Author Topic: Ask an ex. Zookeeper anything (Read 16872 times)

Dr Dutch · « **Reply #50 on:** July 30, 2012, 09:39:24 AM »

Quote from: Tapeworm on July 30, 2012, 02:13:03 AM

Without problems happening can you put in one cage white gorillas, black gorillas, and jewish gorillas?

All non-human primates got a white skin..

Hulkotron · « **Reply #51 on:** July 30, 2012, 09:41:04 AM »

Nice post Tito.

Dr Dutch · « **Reply #52 on:** July 30, 2012, 09:42:24 AM »

Quote from: TonyAlva on July 30, 2012, 07:40:11 AM

there is a ger-man chick at my office, nastiest, ugliest bitch inside/out I have ever met. Are all ger-man chicks like this or is she the exception? (serious question) fyi, she is also obese

You are confused. What you describe is not a ger-man, but a ger-woman..

Stark · « **Reply #53 on:** July 30, 2012, 09:55:52 AM »

Quote from: Dr Dutch on July 30, 2012, 09:42:24 AM

You are confused. What you describe is not a ger-man, but a ger-woman..

Purple Aki · « **Reply #54 on:** July 30, 2012, 09:59:17 AM »

Tbf, working at a zoo has to be my dream job. I'd love to work with reptiles and birds of prey.

We're there any animals that you hated working with?

Dr Dutch · « **Reply #55 on:** July 30, 2012, 10:08:39 AM »

Quote from: Purple Aki on July 30, 2012, 09:59:17 AM

Tbf, working at a zoo has to be my dream job. I'd love to work with reptiles and birds of prey.

We're there any animals that you hated working with?

Maybe the honey badgers, 'cause they really don't give a shit?

Stark · « **Reply #56 on:** July 30, 2012, 10:10:22 AM »

Quote from: Purple Aki on July 30, 2012, 09:59:17 AM

Tbf, working at a zoo has to be my dream job. I'd love to work with reptiles and birds of prey.

We're there any animals that you hated working with?

Fish were pretty boring as I said you do a lot of cleaning windows and cleaning tanks from the top - I didn't had the passion I have now for aquariums so I kinda didn't like working there.
But I loved the reptiles, we had all kinda snakes and lizards - Rattlesnakes - Cobras - anacondas - its a lot of action.
The thing is you always do stuff were you either catch yourself in the middle or after it go - THE FUCK AM I DOING UP HERE?!?! Like you clean the environment of the wild goats and its high up its early in the morning a bit frosty and you go... uh better not fall here.

Bird of pray are so hard to work with and requires a very good understanding of the actual animals, they are very sensitive and its so hard to get them breeding.

MORTALCOIL · « **Reply #57 on:** July 30, 2012, 10:14:05 AM »

Quote from: Raymondo on July 30, 2012, 08:48:32 AM

Is it common for zookeepers to marry the animals they take care of?

It does but it doesn't last: see Alex23. It's textbook for this.

Tito24 · « **Reply #58 on:** July 30, 2012, 10:56:01 AM »

Bindare_Dundat · « **Reply #59 on:** July 30, 2012, 11:07:08 AM »

Quote from: Stark on July 30, 2012, 07:39:33 AM

Tell you a great story which happened before I started as a zoo keeper, we had a salt water croc, it was very very big and fat - they get quite fat if they don't move much and are not put on a diet.

Like i said before most visitors have a very narrow minded and uneducted idea what animals are "supposted" todo, they cannot wrap their head around the fact that these animals live their, in their mind the animals are there to perform for them and at 18:00 Pm they pack their shit and head home.

So a female visitor was unhappy that the salt water croc wasn't moving - so she started throwing pennies at the crock, which the big boy didn't even feel.
She had her purse around her neck and it was dangling inside the enclosure when she was trying to throw more pennies.
Of course she didn't know the speed these crocs can move and that they can litteraly throw their upper body half of their size up in the air.

That fucking crock grabbed her handbag faster than she could react - WAMMMM - and she was hanging half way in and out - the crock furiously pulling and rocking.
She only survived because a zookeeper close by was keeping an eye on her and like any good zookeeper he had a knife and ZIPPPPPP!!!
cut the handbag.
She had brusing and all but was unhurt - the crock ate the whole handbag like a big fuck you - Papers driving license money the whole lot.

Story would have been better if the croc performed a death roll and choked her unconscience with the strap of her bag.

Tito24 · « **Reply #60 on:** July 30, 2012, 11:08:10 AM »

wes · « **Reply #61 on:** July 30, 2012, 11:15:14 AM »

Quote from: Stark on July 30, 2012, 10:10:22 AM

Fish were pretty boring as I said you do a lot of cleaning windows and cleaning tanks from the top - I didn't had the passion I have now for aquariums so I kinda didn't like working there.
But I loved the reptiles, we had all kinda snakes and lizards - Rattlesnakes - Cobras - anacondas - its a lot of action.
The thing is you always do stuff were you either catch yourself in the middle or after it go - THE FUCK AM I DOING UP HERE?!?! Like you clean the environment of the wild goats and its high up its early in the morning a bit frosty and you go... uh better not fall here.

Bird of pray are so hard to work with and requires a very good understanding of the actual animals, they are very sensitive and its so hard to get them breeding.

I have 9 aquariums...........I love the fishkeeping hobby.

Keeping fish since the late 1987 off and on.

Good thread for a neo-nazi Starkster! LOL

Tito24 · « **Reply #62 on:** July 30, 2012, 11:16:59 AM »

Dr Dutch · « **Reply #63 on:** July 30, 2012, 11:54:12 AM »

Quote from: syntaxmachine on July 30, 2012, 11:49:37 AM

Somebody's never been to Africa!

I thought the non-human would prevent this one.....never underestimate getbig though.

Roger Bacon · « **Reply #64 on:** July 30, 2012, 01:22:09 PM »

Quote from: Tito24 on July 30, 2012, 11:08:10 AM

Please, keep them coming.

What's the story behind this uniform?

Stark · « **Reply #65 on:** July 30, 2012, 01:24:31 PM »

Quote from: P.I.P on July 30, 2012, 01:22:09 PM

Please, keep them coming.

What's the story behind this uniform?

Fechten glaub ich

dr.chimps · « **Reply #66 on:** July 30, 2012, 01:25:42 PM »

Quote from: P.I.P on July 30, 2012, 01:22:09 PM

Please, keep them coming.

What's the story behind this uniform?

Heydrich was actually a fencer/saber guy. Very Teutonic.

Nails · « **Reply #67 on:** July 30, 2012, 01:27:01 PM »

ever catch a female coworker with her fingers in her mouth, checking out the zebras cock

Dr Dutch · « **Reply #68 on:** July 30, 2012, 01:28:31 PM »

This thread´s supposed to be about Stark the Zoo Keeper. Why does it always end up in nazis or homosexuality.........

Stark · « **Reply #69 on:** July 30, 2012, 01:46:02 PM »

Quote from: dr.chimps on July 30, 2012, 01:25:42 PM

Heydrich was actually a fencer/saber guy. Very Teutonic.

actually quite common in burschenschaften.

TonyAlva · « **Reply #70 on:** July 30, 2012, 01:51:23 PM »

Quote from: Stark on July 30, 2012, 09:55:52 AM

lol fair enough...but my question remains... are german women in general all manipulative c*nts with dark corrupt souls and hearts made of stone or is my co-worker unique among german women in that regard , this is a serious question!

The Abdominal Snoman · « **Reply #71 on:** July 30, 2012, 03:43:12 PM »

Quote from: Stark on July 30, 2012, 07:39:33 AM

Tell you a great story which happened before I started as a zoo keeper, we had a salt water croc, it was very very big and fat - they get quite fat if they don't move much and are not put on a diet.

Like i said before most visitors have a very narrow minded and uneducted idea what animals are "supposted" todo, they cannot wrap their head around the fact that these animals live their, in their mind the animals are there to perform for them and at 18:00 Pm they pack their shit and head home.

So a female visitor was unhappy that the salt water croc wasn't moving - so she started throwing pennies at the crock, which the big boy didn't even feel.
She had her purse around her neck and it was dangling inside the enclosure when she was trying to throw more pennies.
Of course she didn't know the speed these crocs can move and that they can litteraly throw their upper body half of their size up in the air.

That fucking crock grabbed her handbag faster than she could react - WAMMMM - and she was hanging half way in and out - the crock furiously pulling and rocking.
She only survived because a zookeeper close by was keeping an eye on her and like any good zookeeper he had a knife and ZIPPPPPP!!!
cut the handbag.
She had brusing and all but was unhurt - the crock ate the whole handbag like a big fuck you - Papers driving license money the whole lot.

That is awesome. But why wouldn't some sort of greeter make sure people understand that they are invading on the animals home and that most of the time they just rest etc? I use to go to the San Diego zoo and it seemed around every corner, they were educating the public on the animals.

Tapeworm · « **Reply #72 on:** July 30, 2012, 03:50:27 PM »

Was Buddy right? Do retards really like the zoo?

Kwon_2 · « **Reply #73 on:** July 30, 2012, 04:31:09 PM »

Quote from: Stark on July 30, 2012, 01:52:15 AM

Fire away

So what prison were you a guard at? San Quentin?

Big Chiro Flex · « **Reply #74 on:** July 30, 2012, 08:06:48 PM »

Literally thought this thread was gonna be about Stark's former career as a warden in an American prison. Oops.