What is the most retarded thing(s) you have seen in the gym

[dmorgan41178]

When I was joining my old gym, i was doing cardio on a stari climber located next to a couple of bikes. there was an older guy doing cardio with the towel drapped over his head.. this was back during the election count in florida. so i lean over and say hello and what do you think of all this? he says nothing. so i wait a sec and repeat myself. he nevers looks over or acknowledges me. im like WTF. so im like fuck it. i go down to the front desk getting a shake telling the girl the story. im like man im just trying to be nice atleast he could speak. shes like oh hes deaf. i was like dumbass me. lmao

[Ozzy]

This topic rules.

1. The guys that sound like they're blowing a blast of steam out of their mouths every rep. SSSTT SSTT

2. Guys that yell for no reason, when doing light weight. I understand that you need motivation for the heavier stuff, but come on. 225 on the bench and you're yelling YAAAARGH?

3. The shadow boxers mentioned earlier. And (not racist, just pointing out an observation) they are always black.

4. The guys that just stand around watching everyone, taking 20 minutes on a set of one particular exercise. You've all seen em. They just sit on the machine and watch other people work out.

5. Mentioned before, the random guy that comes up to watch you do a heavy set, then shakes his head after you're done, and says a random (albeit positive) comment.

6. PHANTOM SPOTTER

7. The guys working out next to you talking about how they'll never touch creatine, man. I don't do that steroid stuff.

8. The guys that stare at you when you mix some Cellmass after a workout, then talk to each other about what that stuff could have possibly been.

[HowieW]

I was training on the road  in Alabama and noticed 5 ladies ,  sitting on 2 treadmills. I was going to use the one next to them but was told to move over a couple at least. I realized finally that they were having some kind of bible study/prayer deal going on. They gave me this look like I was crazy to be useing the far end treadmill for cardio and not prayer 

[drkaje]

I'm gonna have to stop reading this thread. It's getting me pissed, LOL!

STINKY PEOPLE.

I don't mean sweat from working out, I mean people who smell like pure ass before working out.

If any of you smelly futhermuckers are reading this..................

People can tell/smell the difference between sweat and BO!!@!!!!!
Don't kid yourself. Cologne, aftershave, right guard or even left guard will not do a damn thing about body odor. Take a shower/bath before the gym. If your job causes that much perspiration during the day, grab a quick shower before working out.

[sarcasm]

I'm gonna have to stop reading this thread. It's getting me pissed, LOL!

STINKY PEOPLE.

I don't mean sweat from working out, I mean people who smell like pure ass before working out.

If any of you smelly futhermuckers are reading this..................

People can tell/smell the difference between sweat and BO!!@!!!!!
Don't kid yourself. Cologne, aftershave, right guard or even left guard will not do a damn thing about body odor. Take a shower/bath before the gym. If your job causes that much perspiration during the day, grab a quick shower before working out.

theres a couple of dudes like that in my gym one of those dudes always used to want spots on presses, this dude smelled like he was standing in fertilizer, fucking nasty.

[phyxsius]

theres a couple of dudes like that in my gym one of those dudes always used to want spots on presses, this dude smelled like he was standing in fertilizer, fucking nasty.

I saw a stinky porky pig yesterday. I couldn't even stand the smell.. The cologne? I used to spray on my nose than let him use on his body.. He just need to get the hell outta there.

[Bluto]

the weekend arms warrior...

haha this guy brought his own fucking stereo to the gym i swear to god!!! hahaha. fucking big ass stereo and put it another bench. and all this guy does is train fucking biceps, not even triceps, just biceps. he takes the 110-120 lb dumbells, and sways back and forth using as much leverage from all his other body parts. this white guy always wore his gay bandana, the guy is like 40 years old, fat and out of shape.
that has to be the funniest thing i have seen in the gym. bring your own stereo to the gym? wtf!

that fucking rule

[nestor]

someone at my gym screams like a woman having a baby everytime he lifts but........the sad part about it its that he lifts shit of weight i always wonder how come he has not been kick out yet??

[onlyme]

Alright I told this story before one here but once more.  First off I know my way around the gy m.  Been training since 1975 or so and seriously since 79'.  I've trained with the biggest names in the industry and at gyms all over the country, China and Mexico.  Maybe 200+ different gyms.  Mostly of course when I traveled. 

Well here is one for the books.  Just happened within a couple years.  I was doing incline I think.  Anyway, there was 315 onthe bar I think and you know when after you do a couple sets you have to sometimes puch the plates back together.  Well I did.  But, in my hast I was behind the bar and took my hand and pushed the plates together.  Well my fucking chest was to close I guess and my nipple got pinched between the plates.

I only had on a t-shirt.  Man I yelled so loud the whole gym just stopped doing everything.  Not one person was moving.  Everyone was just looking me cussing and grabbing my tittie.

I yelled out "My fucking nipple!"  I kept rubbing it while telling everyone that came up to me what happened.  Well then someone says Keith I think you're bleeding.  I look down and my shirt had a bunch of blood on it.  I thoght what the fuck and I lifted my shirt and a few guys were there and they said "dude your fucking nipple is hanging, you cut it off."  I looked down and a piece the size of a small eraser was barely hanging on.  I put a band-aid on it then went home.

Later that night as I was playing with my titties I felt that hanging nipple.  I went into the bathroom. andlooked at it in the mirror.  It looked weird and wasn't sure what to do.  Well I ended up decided to cut it off (the hanging part).  So I iced the shit out of it.  I then took my nailclippers.  I was so fucking scared.  Anyway, I ended up after sevral minutes just doing it and cut the hanging part off with the clippers.  I swear to god I had a wet towel in my mouth and was yelling my brains out.  The the brainiac I was I didn't want it to get infected so I poured some peroxide on it.  FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK, that hurt too.  I swear if there was a camera on me I could have easily won America Funniest Home Videos.  Anyway in short it healed fine.  You can tell some of it is missing but no big deal.  Still have feeling and everything.  Anyway, that is my cutoff nipple story

[weedoutheweak]

Alright I told this story before one here but once more.  First off I know my way around the gy m.  Been training since 1975 or so and seriously since 79'.  I've trained with the biggest names in the industry and at gyms all over the country, China and Mexico.  Maybe 200+ different gyms.  Mostly of course when I traveled. 

Well here is one for the books.  Just happened within a couple years.  I was doing incline I think.  Anyway, there was 315 onthe bar I think and you know when after you do a couple sets you have to sometimes puch the plates back together.  Well I did.  But, in my hast I was behind the bar and took my hand and pushed the plates together.  Well my fucking chest was to close I guess and my nipple got pinched between the plates.

I only had on a t-shirt.  Man I yelled so loud the whole gym just stopped doing everything.  Not one person was moving.  Everyone was just looking me cussing and grabbing my tittie.

I yelled out "My fucking nipple!"  I kept rubbing it while telling everyone that came up to me what happened.  Well then someone says Keith I think you're bleeding.  I look down and my shirt had a bunch of blood on it.  I thoght what the f**k and I lifted my shirt and a few guys were there and they said "dude your fucking nipple is hanging, you cut it off."  I looked down and a piece the size of a small eraser was barely hanging on.  I put a band-aid on it then went home.

Later that night as I was playing with my titties I felt that hanging nipple.  I went into the bathroom. andlooked at it in the mirror.  It looked weird and wasn't sure what to do.  Well I ended up decided to cut it off (the hanging part).  So I iced the shit out of it.  I then took my nailclippers.  I was so fucking scared.  Anyway, I ended up after sevral minutes just doing it and cut the hanging part off with the clippers.  I swear to god I had a wet towel in my mouth and was yelling my brains out.  The the brainiac I was I didn't want it to get infected so I poured some peroxide on it.  FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK, that hurt too.  I swear if there was a camera on me I could have easily won America Funniest Home Videos.  Anyway in short it healed fine.  You can tell some of it is missing but no big deal.  Still have feeling and everything.  Anyway, that is my cutoff nipple story

That is insane

[Mr. Intenseone]

Alright I told this story before one here but once more.  First off I know my way around the gym m.  Been training since 1975 or so and seriously since 79'.  I've trained with the biggest names in the industry and at gyms all over the country, China and Mexico.  Maybe 200+ different gyms.  Mostly of course when I traveled. 

Well here is one for the books.  Just happened within a couple years.  I was doing incline I think.  Anyway, there was 315 onthe bar I think and you know when after you do a couple sets you have to sometimes puch the plates back together.  Well I did.  But, in my hast I was behind the bar and took my hand and pushed the plates together.  Well my fucking chest was to close I guess and my nipple got pinched between the plates.

I only had on a t-shirt.  Man I yelled so loud the whole gym just stopped doing everything.  Not one person was moving.  Everyone was just looking me cussing and grabbing my tittie.

I yelled out "My fucking nipple!"  I kept rubbing it while telling everyone that came up to me what happened.  Well then someone says Keith I think you're bleeding.  I look down and my shirt had a bunch of blood on it.  I thoght what the f**k and I lifted my shirt and a few guys were there and they said "dude your fucking nipple is hanging, you cut it off."  I looked down and a piece the size of a small eraser was barely hanging on.  I put a band-aid on it then went home.

Later that night as I was playing with my titties I felt that hanging nipple.  I went into the bathroom. andlooked at it in the mirror.  It looked weird and wasn't sure what to do.  Well I ended up decided to cut it off (the hanging part).  So I iced the shit out of it.  I then took my nailclippers.  I was so fucking scared.  Anyway, I ended up after sevral minutes just doing it and cut the hanging part off with the clippers.  I swear to god I had a wet towel in my mouth and was yelling my brains out.  The the brainiac I was I didn't want it to get infected so I poured some peroxide on it.  FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK, that hurt too.  I swear if there was a camera on me I could have easily won America Funniest Home Videos.  Anyway in short it healed fine.  You can tell some of it is missing but no big deal.  Still have feeling and everything.  Anyway, that is my cutoff nipple story

LOL Hahahahahahahahahahahaha thats one of the funniest stories I think I've ever heard and I've been around as long as you..LOL.


Okay, here's my story. I've always been known as extremely strong, even now. When I was 17 I was training at Bill Pearls gym in Pasadena. Me and my partner were doing side laterals and back then you went heavy on everything. For our 5th and last set he was spotting me for 6 reps with the 105's on laterals. On the final rep, I came down too close to my d**k and smashed it and my left nut. After I passed out from shock, my partner took me to the emergency room where I was diagnosed with smashed urethra.....the nut was going to be fine in a few hours (thanks for asking). I had a catheter inserted for about a week so I could pee. The worst part of the story was the nurse was ugly as hell. Unlike Onlyme, I couldn't play with my dick because it hurt and was numb.....the catheter and the thought of the ugly nurse didn't help either.
When I came back to the gym, I wasn't greeted with a "Joe, how ya doing" it was nothing but laughter (including Bill himself).....I couldn't help but to laugh right along!

Thats my d**k smashing story!

[tommywishbone]

There is one old lady who walks on the treadmill wearing a plastic poncho and a big bath towel wrapped around her head like a turbin. To top it off, she carries this walking stick and has it slung over her shoulder most of the time. I've even walked up to her, looked up at the ceiling and asked, "we supposed to get rain?". but she just stares straight ahead with a crazy look on her face and says nothing.

There is also a guy that swims laps while wearing tight camo trunks and a scuba mask with a snorkel. It is some funny sh#t!!!

[Bluto]

Haha that some funny shit guys. I'm hitting the gym today, I'm glad I won't be doing either incline or side laterals, getting paranoid here 

[phyxsius]

Good stuff in the gym.. Who dare to say going to the gym is boring?

I just came back from the gym today and I saw a guy doing squat with 300 lbs by going down only 10 inches. Scream like a bitch getting raped and annoying as hell.

[NCNPC29]

The most retarded thing I've seen would have to be someone getting kicked out of the gym and their contract torn up for using chalk... needless to say I changed gyms the following week.... funniest thing I've seen was my friend slapping this guy off a life cycle... lolololol... this guy was spreading rumours about my friend so he confronted him and ended up slapping him off the bike... Looked like it was straight out of Saturday Night Live... lolol

[dawakaman]

HAHAHAHA onlyme, that's the second time i read your nipple-story.
OMG, this time it was even funnier...I'm still laughing while typing this LOL!

Peace
D

[RUDE BUOY]

once saw a guy on a treadmill going so fast not able to keep up get tangled up on his feet and come crashing down on the treadmill and get thrown off shit aint that a bitch??

[DIVISION]

this is an interesting part of the story

What's interesting, Stella, is that I still haven't seen your navel.

What's up with that?




DIV

[Unknown8471]

last year while i was training for foot ball this one kid ( it was his first day of training in his intire life) tried to bench 245lbs. the kid was skiny, and i told him that he would probly kill himself if he tried it. he told me he knew exactly what he was doing. some how i knew it was going to end bad so i wached him. thank god i was rong he was never abel to get the bar off the rests. it was a lot of fun waching him try he made all theas crazy faces and noises. evryoen in the entire gym wached him and lafed. i dont think it will ever be forgoten ither.

[gymrat1]

The most retarded things I've seen people doing in the gym are:
1. Sitting on the Nautilus machines and not exercising.
2. Exercising in the sauna/steam room.
3. Hanging out by the pool, and staring at me with mean faces.
4. Talking or ß!+©#!|\|& a lot.
5. Shadowboxing in a non-boxing gym.
6. Head-stands in a non-yoga gym.
7. Talking on cell phones for extended time periods.
8. Using the sauna heater like a urinal.
9. Sagging pants/shorts.
10. Doing anything in the pool but swimming.
11. Wearing sunglasses indoors/after dark.
12. Carrying a chair around as if the carrier were glued to the seat.
13. Bouncing basketballs anywhere but on the court floor.
14. Wearing baseball caps backwards.
15. Sporting encyclopedias of tattoos.
16. Having long hair/earrings/both. (Men/boys only)
17. Wearing shorts/short skirts outdoors in cold weather.
18. Having a dumb or passé haircut.
19. Wearing a tee/sweatshirt with fraternity/sorority letters.
20. Wearing heavy clothes or rubber/plastic suits in the sauna to sweat off pounds.

[gymrat1]

Another retarded thing some people do in the gym is, they seemingly spend the whole day there.

[HRDCOR]

We had this guy once come into the gym with Bike shorts on (you know the one,s, skin tight licra style ), which is nothing exciting realy , but dig this , he had the arse cut out of them and his are pokeing out , and he started to do squats !!!!!! then when told to change or f**k of he went down stairs and got into normal track pants !!! Go figure !!!
Retard !!

[MassInMass]

Guys using thirty-five lb plates...

[ARMZ]

  I have two stories. I was at the front desk checking people in and an older guy came in with no pants on. I thought for sure he'd see himself in a mirror and realize. About 30 mins passed and another member came to me and told me he's working out with no pants just wearing a shirt. I really didn't want to deal with this. Turns out he had Alzheimer's.
 
  Next one.  Some guy was trying to figure out a machine, he was all tangled up in the thing, so after a few minutes went by he asked me how to use it. I told him it wasn't a workout machine, its for the painters to paint the high walls.

[triple_pickle]

Some guy was trying to figure out a machine, he was all tangled up in the thing, so after a few minutes went by he asked me how to use it. I told him it wasn't a workout machine, its for the painters to paint the high walls.

f***ing hilarious