Marriage...oh brother

[BIG ACH]

I am still on my first wife. I married very young. I was 20 years old when I married my wife and we had already lived together for more than a year by this time. My wife was a year and a half older than me....so I married an older woman.

I don't know what magic makes a good lasting relationship because there is some mystique involved. My wife and I were two of the most unlikely people to marry and stay married all these years for a number of reasons which I won't go into here. The one thing both of us were on the same page about was commitment and being real about who we were. We didn't go into this longtime relationship with the idea we could change each other to suit our needs.

Over the years, we have seen many friends marry and divorce. It is sad. Divorced people are never the same as they once were. In the case of our friends and family who have divorced, there was nothing outrageous in their relationship, which is to say no one was beating the other one up or the like.

Maybe I got lucky. So many guys say they married the consummate bitch. My wife is an angel. I know the difference too because my mother was the woman no man should marry if they want any peace in their life after marriage.

I suspect physical attraction clouds folks judgment. A physically beautiful person is not necessarily the person you should commit the rest of your life too. A wife is not a "trophy" but a partner for life.

Wise words!

[MP]

I am still on my first wife. I married very young. I was 20 years old when I married my wife and we had already lived together for more than a year by this time. My wife was a year and a half older than me....so I married an older woman.

Can't even fathom getting married that young. (at least for me). How old are you now?

[#1 Klaus fan]

yeah but if its your favourite food, the greatest song ever and a movie that never gets old

then that my friend is the dream right there

why keep watching b movies when you can always be watching a block buster

Why marry though? The question remains that no-one dares to ask it seems. Let's face it, it is something that women want, fantasize about (wedding) and benefit from. Why are men so eager to marry? Marriage is bullshit.

[Primemuscle]

Wise words!

Thanks Big Arch.

I suspect I am one of the oldest dudes on Getbig. While age does not necessarily make someone wise....so I am definitely no wizard....it can speak from a point of personal experience. If my experiences offer some light and guidance to others who come after me, this is very gratifying.

My wife and I have two grown children who have successful adult lives, thanks or no thanks to their dad and mom. Sometimes they ask us for guidance through a particular issue and probably more times then we know, they do not. Still, I hope that our experiences, especially mine have taught me things which I can now share with those of you who are less experienced than me.

Just so you know, I am a small part Cherokee Indian. We believe in sharing the wisdom of our forefathers.

[Primemuscle]

Can't even fathom getting married that young. (at least for me). How old are you now?

My wife and I will celebrate 49 years of marriage this October. I turned 69 years of age late last month.

I've read that it is not advised for people to marry young. I did and it worked out great. My son married his wife when he was 22 years old. They just celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. My daughter married her husband when she was 19 years old. This summer, they celebrated their 18th wedding anniversary. Both are happily married.

On a side note, all of us lived with our eventual marital partners for awhile (about a year) prior to marrying. Given the success of our marriages, I conclude that there is merit to living together prior to marriage. While the sex can be amazing, living together through thick and thin, illness and good health and whatever comes up during that time can be really telling if you are in it for the long haul.

[#1 Klaus fan]

In my opinion a fair question: I don't know what kind of person I'm going to be in 10 years. I like to keep as honest as possible and treat other people well. How can I sign a legal social contract with someone for life when I can't in any way predict what kind of person I will be in the future?

[Primemuscle]

In my opinion a fair question: I don't know what kind of person I'm going to be in 10 years. I like to keep as honest as possible and treat other people well. How can I sign a legal social contract with someone for life when I can't in any way predict what kind of person I will be in the future?

What you ask is at the basis of commitment. You probably won't be the same person you were ten years ago and neither will  be your partner. There is the risk, to be sure, that in ten years neither you no your partner will still be compatible. However, if you are committed to each other and you don't totally go off in different directions, you will still find a common ground which added to your love of each other and your experience together is enough to get you through the hard times.

There are no knights in shinning armor nor are their beautiful maidens to cater to your every whim. Once people come to accept the reality of making two different personalities coming together to develop relationship they can both enjoy most of the time, the better marriage or even civil unions will be.

[Big N]

It's bodybuilding related since a lot of fellas on here have been through that route. When it comes to a prenup, can you only have one before a marriage certificate or after is acceptable too. Or either way it does 't matter, a prenup could be signed at anytime during a marriage.

-Discuss

[240 is Back]

m

[MORTALCOIL]

Marriage: two people trying to solve together problems they wouldn't have encountered had they been single.

[BigCyp]

It's bodybuilding related since a lot of fellas on here have been through that route. When it comes to a prenup, can you only have one before a marriage certificate or after is acceptable too. Or either way it does 't matter, a prenup could be signed at anytime during a marriage.

-Discuss

The clue is in the word stud.

[bradistani]

how well do prenups stand up in court though ? i once read about a woman who still scored very big after her divorce despite a prenup being in place

[bigmc]

how well do prenups stand up in court though ? i once read about a woman who still scored very big after her divorce despite a prenup being in place

this

pre nups dont offer the full protection in law

[Primemuscle]

how well do prenups stand up in court though ? i once read about a woman who still scored very big after her divorce despite a prenup being in place

The whole idea of a prenuptial agreement is a pathetic reflection on today's litigious society and the sorry state of marriages today, which appear to come and go with the weather.

[Anabol]

True LOVE doesn't need any rituals like marriage, marriage contract ...
If she askes fo it -> fuck and leave her.

[bigkid]

Prenups are effective if they're done right.    Both sides have a lawyer, makes sure its done far enough in advance that neither side can say they were rushed or felt pressured.  For me, it was about protecting my home and the money I had accumulated up to this point.  Also, I made her waive alimony and setup a payment plan in the event it didn't workout.

[HTexan]

If a girl pays part of the rent, then she isnt common law wifey, right?

[bigkid]

If a girl pays part of the rent, then she isnt common law wifey, right?

Only in common law states.

[Mr Anabolic]

Prenups are effective if they're done right.    Both sides have a lawyer, makes sure its done far enough in advance that neither side can say they were rushed or felt pressured.  For me, it was about protecting my home and the money I had accumulated up to this point.  Also, I made her waive alimony and setup a payment plan in the event it didn't workout.

It's far better not to get married at all.  There is always some crafty lawyer out there who can circumvent almost any pre-nup.  It's just not worth the risk and financial ramifications.  Marriage is a legally binding financial arrangement... it has NOTHING to do with love.

The number one contributing factor to divorce, is marriage.  Dumb men will always get married... smart men don't.

[Mr Anabolic]

If a girl pays part of the rent, then she isnt common law wifey, right?

Depends on which state you are in.  Even if you just live with her for short time you can be liable.  Cali used to be 2 years or longer.  Not sure about the other states... they vary from 2-10 years.

Shacking up aside, make sure you never share an address, credit card or a bank account.  She can come after you for monetary damages in court if you do.

[bigkid]

  Dumb men will always get married... smart men don't.

LOL. Better tell that to guys like Trump, Buffet, Gates, Zuckerberg etc

[Natural Man]

Marrying is improving your odds of survival making an alliance with someone else and his/her family first and foremost.

[Anabol]

Marrying is improving your odds of survival making an alliance with someone else and his/her family first and foremost.

Words of the weak

[Mr Anabolic]

LOL. Better tell that to guys like Trump, Buffet, Gates, Zuckerberg etc

Yes... they are dumb.  How much did Trump lose when he got divorced?  Same thing is going to happen to hoodie boy... naïve idiot.

[Natural Man]

Words of the weak

well for most beta males that s just the way it is. Now for rich alphas who pay everything for women it's another matter. But we all know only 1 % of males are alphas, while the rest are betas pretending to be alphas.