that he or she is the "only one". So it goes at times.
But...usually that isn't necessary.
A Harem Builder can go about the business at hand with everyone's
permission who is involved.
You may now be able to cast yourself as either "A" or
"B" in the story above. Now what?
Hey, you know, it's altogether possible that "A" may really, truly
be ready for that relationship to happen when the right "B" comes
along.
"B" had better be the type of person who "A" wants to commit to, as
we've talked about previously. It's also completely possible that
you are fully okay with being in "B"s position.
Two things to remember:
First, particularly effective HBs might be able to instill a sense
of loyalty in each and every member of his/her harem simply by
dangling the "carrot" of a potential future exclusive relationship.
Psychologically, this often results in being treated to a sexual
partnership from "harem members" (HMs) who may see it as a way of
getting the HB to move into relationship mode.
Often, sex has a much different meaning to HMs, of course, and said
HMs are uncomfortable with multiple partners, preferring to simply
block out of mind the fact that the relationship with the HB isn't
(yet) exclusive.
This means that HBs can actually have multiple partners...most or all
of whom are faithful only to him or her! In these cases, you can
begin to see how the concept of "harem building" isn't hyperbole.
That's exactly what it is.
That brings us to our second thing to remember. If you are
accepting membership into harems around here, you have every right
to build your own, don't you? Now there's a challenging thought,
right?
Some of you will no doubt think that what we are
talking about here is precisely what you want out of your
relational pursuits...
Others, who are not willing to settle for anyone less than a
partner who completes him or her are ready to vomit. The choice is
yours...
