Author Topic: DR ASKED WHAT IM ON  (Read 4719 times)

B_B_C

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Re: DR ASKED WHAT IM ON
« Reply #25 on: September 27, 2013, 01:50:09 AM »
If you dont want to tell the doctor anything you should go to a Vet
c

B_B_C

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Re: DR ASKED WHAT IM ON
« Reply #26 on: September 27, 2013, 01:52:30 AM »
One day, a man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I uess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "don't do that. There's a computer at the chemists  that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs €10.00."
The fellow decides he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the chemists. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and puts in €10.00. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:  You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he wanked  into the mix.

He went back to the chemists, finds the computer, poured in the sample and puts in the €10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out the following analysis:
Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And...If you don't stop masturbating, your elbow will never get better.
c

Dago_Joe

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Re: DR ASKED WHAT IM ON
« Reply #27 on: September 27, 2013, 08:58:18 AM »
Docs under obamacare will now start asking if you have firearms and possibly ask about your neighbors, if thru have.

They already do!!  I have been asked by several doctors if there are firearms in my home or if I have access to them.  Ostensibly under some kind of mental health screening by my general doc and several times by my head shrinker!!!  Fuck this Marxist state!! I'm leaving as soon as I can find a job in a southern state.  Prince Cuomo can kiss my gun toting ass and all my tax dollars goodbye!!  Fucking commie!!

POB

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Re: DR ASKED WHAT IM ON
« Reply #28 on: October 01, 2013, 10:28:38 PM »
One day, a man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I uess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "don't do that. There's a computer at the chemists  that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs €10.00."
The fellow decides he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the chemists. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and puts in €10.00. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:  You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he wanked  into the mix.

He went back to the chemists, finds the computer, poured in the sample and puts in the €10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out the following analysis:
Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And...If you don't stop masturbating, your elbow will never get better.


Lol, bravo ;D