Author Topic: Girl I shagged took me to her flat  (Read 9776 times)

Raymondo

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 6736
  • I broke Excel
Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« on: July 09, 2012, 08:39:00 AM »
I met her at a nightclub on Saturday night. We danced for a bit then she goes, care to come to my flat for a drink?

I walk in and the place is a fucking dump. There's fucking mold on the wals, the furniture looks like it's third hand, the loo smelled like something had died in it, you get the picture.

Not to mention she lives with four other people. She says "I just moved in; I know it's horrible the people here are slobs".

As we came in one of them was in the kitchen eatings beans and toast. She says "I'll be back in a bit" and I'm left alone with this poor soul who I can only describe as very unkempt. A pathetic skinny little cunt with wide eyes and thinning hair who has a t-shirt on saying "muscle monster". I'm thinking what the fuck is this boy on?

He looks at me strangely until I ask him, got a problem pal? He says, you're the fourth guy she's brought in this week, I tell him, I'll make sure to come back next week with two of my mates. His face goes red he says, you just make sure to stay away from the blue towel in the bathroom. I was thinking up something sarcastic to say when she comes back and we grab a bottle of wine and go to her room. Which was next to this little prick's room.

What's with the skeleton in your kitchen, I goes. He thinks he's Colin Farrel, she replies. More like Farrel's pikey brother, I says. He tried to get me to bed when I first moved in, she says. I ignored him and he's been totally passive-aggressive every since.

We had a mighty good laugh at that.

I shagged her five times that night, trying to make as much noise as possible. She urged me on saying, you can be as loud as you like, Jamie is the only person in, the other guys are away. I say, he won't be bothered? She says, he's probably wanking over pictures of black bodybuilders right now ;D


In the morning I went and had a royal shower- Before I left I made sure to wipe my arse with his towel and use his toothbrush to comb through my pubic hair ;D ;D

manuelsonn

  • Getbig IV
  • ****
  • Posts: 1021
  • Team BAN CREATINE!
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2012, 08:40:02 AM »
pics or didn t happend

Tito24

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 20638
  • I'm a large man but.. one with a plan
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2012, 08:41:33 AM »

mass243

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 12873
  • On right side of the history!
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2012, 08:42:53 AM »

women with lack of feminine characters like taking care of their apartment, doing laundry, cooking etc. disgust me.

Should be sent in Egypt.

Tito24

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 20638
  • I'm a large man but.. one with a plan
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #4 on: July 09, 2012, 08:47:53 AM »
its a good indication on how shes with her own hygiene

Irongrip400

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 21103
  • Pan Germanism, Pax Britannica
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #5 on: July 09, 2012, 09:02:09 AM »
I see what you did there ;D

mass243

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 12873
  • On right side of the history!
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2012, 09:05:35 AM »

Not dissing Mr. Raymondo here... he fuked last saturday, which is more than I did   ;D

But gosh I'm happy I lived my young years when girls were shy and cute (in public) and all about tidiness, good behavior etc.

Tapeworm

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 29030
  • Hold Fast
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2012, 09:07:04 AM »
I did the share house living thing in London.  There are some feral fuckers out there.

Don't mention you have a place of your own or you'll have to throw acid at her to get rid of her.

Kwon_2

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 33809
  • Pretty sure he isn't in Ibiza getting the girls
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #8 on: July 09, 2012, 09:23:04 AM »
Did this happen in New Zealand?

polychronopolous

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 19041
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #9 on: July 09, 2012, 09:24:12 AM »
You didn't piss in their ice cube trays when no one was looking or go for the classic upper decker in "Jamie's" (oh brother ::) ) toilet??

You're slacking, son.  :-\ :-X

Fortress

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 19874
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #10 on: July 09, 2012, 09:27:17 AM »
Romance is alive.

OneMoreRep

  • Moderator
  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 13987
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #11 on: July 09, 2012, 09:27:26 AM »
Well played Raymondo, very well played!!

 ;D

"1"

Army of One

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 30388
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #12 on: July 09, 2012, 09:28:00 AM »
haha, alot people arnt getting this thread, very amusing  ;D

Shockwave

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 20807
  • Decepticons! Scramble!
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #13 on: July 09, 2012, 09:34:55 AM »
haha, alot people arnt getting this thread, very amusing  ;D
x2

JasonH

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 11704
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #14 on: July 09, 2012, 09:41:34 AM »
NZMM getting brutally owned in this thread.

bike nut

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 4239
  • Desperation is a stinky cologne
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #15 on: July 09, 2012, 09:42:24 AM »
PTPS so I can determine if I want to be part of her "rotation policy".    ;D

NZMuscleBullshitter strikes again..... ::)

bradistani

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 70692
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #16 on: July 09, 2012, 10:00:41 AM »
i had a very similar experience years ago with a trollop i met over the airwaves on my mates cb radio.

walked in her flat and there was a fucking numpty sat on the floor with his collection of butterfly knives set out in front of him.

she was a scruff, although a quite pretty scruff. her chubby belly oozed through the broken zip on her jeans.

anyway, i fucked her on someones bed whilst all the others were sat down stairs. i'd only known her about an hour   :D

polychronopolous

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 19041
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #17 on: July 09, 2012, 10:06:42 AM »
i had a very similar experience years ago with a trollop i met over the airwaves on my mates cb radio.

walked in her flat and there was a fucking numpty sat on the floor with his collection of butterfly knives set out in front of him.

she was a scruff, although a quite pretty scruff. her chubby belly oozed through the broken zip on her jeans.

anyway, i fucked her on someones bed whilst all the others were sat down stairs. i'd only known her about an hour   :D

You met her at a truck stop in your buddies 18 wheeler?  ???

bradistani

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 70692
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #18 on: July 09, 2012, 10:13:25 AM »
You met her at a truck stop in your buddies 18 wheeler?  ???

nah! home based cb radios used to be quite popular in the uk. i never got into it but a friend at the time was well into it  ::) he would nick 'em from taxi's  :-X

great for meeting whores though  8)

polychronopolous

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 19041
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #19 on: July 09, 2012, 10:19:31 AM »
nah! home based cb radios used to be quite popular in the uk. i never got into it but a friend at the time was well into it  ::) he would nick 'em from taxi's  :-X

great for meeting whores though  8)

Yeah I had an uncle who was really into CBs growing up. He had one installed in his home out in the country with this big ass antenna. He would get on there late at night and all the guys/girls would be drunk and talking shit to each other, which in Texas is pretty damn funny....kinda like trolling on here but just a different form I suppose. lol  :D

It's actually pretty cool to mess around with when you are younger. I used to almost piss my pants laughing as a young kid listening to these people go back and forth. Comedic gold.  ;D

bradistani

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 70692
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #20 on: July 09, 2012, 10:29:24 AM »
Yeah I had an uncle who was really into CBs growing up. He had one installed in his home out in the country with this big ass antenna. He would get on there late at night and all the guys/girls would be drunk and talking shit to each other, which in Texas is pretty damn funny....kinda like trolling on here but just a different form I suppose. lol  :D

It's actually pretty cool to mess around with when you are younger. I used to almost piss my pants laughing as a young kid listening to these people go back and forth. Comedic gold.  ;D

ah, man. life before the internet eh !  8)

Purple Aki

  • Getbig IV
  • ****
  • Posts: 1892
  • penisory contact with her volvo.
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #21 on: July 09, 2012, 10:39:35 AM »
nah! home based cb radios used to be quite popular in the uk. i never got into it but a friend at the time was well into it  ::) he would nick 'em from taxi's  :-X

great for meeting whores though  8)
When the fuck were CB radios ever popular, grandad?

HTexan

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 20031
  • Heath must lose!!
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #22 on: July 09, 2012, 10:55:51 AM »
I met her at a nightclub on Saturday night. We danced for a bit then she goes, care to come to my flat for a drink?

I walk in and the place is a fucking dump. There's fucking mold on the wals, the furniture looks like it's third hand, the loo smelled like something had died in it, you get the picture.

Not to mention she lives with four other people. She says "I just moved in; I know it's horrible the people here are slobs".

As we came in one of them was in the kitchen eatings beans and toast. She says "I'll be back in a bit" and I'm left alone with this poor soul who I can only describe as very unkempt. A pathetic skinny little cunt with wide eyes and thinning hair who has a t-shirt on saying "muscle monster". I'm thinking what the fuck is this boy on?

He looks at me strangely until I ask him, got a problem pal? He says, you're the fourth guy she's brought in this week, I tell him, I'll make sure to come back next week with two of my mates. His face goes red he says, you just make sure to stay away from the blue towel in the bathroom. I was thinking up something sarcastic to say when she comes back and we grab a bottle of wine and go to her room. Which was next to this little prick's room.

I shagged her five times that night, trying to make as much noise as possible. She urged me on saying, you can be as loud as you like, Jamie is the only person in, the other guys are away. I say, he won't be bothered? She says, he's probably wanking over pictures of black bodybuilders right now ;D


In the morning I went and had a royal shower- Before I left I made sure to wipe my arse with his towel and use his toothbrush to comb through my pubic hair ;D ;D
seriously tho, if she is that dirty, you go to the clinic soon.
A

CatInHat

  • Getbig II
  • **
  • Posts: 84
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #23 on: July 09, 2012, 10:58:21 AM »
not one werd of thsi story is true

King Shizzo

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 34189
  • Ron crowned me King because I always deliver.
Re: Girl I shagged took me to her flat
« Reply #24 on: July 09, 2012, 11:01:13 AM »
I see what you did there ;D
Me too.  Too bad most of these guys won't get it.