Have you left a wife / got divorced? what to expect?

[steamboatwillie]

Get out before you have kids. If things are this bad now they are only going to get worse. If you think she wants all your time now think about how bad she will be if you have a baby. To top it off you'll have alimony if you divorce after the kid.

When I hear stories like this I feel blessed. Give half of what you have and move on.

Yeah...she would be unbearable with a kid and she doesn't want to work so is have to work 16 hour days and come home and listen to what a piece of shit I am for not bring around more. 

[lovemonkey]

Yeah...she would be unbearable with a kid and she doesn't want to work so is have to work 16 hour days and come home and listen to what a piece of shit I am for not bring around more. 

dude wtf? kick her out immediately and blame yourself for getting into this mess in the first place. What kind of diabolical bitch did you manage to marry? She doesn't wanna work, really? Makes my blood boil just reading it.

[lovemonkey]

gh15 would advise you to walk from this typical americano whore.

I guarantee you that this woman is holding the pussy hostage at this point as wel.

Am I correct?

If so, run do not walk out of that mess.  Once they start using sex as a pawn, don't play the game.

Very true. Once sex becomes a mere advice to manipulate ones partner, the sex life IS OVER.

[Big Chiro Flex]

Uberman says its ok to cold-cock a woman if she forgets her place. The only good thing he has ever said before.

[Tito24]

cold cock, cuckold?

[Big Chiro Flex]

cold cock, cuckold?

X2

[Radical Plato]

Give an example of an argument and how it would go.

Woman: You're a pathetic weak piece of shit, I have no idea why I married you, you have a small dick, no prospects, a slovenly body, bad breath and no conversation skills.  That's why I'm thinking about banging your best friend.  What do you think of that?
Man: But, I love you, what can I do to make you feel better.
Woman: Well, if you were a real man I would ask you to suck my pussy and fuck me good and hard the way I liked and make me cum real hard, but you're not, you have a small dick, no prospects, a slovenly body, bad breath and no conversation skills.  That's why I'm thinking about banging your best friend.  What do you think of that?
Man: But I can change, please don't shag my best friend - I Love you.
Woman: Your pathetic, here I am telling you what a piece of shit you are, and all you can do is tell me you love me, you can't even stand up to a woman, I've had enough, I'm leaving to go fuck your best mate. What do you think of that?
Man: Please don't leave, Please - I love you.

Getting the drift - She really is a good woman though, I really love her  

[LetItRock]

By reading your responses, you got yourself one clingy woman who wants to get pampered every time. Believe me, gym is not your main issue. If you have some other hobbies like coin collecting or beer bottle collecting or whatever she will get insecured and will make a fuss.

That's why she wants kids in the hope that you will solely cocentrate on her and kids.

Ask yourself this, can you revolve your world around her and her only? It is not like die for her but still..

If you cannot, tell her openly, you still love her but you have life outside of her too.. See whether she can compromise. Do trial runs without kids for about 3 months if she's willing to try. And then see how it goes..

If she is not willing to compromise, cut her loose without regrets...

In the end, marriages are compromises; how much each of you willing to sacrifice for each other.

[steamboatwillie]

What exactly are you fighting about and what do you mean by you both are so different?

We seriously fight about everything.  How to load the dishwasher, fold towels, what I can and can't watch on tv.  She wants me home at all times, doesn't want me to have friends, and thinks I'm a poor excuse for a man because I would like a damn hour to myself everyday to workout.  She has lost all motivation to do anything...this girl used to be fun...we had a blast, and now all she wants to do is watch her shows and eat fucking cookies while I sit quietly by her side.

[Big Chiro Flex]

Good advice by everyone.

If it doesn't work in the end, you should probably just try to PIITB while she's sleeping. Go out like an Alpha, with guns blazing.

Godspeed!

[Ronnie Rep]

What the fuck did you get married for?  Seriously.  I was in one miserable relationship once in my life, and I vowed never again.  I'm married now, and not to be a homo, but she's literally my best friend.  We have the same likes, and enjoy the same topics of conversation.  Throw in the fact shes hot and I'm set.  You should have never let yourself get pressured into that situation man.

This! Sex gets old no matter how hot she is,being friends is the most important thing! Communication!

[steamboatwillie]

you should have taken counseling prior to marriage

if she has ever told you that she no longer loves you consider the relationship over

We had counseling with her preacher before we got married....we even abstained the last 4 months of our engagement (i know, I'm a schmuck).  She says she loves me...right before going off on me.

[bike nut]

Our biggest issue is that I have a life outside of us and she doesn't.  She refuses to take care of herself or find a hobby or an activity where she can socialize.  She won't go out with our friends and won't let me without holding it over me for weeks.  She also wants a baby ASAP, and while I'm not against it, I'm not willing to have one now because our situation is so bad.  We have had sex 4 times in 2 months, and now she wants to threaten me by saying she's not going to give me any if I don't quit the gym.  Not that I care anymore, the times we do she just lays there.

She's fucking someone else.....

Move on, life is too short.

[steamboatwillie]

How deep in this gym thing are you?  For starters, you do NOT have to eat a certain amount of meals a day, you do NOT have to train 5 days a week or even 4 to remain in top shape, you do NOT have to eat certain foods and limit yourself.

I'm 288 with 11% bodyfat, it does take a shit tin of work to progress at my level....but its more about the fact that I love everything about it, its my passion.

[hardgainerj]

She's fucking someone else.....

Move on, life is too short.

i dont think he will

[Krankenstein]

Our biggest issue is that I have a life outside of us and she doesn't.  She refuses to take care of herself or find a hobby or an activity where she can socialize.  She won't go out with our friends and won't let me without holding it over me for weeks.  She also wants a baby ASAP, and while I'm not against it, I'm not willing to have one now because our situation is so bad.  We have had sex 4 times in 2 months, and now she wants to threaten me by saying she's not going to give me any if I don't quit the gym.  Not that I care anymore, the times we do she just lays there.

I find it hard to believe these weren't issues prior to the marriage.  That you are someone that let themselves get "talked" into getting married.  Seek counseling first.  Then, if that doesn't work, just stop showering after the gym or shit your pants and throw them in the wash or any other things you can do that will make HER leave and you looking like the good guy

[Thespritz0]

.

It is a short time and we did rush things.  I'm 30, she's 28...she wants kids right away....things were going well, we got married after dating for a year and a half.

^^
GET OUT, GET OUT NOW, thank all of us later but DO NOT have a kid... Imagine yourself being a kid in a split-up family, and it will sicken you.  Leave, get your own place, get a new cell phone/number, hopefully she will be so embarrassed she will not even contact you.  Do NOT sell yourself out for ANY girl wanting you to stay out of the gym...

[Butterbean]

3. Let her threaten.  Who cares. Just go about your business as usual.

1. Explain to her that the gym is tied to your health.  Mentally and physically speaking.
 
2. It sounds to me she wants to have a baby for the sole reason that she may think it will force you under her control.  It seems that its the lack of control that she has issues with.  She wants more control over you than she currently has.  This is not fair.  Don`t have a baby.  Ask her point blank what her intentions are.
 
3. Let her threaten.  Who cares. Just go about your business as usual.

4. If she completely changed from before the marriage, tell her you are worried about her physical and mental health as the change is so profound.  Encourage her to get a complete physical check up and to go to a psychologist.  You may consider both going to a counselor.  If she won't go, it may be helpful for you to go alone.
 
5.  Does she say to you that you "suck as a man" and are a "piece of sh*t?"  Calmly tell her that she needs to conduct herself in a more respectable manner if she wants you to listen to what she wants to say. 
 
You could really benefit from reading "Love Must be Tough," in which the main premise is that if you allow yourself to be treated like crap, the other person will continue to treat you like crap and not respect you. 
 
Your woman should read "His Needs, Her Needs" by (somebody Harley [ I can find the full name if you want] ).  It explains the top 5 needs of a man including having an attractive spouse, sex, and how important it is for a man to want to come home to a nice relaxing atmosphere (also lists women's top 5).
 
 
You are not alone in having a bad first year or two in marriage.  "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman is an excellent book and was a huge part of saving many marriages.
 
6.  Don't rely on her to use birth control.  You should be the one responsible for using it, just to be sure.

7.  Would she go to the gym with you?

[steamboatwillie]

1. Explain to her that the gym is tied to your health and your health should be considered the most important thing in your life, which it no doubt is.  Mentally and physically speaking.

2. It sounds to me she wants to have a baby for the sole reason that she may think it will force you under her control.  It seems that its the lack of control that she has issues with.  She wants more control over you than she currently has.  This is not fair.  Don`t have a baby for this reason (don`t have one for any reason in my opinion).  Ask her point blank what her intentions are.

3. Let her threaten.  Who cares. Just go about your business as usual.

1.   Here's how that arguement goes, "...and steroids are good for your health how?".   I should have never let her in to that part of my life (well, I should have not married her, but you know what I mean).  That's one of the first things she reaches for when my opinion is obviously more correct than hers.

2.   I think you're right on this.  I also think she sees a baby as someone who can't leave her like her father, most of her close friends, and eventually me.  

3.   On this, do you mean don't leave, but continue on as I sew fit hoping that she will leave?

[da_vinci]

Lol.. Seems like she's on the way to take all you manliness from you, don't let that happen man. And psycho tendencies, low self esteem I'd say. Rly, marrying after a year and a half? Only woman I've considered as a possible partner in that way was a gf of 6years or so. Having a kid sooner than 4years in a srs relathionship is a huge gamble imho (I'd call it insanity actually). Don't get involved any deeper in this shit or you'll be a very miserable fella after 5more years, very very miserable... Ffs it seems that you need to find out EXACTLY what you want out of a partner or you'll always finish in a situation similar to this one.

[Howard]

when you get divorced expect to be financially miserable

marriage can be good or bad i guess

divorce is always bad in the west

If you don't have kids , divorce is pretty simple and doesn't cost a lot.

[240 is Back]

if there's doubt,


get out.

[lovemonkey]

If there's doubt, put it in the butt.

[Howard]

1. Explain to her that the gym is tied to your health and your health should be considered the most important thing in your life, which it no doubt is.  Mentally and physically speaking.

2. It sounds to me she wants to have a baby for the sole reason that she may think it will force you under her control.  It seems that its the lack of control that she has issues with.  She wants more control over you than she currently has.  This is not fair.  Don`t have a baby for this reason (don`t have one for any reason in my opinion).  Ask her point blank what her intentions are.

3. Let her threaten.  Who cares. Just go about your business as usual.

Read this again SB wille and let it sink in. Good advice from TA

[steamboatwillie]

Would it be possible to train in the morning when she is sleeping??? I had a similar situation on my hands a few months back.. She didn't tell me to quit training... but she wouldn't shut the fuck up after I came home from the gym in the p.m.. So as any devoted husband would, do i compromised. Marriage is 60/40... (to me anyway) and if she isn't following those rules... RUN!!!

I proposed this, but she doesn't want to goto bed earlier and says that its the same thing.