(Forthcoming in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, May 2013)
Diagnostic Criteria for "Nice Guy" Syndrome
(I) qualitative impairment of ability to interact with women, as manifested by at least three of the following:
(A) marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body posture, and gestures to regulate social interaction when surrounded by women
(B) little to no sexual relations with women in the context of a non-ascetic lifestyle
(C) extreme and excessive submissiveness to women, including repetitive apologizing for behavior, opening doors for women, and throwing of one's coat over puddles such that women may walk over it in order to avoid getting wet
(D) having the username 'dj181' on one or more bodybuilding fora
(II) possession of a deep-seated, bubbling-to-the-surface hatred of women
(III) possession of at least two of the following beliefs:
(A) the belief that one is a genuinely nice guy
(B) the belief that nice guys lie oneself are inherently less attractive to women
(C) the belief that women naturally pursue "assholes," "douchebags," etc. to one's detriment
