Shitting your pants on the first date and other stories...

[Primemuscle]

^^^ true about the alcohol. I've carried out many drunken people who after having passed out, shat themselves. One guy as we were carrying him down the stairs, (because he chooses to wear his pants like the fags today, under his ram hole (bum) had shit pouring out of him. He shat all the was down the stairs and we dumped him in a corner outside.

How lovely it is to be a doorman...

I did not realize that "sagging" your pants was considered a gay thing....I thought it was actually a gangsta' move. Either way, it seems and looks very stupid.

[Donny]

Yes coffee gets my ass twitching ..

[Dr Dutch]

This thread deserves The Honey Badger Award.....he just doesn't give a SHIT....

[Dr Dutch]

Ha ha amazing story.

I was at Wal Mart on Christmas Eve getting my mom and dad last minute gift for Christmas. I had to shit so bad, but I thought I could hold it. I got out to the parking lot and completely forgot where I parked  This is a huge Wal Mart parking lot it was completely packed you could barely find a spot. Well I squeezed my ass cheeks together as hard as I could and walked up and down a few rows. I had to go so bad I thought about squatting behind someones car and just letting it rip. Finally I found my car. I was almost in tears the whole way home. I was yelling and screaming to myself "you can make it" "you can make it" Finally got home sprinted up the stairs right before I hit the toilet a half a turd slipped out into my boxers. Thank god I was at home. What a mess.

  I almost shit my pants reading this......what a low level humor I like. 

[Dr Dutch]

The first time my present girlfriend slept over I got up in the middle of the night to piss and likely due to the large amounts of High Life I drank I slipped out a wet fart. Unbeknownst to me I had actually sharted.
I returned to bed in a drunken stupor. A few hours later I woke up when my girlfriend went to the bathroom. When she got up I noticed a strong fecal odor coming from underneath the blanket. Once I was sure she was in the bathroom I checked my drawers…..they were spotted. I immediately jumped out of bed, ripped off my drawers, and whipped them in the closest. I went back to sleep in a pair of gym shorts.

To make matters worse she went home at 6am making me think she must have been unable to endure the stench. After hours of soul searching and contemplation I decided to call her and confess. Turns out she had no idea what I was talking about an asked me why I would admit such a thing. Unable to come up with a reply I hung up the phone and turned it off.

   Ah man this wasn't one of your finest hours..

[Dr Dutch]

I had the flu some months ago and while standing in the kitchen I decided to let out a fart. Turns out to be a cascade of shit. There was a trail of shit form kitchen to the bathroom.. and I ruined my favorite pair of shorts. That was the first time in 12 years that I shat myself.

Wet farts are risky business...

[Dr Dutch]

Yep, senior year of highschool at a big party.  My stomach was cramping soo bad and all the bathrooms at this house had hot chicks standing around them.  I didn't want to drop my "nuke" there because I knew the radiation would spread through the entire house.  I only lived 5 miles away so decided to dip out for a few to relieve myself.  The whole way home my ass cheeks were clenched I was chanting " you can make it you can make it".  I pull into my drive way and step on the break.  As soon as my foot was on the break I felt like if I relaxed any muscle in my body then the shit would come flying out.  So I sat in the driveway for a minute or two with my food jammed in the break and every muscle in my body flexing.  When I finnaly eased my foot off that break, the nastiest diarrhea shit of my life flooded my pants and oozed out onto the driver seat.  Walking into my house my dad was standing in the kitchen and he asked me why I was home so early.  I shamefully looked at the ground and said " I shit my pants".  He nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders and said " oh I did that last week at Krogers"!

Oh God I'm reading these posts one by one and I realize my level of humor is sooo low...

[Dr Dutch]

My friend fucked a one night stand so hard that she lay a dump in the bed 5seconds after they where finished. She turned red asked him to get of the bed, took the drawers put them in a plastic bag and went home. God damnit that must have been embarassing for her. We live in a small town so everyone heard it lol

[The Showstoppa]

I have one... a guy I was stationed with in Germany was dating a girl/living with her, who lived about 1 hr away from our post.  He took the autobahn back and forth.  He was driving home from work one day and the urge hit him suddenly and violently, as anyone who has driven the autobahn knows, back then it didn't have many stops.....not like here in the US with exits every mile....  so he does his best to hold things together.....but he failed and shat all over himself.  He said luckily the gf wasn't home when he got there....  funniest part of the whole story is that he shared this with us, unsolicited.  I would have taken that one to my grave my friends.  The guy was crazy and didn't care.

[Ronnie Rep]

Farts and Shit always  good for a laugh!

[The Abdominal Snoman]

My friend fucked a one night stand so hard that she lay a dump in the bed 5seconds after they where finished. She turned red asked him to get of the bed, took the drawers put them in a plastic bag and went home. God damnit that must have been embarassing for her. We live in a small town so everyone heard it lol

If he never told a soul, he could have held it over her and been able to bang that girl anytime, anywhere for the rest of his life.

[King Shizzo]

I swear I didn't read a single post in this thread.  But when a "I shit my pants" thread reaches 60+ replies, the you know Getbig jumped the shark.

[The Abdominal Snoman]

i would never shit in a broads house when i first met them, when i met my wife 11 years ago i had to shit bad and told her i had to go get something out of my car. i snuck on the side of her house and right in the middle of me shitting she came outside and saw me

lmfao. thats awesome

[The Abdominal Snoman]

Lee Priest is reading this thread and jerking off with the sexual strength of 100 men

[Army of One]

 I was yelling and screaming to myself "you can make it" "you can make it"

I was picturing the rocky music playing in the background, with the Rock at full speed up the steps

[D.O.U.P]

I unleashed my growler in front of 3 hot bitches.

Drunk. Very.

 A Friday night. Chicago, Ill 2001

Was 50 FEET FROM THE DAMN DOOR TO MY APT BUILDING.

Weaving...jogging towards the door......NOPE.

PooP STORM JUST AS THREE HOT BIZATCHES walked by me.

They laughed.... well one girl gagged/giggled

It shot down me leg and splatted the pavement.

I smiled and invited them in for a group fuck, they declined.

[Soul Crusher]

Never had a full download in my pants, but once when sick w diahria shit just sprayed out in small chunks.

was disgusting.  Had to toss out underwear and race for a shower. 

[ritch]

I swear I didn't read a single post in this thread.  But when a "I shit my pants" thread reaches 60+ replies, the you know Getbig jumped the shark.

How could you doubt the popularity of such a thread?

[POB]

Buddy works for the power company. He had a job in a backyard, said he got halfway up(18feet) and felt nature call. He said there was no way he'd make it down so he belted in right there, dropped his drawers and dropped a deuce from 18ft up. Best part was when he was done he climbed the rest of the way up and finished his job before climbing down to "clean up"

[BIG ACH]

Was on a factory tour in Atlanta, walking around in a nice suit, had some stomach issues for some reason, had gas, decided to fart....  Turns out it wasn't a fart....  little bit of something else came out... had to walk around all day with that in my pants, until the evening when all my meetings were over...  Fucking jumped in the shower!

It sucked!  And I tried to keep my distance from everybody!

[Soul Crusher]

When I was 16 I dropped a turd on the doorstep of Scarsdale Middle School entrance door for fun. 

[Soul Crusher]

Was on a factory tour in Atlanta, walking around in a nice suit, had some stomach issues for some reasons, had gas, decided to fart....  Turns out it wasn't a fart....  little bit of something else came out... had to walk around all day with that in my pants, until the evening when all my meetings were over...  Fucking jumped in the shower!

It sucked!  And I tried to keep my distance from everybody!

Yuck.     .

[MikMaq]

While a first year in college I passed out on the toilet. The guys decided to do the nice thing, and pull my pants up and throw me in my bed. The assholes seemed to take great delight in telling everyone that I didn`t even dump in the toilet. Little did they know I woke up the next morning, with a big wet beer dump in my pants covering my ass to the back of my knees. Fucking disgusting, worst part was my friends decided to come out to res for a visit un annouced, so not only did I have the worst hangover of my life, I had to worry about my room stinking of shit. Sadly at the time I had no idea that rum made you smell bad, I thought  it was shit.

[Soul Crusher]

While a first year in college I passed out on the toilet. The guys decided to do the nice thing, and pull my pants up and throw me in my bed. The assholes seemed to take great delight in telling everyone that I didn`t even dump in the toilet. Little did they know I woke up the next morning, with a big wet beer dump in my pants covering my ass to the back of my knees. Fucking disgusting, worst part was my friends decided to come out to res for a visit un annouced, so not only did I have the worst hangover of my life, I had to worry about my room stinking of shit. Sadly at the time I had no idea that rum made you smell bad, I thought  it was shit.

Dear god.    .

[The Ugly]

"Shitting your pants" at 4 pages. Wow.