I appreciate the kind words again, guys. They think Buddy had tumors on his kidneys and/or liver and they burst, spreading blood into his abdomen and lungs. I feel consumed with guilt because I'm afraid I might have hit him too hard in the side and might have been the one to rupture something. I always rough house with my pets but I've never hit them on the level one would consider abuse, and I always thought I was careful not to play with him too aggressively because of his age and declining health.
Maybe I just have too much on my mind because I know people can blame themselves when they grieve, but I don't know what to think. My wife's been crying uncontrollably so I've been trying to calm my mind and be supportive for her. I thought I loved Buddy, but damn, my wife was IN love with the poor old mutt. It tears my heart out to see my wife collapse in tears. But I'm doing what I can to be strong and take care of my family. We sure loved that stinky old pooch.
I came on here because I just got a text from my brother too. He said my mom called from the hospital because my stepdad might have cancer and something's seriously fucked up with his health. There's a tumor on his kidneys and possibly his liver. She works at the hospital so thankfully we should get preferential treatment and really quick test results. I don't know what to make of it. I have no idea what tests they're doing or when to expect to hear back. Just sitting tight and hoping for the best.
My stepdad has drank a lot of beer in his life time and he's had gout and other health issues. Nothing major or anything, and he's young as shit (he's only turning 45 in May) so this is fucked up. My mom was visiting me on Sunday because my exchange students wanted to cook this week's Sunday dinner but she peaced out early. My aunt and grandma-in-law were with her and she whispered in my ear that she was sorry for leaving, but my stepdad was pissing blood at home and she needed to check up on him. I thought she just meant there were specs of blood but nothing serious. She never contacted me until now so I don't know... so much shit going on.
Hope you guys can spare some more good vibes for my stepdad. I've never had more respect for anyone in my life than probably this man. He's the one person in my life I've tried to mould myself after, so any good qualities you guys have seen from me are just things I've learned from him. Thanks for letting me vent.