Thursday, January 24, 2013Developing
: Sen. Dianne Feinstein introduces a sweeping ban on military-style weapons and high-capacity clips & Sec. of Defense Leon Panetta signs the order opening combat jobs to women.Yesterday Congressional Republicans tried to grill Hillary Clinton. They ended up getting burned on their own grill. Rand Paul told Hillary that “Had I been president... I would have relieved you of your post.” Rand, America isn’t screwed up enough to make you president. You’re lucky Kentucky is screwed up enough to make you Senator.
Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson was the only one who got a rise out of Hillary, and that was only because he actually stood out as even dumber than the rest. Later, Johnson boasted that he got the best of Hillary because he “got under her skin.” Well Ron, if your point is that you’re even more annoying than the other idiot Republicans, you’re exactly right. Was that the point of a Congressional hearing, Senator Johnson—to “get under the skin” of the Secretary of State? There’s a great use of the government that the Founding Fathers gave us.
Hey Ron, you know how else you can get under someone’s skin? Popping your gum, sucking your teeth, or kicking the back of her seat on an airplane. It’s not a difficult thing to do.
John Boehner says that President Obama’s plan is to “annihilate” the Republican Party. Here’s a little advice for John Boehner—somebody who drinks as much as you do shouldn’t even TRY to pronounce the word “annihilate.”Fox News’ crackpot in-house shrink Dr. Keith Ablow says that President Obama wants to control guns because he was “abandoned again and again” as a child. Brilliant. Dr. Ablow is to psychiatry what Dr. Pepper is to brain surgery.
Obama wants gun control because he was abandoned as a child? So I guess that the people who hoard automatic weapons and ammunition in their fortress homes are the ones who had happy childhoods!
Finally, police in Florida tasered a naked man who entered a home, pooped, and began masturbating when the homeowner pulled a gun on him. This is how crazy life has become—you hear that story and your first thought is “Thank God he didn’t eat anybody’s face.”