Asians are not monolithic. There are the spotted Asians, and there are the striped Asians.
The spotted Asians mate by lottery, wherein males with the tiniest periwinkies win the amorous affections of the comeliest females. The reason is in accord with physical causality: apparently, a lack of natural endowment is attributed to low androgen levels by either birth or accident, resulting with the least membered members of spotted males sublimating their somatic inadequacies in focused study, professional drive, and economic motivation – making them highly attractive to the spotted females and more likely to keep them happy over time. Subsequently, spotted Asians are very productive.
In contrast, the mating ritual of striped Asians is as fascinating as it is bizarre. Their wooing ritual is as follows, which deserves to be explained in some detail. A nubile striped female is selected by a wizened, striped Mandarin, and is fed a meal of ginseng, royal jelly, a mysterious chalky substance, and green tea to induce a trance-like state of sexual arousal. A fertile striped male is selected from a group of males based on the size of his right testicle. He is slowly introduced to the female from a circle of other males, which line the perimeter of the courtship arena.
Very much like the spotted Asians, the striped Asians are not equipped with generous, baby-making dimensions. To compensate, the striped male Asians' famous ingenuity is deployed by the chosen male in a violent, two-handed clutch of his scrotum, which he has been dutifully pounding with open-hand slaps hours beforehand to produce considerable swelling and redness. He then proceeds to squeeze his testicles into the shape of a penis much larger than his own. This ruse, sometimes called the “cunning of Chan,” excites the female (whose vision has been partly shielded by the old Mandarin), causing increased blood flow to her vaginasaki, which becomes increasingly moist, warm, swollen, and firm.
At this point, the crafty striped male negotiates a variation of the old switcheroo by running full speed toward the female, letting go of his squeezed, inflated, and tubular-shaped scrotum, and quickly replaces it in his hand with his erect, striped dragon stick, which he inserts into the female tout suite. During fornication, the female, who has been driven mad by the lead-up foreplay, is so sex-craved that she doesn’t notice the discrepancy in size between the fake scrotum-penis and the actual, striped beef-whistle. The male continues on with the deception while plugging away, but adds another layer to his artful legerdemain; namely, he places his arms over her eyes in an affectionate “embrace” to make sure she does not get distracted, and enticed, by the other striped males in the circle who are furiously beating off with even more swollen nutsacks than the winner. Subsequently, although very bright, striped Asians are horny bastards, and less industrious than their spotted cousins.