Girl I shagged took me to her flat

[Raymondo]

I met her at a nightclub on Saturday night. We danced for a bit then she goes, care to come to my flat for a drink?

I walk in and the place is a fucking dump. There's fucking mold on the wals, the furniture looks like it's third hand, the loo smelled like something had died in it, you get the picture.

Not to mention she lives with four other people. She says "I just moved in; I know it's horrible the people here are slobs".

As we came in one of them was in the kitchen eatings beans and toast. She says "I'll be back in a bit" and I'm left alone with this poor soul who I can only describe as very unkempt. A pathetic skinny little cunt with wide eyes and thinning hair who has a t-shirt on saying "muscle monster". I'm thinking what the fuck is this boy on?

He looks at me strangely until I ask him, got a problem pal? He says, you're the fourth guy she's brought in this week, I tell him, I'll make sure to come back next week with two of my mates. His face goes red he says, you just make sure to stay away from the blue towel in the bathroom. I was thinking up something sarcastic to say when she comes back and we grab a bottle of wine and go to her room. Which was next to this little prick's room.

What's with the skeleton in your kitchen, I goes. He thinks he's Colin Farrel, she replies. More like Farrel's pikey brother, I says. He tried to get me to bed when I first moved in, she says. I ignored him and he's been totally passive-aggressive every since.

We had a mighty good laugh at that.

I shagged her five times that night, trying to make as much noise as possible. She urged me on saying, you can be as loud as you like, Jamie is the only person in, the other guys are away. I say, he won't be bothered? She says, he's probably wanking over pictures of black bodybuilders right now


In the morning I went and had a royal shower- Before I left I made sure to wipe my arse with his towel and use his toothbrush to comb through my pubic hair

[manuelsonn]

pics or didn t happend

[Tito24]

[mass243]

women with lack of feminine characters like taking care of their apartment, doing laundry, cooking etc. disgust me.

Should be sent in Egypt.

[Tito24]

its a good indication on how shes with her own hygiene

[Irongrip400]

I see what you did there

[mass243]

Not dissing Mr. Raymondo here... he fuked last saturday, which is more than I did   

But gosh I'm happy I lived my young years when girls were shy and cute (in public) and all about tidiness, good behavior etc.

[Tapeworm]

I did the share house living thing in London.  There are some feral fuckers out there.

Don't mention you have a place of your own or you'll have to throw acid at her to get rid of her.

[Kwon_2]

Did this happen in New Zealand?

[polychronopolous]

You didn't piss in their ice cube trays when no one was looking or go for the classic upper decker in "Jamie's" (oh brother ) toilet??

You're slacking, son.  

[Fortress]

Romance is alive.

[OneMoreRep]

Well played Raymondo, very well played!!

 

"1"

[Army of One]

haha, alot people arnt getting this thread, very amusing  

[Shockwave]

haha, alot people arnt getting this thread, very amusing  

x2

[JasonH]

NZMM getting brutally owned in this thread.

[bike nut]

PTPS so I can determine if I want to be part of her "rotation policy".    

NZMuscleBullshitter strikes again.....

[bradistani]

i had a very similar experience years ago with a trollop i met over the airwaves on my mates cb radio.

walked in her flat and there was a fucking numpty sat on the floor with his collection of butterfly knives set out in front of him.

she was a scruff, although a quite pretty scruff. her chubby belly oozed through the broken zip on her jeans.

anyway, i fucked her on someones bed whilst all the others were sat down stairs. i'd only known her about an hour   

[polychronopolous]

i had a very similar experience years ago with a trollop i met over the airwaves on my mates cb radio.

walked in her flat and there was a fucking numpty sat on the floor with his collection of butterfly knives set out in front of him.

she was a scruff, although a quite pretty scruff. her chubby belly oozed through the broken zip on her jeans.

anyway, i fucked her on someones bed whilst all the others were sat down stairs. i'd only known her about an hour   

You met her at a truck stop in your buddies 18 wheeler? 

[bradistani]

You met her at a truck stop in your buddies 18 wheeler? 

nah! home based cb radios used to be quite popular in the uk. i never got into it but a friend at the time was well into it  he would nick 'em from taxi's 

great for meeting whores though 

[polychronopolous]

nah! home based cb radios used to be quite popular in the uk. i never got into it but a friend at the time was well into it  he would nick 'em from taxi's 

great for meeting whores though 

Yeah I had an uncle who was really into CBs growing up. He had one installed in his home out in the country with this big ass antenna. He would get on there late at night and all the guys/girls would be drunk and talking shit to each other, which in Texas is pretty damn funny....kinda like trolling on here but just a different form I suppose. lol 

It's actually pretty cool to mess around with when you are younger. I used to almost piss my pants laughing as a young kid listening to these people go back and forth. Comedic gold. 

[bradistani]

Yeah I had an uncle who was really into CBs growing up. He had one installed in his home out in the country with this big ass antenna. He would get on there late at night and all the guys/girls would be drunk and talking shit to each other, which in Texas is pretty damn funny....kinda like trolling on here but just a different form I suppose. lol 

It's actually pretty cool to mess around with when you are younger. I used to almost piss my pants laughing as a young kid listening to these people go back and forth. Comedic gold. 

ah, man. life before the internet eh ! 

[Purple Aki]

nah! home based cb radios used to be quite popular in the uk. i never got into it but a friend at the time was well into it  he would nick 'em from taxi's 

great for meeting whores though 

When the fuck were CB radios ever popular, grandad?

[HTexan]

I met her at a nightclub on Saturday night. We danced for a bit then she goes, care to come to my flat for a drink?

I walk in and the place is a fucking dump. There's fucking mold on the wals, the furniture looks like it's third hand, the loo smelled like something had died in it, you get the picture.

Not to mention she lives with four other people. She says "I just moved in; I know it's horrible the people here are slobs".

As we came in one of them was in the kitchen eatings beans and toast. She says "I'll be back in a bit" and I'm left alone with this poor soul who I can only describe as very unkempt. A pathetic skinny little cunt with wide eyes and thinning hair who has a t-shirt on saying "muscle monster". I'm thinking what the fuck is this boy on?

He looks at me strangely until I ask him, got a problem pal? He says, you're the fourth guy she's brought in this week, I tell him, I'll make sure to come back next week with two of my mates. His face goes red he says, you just make sure to stay away from the blue towel in the bathroom. I was thinking up something sarcastic to say when she comes back and we grab a bottle of wine and go to her room. Which was next to this little prick's room.

I shagged her five times that night, trying to make as much noise as possible. She urged me on saying, you can be as loud as you like, Jamie is the only person in, the other guys are away. I say, he won't be bothered? She says, he's probably wanking over pictures of black bodybuilders right now


In the morning I went and had a royal shower- Before I left I made sure to wipe my arse with his towel and use his toothbrush to comb through my pubic hair

seriously tho, if she is that dirty, you go to the clinic soon.

[CatInHat]

not one werd of thsi story is true

[shizzo81]

I see what you did there

Me too.  Too bad most of these guys won't get it.