Author Topic: Tell your funniest Joke Thread... (Read 8387 times)

A Professional · « **on:** June 05, 2012, 04:29:41 AM »

I'll go first:

What do you do if someone is having a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry woooosh!!!

Hulkotron · « **Reply #1 on:** June 05, 2012, 05:33:26 AM »

How do you get a clown off of a swing?

Hit it in the face with an axe.

Marlo Stanfield · « **Reply #2 on:** June 05, 2012, 05:34:31 AM »

Quote from: A Professional on June 05, 2012, 04:29:41 AM

I'll go first:

What do you do if someone is having a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry woooosh!!!

whats the difference between your mom and the laundry machine you mentioned? when i dump a load in the laundry machine, it doesnt blow up my phone for the next 2 weeks

Army of One · « **Reply #3 on:** June 05, 2012, 05:35:05 AM »

Who is sucking my cock?

Your mom.

A Professional · « **Reply #4 on:** June 05, 2012, 05:36:15 AM »

Quote from: Marlo Stanfield on June 05, 2012, 05:34:31 AM

whats the difference between your mom and the laundry machine you mentioned? when i dump a load in the laundry machine, it doesnt blow up my phone for the next 2 weeks

What's the difference between your Mom and a Urinal at the Million Man March? Your mom has been pissed on by more black cocks

Hulkotron · « **Reply #5 on:** June 05, 2012, 05:59:41 AM »

Quote from: Marlo Stanfield on June 05, 2012, 05:34:31 AM

whats the difference between your mom and the laundry machine you mentioned? when i dump a load in the laundry machine, it doesnt blow up my phone for the next 2 weeks

lol

Krankenstein · « **Reply #6 on:** June 05, 2012, 06:01:23 AM »

Quote from: Hulkotron on June 05, 2012, 05:33:26 AM

How do you get a clown off of a swing?

Hit it in the face with an axe.

Quote from: Marlo Stanfield on June 05, 2012, 05:34:31 AM

whats the difference between your mom and the laundry machine you mentioned? when i dump a load in the laundry machine, it doesnt blow up my phone for the next 2 weeks

LMAO....have a bronchial infection going right now and laughing is an absolute bitch....two awesome ones...LOL

bigkubby · « **Reply #7 on:** June 05, 2012, 06:25:28 AM »

your moms so hairy when she shaved her pussy it filled a trashbag

A Professional · « **Reply #8 on:** June 05, 2012, 06:29:28 AM »

Legend of lowbrow humor

the trainer · « **Reply #9 on:** June 05, 2012, 06:37:30 AM »

What does A Professional say to his boyfriend when they are going on vacation...........

Can I help you pack your shit.

Stark · « **Reply #10 on:** June 05, 2012, 06:43:00 AM »

Quote from: A Professional on June 05, 2012, 06:29:28 AM

Legend of lowbrow humor

God that guy was so shit, he served the lower class type of humor, not funny not witty not sarcastic - just plain stupid and low.

El Diablo Blanco · « **Reply #11 on:** June 05, 2012, 07:09:18 AM »

Your Mama So Fat
when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'...

she once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!

folk exercise by jogging around her!

when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.

she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy

she make Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie

NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer

she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm...

small objects orbit her.

she make olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic.

when I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

when she farted she launched herself into orbit.

she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her...behind Mount Everest.

when I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol!

she could be the eighth continent.

she nearly put Safeway out of business

the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.

her Uni graduation photo was an aerial

when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.

she make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.

her fave food is seconds.

her belt size is Equator.

she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid

she wears an 'X' jacket and Copters attempt to land on her

she shows up on radar.

she needs a map to find her butt.

she fell into the Grand Canyon....and got stuck!

she wears an asteroid belt.

her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued overleaf'

she has TB ... 2 bellys.

she's once, twice, three times a lady.

she was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.

the circus use her as a trampoline

stunt agencies use her as an air mattress

when she opens the Fridge it says - 'I give up...'

she got a new gig at the Cinema...she works as the screen

she once told me 'I could eat a horse'...believe me, she wasn't kidding!

she deep fries her toothpaste

BB · « **Reply #12 on:** June 05, 2012, 07:57:09 AM »

A horse walks into a bar.....

Bartender goes "Why the long face?"

Horse says "I just found out I've got the AIDS".

------------------

Two cannibals are sitting at a picnic table eating a clown......

One looks at the other and goes "Does this taste funny to you?".

---------------------------

godeep · « **Reply #13 on:** June 05, 2012, 08:47:57 AM »

A Jewish daughter says to her mother, "I'm divorcing Joe." All he wants is sex, sex and more sex and he's so, so big. My vagina is now the size of a silver dollar when it used to be the size of a nickel."
Her mother says, "You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman, you live in an 8-bedroom mansion, you drive a $250,000 Ferrari, you get $2,000 a week allowance, you take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away...over what?.... 95 cents

Stark · « **Reply #14 on:** June 05, 2012, 08:48:45 AM »

Guy comes home - in the door he shouts at his wife:

He: WOMAN, TIME FOR SOME BRUTAL RAPE SEX!!!!

She: no fucking way!!!!

He: THAT'S THE SPIRIT!!!

Stark · « **Reply #15 on:** June 05, 2012, 08:49:45 AM »

Quote from: BB on June 05, 2012, 07:57:09 AM

A horse walks into a bar.....

Bartender goes "Why the long face?"

Horse says "I just found out I've got the AIDS".

------------------

Two cannibals are sitting at a picnic table eating a clown......

One looks at the other and goes "Does this taste funny to you?".

---------------------------

Second one is great

Schmoff · « **Reply #16 on:** June 05, 2012, 08:56:32 AM »

musclecenter claims natural

Coach is Back! · « **Reply #17 on:** June 05, 2012, 09:07:46 AM »

A terrorist, a muslim, a communist, a black guy and a white guy walk into a bar and the bartender says, "what can I get for you to drink Mr. President"?

Krankenstein · « **Reply #18 on:** June 05, 2012, 09:17:33 AM »

Quote from: The Coach on June 05, 2012, 09:07:46 AM

A terrorist, a muslim, a communist, a black guy and a white guy walk into a bar and the bartender says, "what can I get for you to drink Mr. President"?

((crickets))

Radical Plato · « **Reply #19 on:** June 05, 2012, 09:24:57 AM »

Nasser deserved to be Mr Olympia

garebear · « **Reply #20 on:** June 05, 2012, 09:26:07 AM »

Ha. Good thread. I want in on this.

Stark · « **Reply #21 on:** June 05, 2012, 09:28:38 AM »

Quote from: The Coach on June 05, 2012, 09:07:46 AM

A terrorist, a muslim, a communist, a black guy and a white guy walk into a bar and the bartender says, "what can I get for you to drink Mr. President"?

thats fucking shit - look even in a lighthearted threat like this you have to push your right wing propaganda

Coach is Back! · « **Reply #22 on:** June 05, 2012, 09:38:38 AM »

Quote from: Stark on June 05, 2012, 09:28:38 AM

thats fucking shit - look even in a lighthearted threat like this you have to push your right wing propaganda

Quit whining. It's a joke.

The Ugly · « **Reply #23 on:** June 05, 2012, 09:42:09 AM »

A Jewish kid asks to borrow $50 from his dad. Dad says,"40 bucks?! Why do you need 30 bucks?!"

Marlo Stanfield · « **Reply #24 on:** June 05, 2012, 09:48:58 AM »

a jewish guy and a priest are sitting in a park, they see a 12 yr old boy walk by.

Priest: man, i'd really love to screw that boy
Jewish Guy: Out of what ?

Author Topic: Tell your funniest Joke Thread... (Read 8387 times)

the trainer