i'm curious wiggs, do or did you prefer porn to the whores?
also, how many different whores have you fucked? if you don't mind me asking
btw, i can relate to what you're saying dude, and my thing is that i can't fucking stand emotional closeness, so fucking whores, watching porn, or picking girls up is somehow "easier"
and if i do start to get "involved" with some female i quickly drive her away somehow
Yes, I prefer porn to whores although I said earlier this year I quit whores. Yes, I'm sure it's me defending myself from getting emotionaly close with someone so I'm not hurt or put myself in a position to get hurt. And I'm sure that stems from my divorce with my wife and how tough that was. This is a lingering problem I didn't see as a problem because I never thought about the reasons why I was behaving in a certain manner, I just did cause it satisfied one of my most basic human needs....pleasure and that was the fastest car to get to my destination, momentary increase of dopamine production...Meanwhile, I hurt my wife, and many other girls I've dated since spliting. I didn't treat them like shit, that's not me. I would give them about 25% of me and it always ended very quickly. I'd quit calling, contacting etc...or when we were out, I'd subconsiously do things to not become emotionally close (as you've said you've done yourself). I guess if you really want to improve yourself, you have to be very honest and ask yourself some tough questions, that only you know the answers to. If people are content with living that way, good for them but no doubt it' unhealthy and unless you and the female meet purely for the purpose of fucking and that's it no emotional contact, you're going to have to be able to give yourself 100% BUT, I know most guys even myself say keep some percent back so a bitch doesn't hurt you. I've seen it numerous times here. This is not good. Yes, you learn lessons and know signs of concern to look for from your past relationships, but you shouldn't punish your mate for something someone else did. It's not fair and you wouldn't want a female to do it you.
Anyway, not resolving following my words made me shut down, stay alone, looking for only sex. So I did the whores and I did the porn. I can't say I'm miserable, I'm fine, but I be alot happier not for having a woman in my life, but for not letting something rule me, and being able give 100% of myself and know that I left nothing on the table in order to make a relationship work. How many guys can say they do this? Not that many I gather. We all have our rucksack of unresolved issues we carry and it grows larger in every relationship. Most feel it's too painful to resolve, so they continue to carry them and can't function effectively in relationships. Very few, get to root and try to pull it and any weeds around it. Well, that's what I'm doing, cause I've let some good ones get away.
MELTDOWN
