How Can You Help An Alcoholic?

[BikiniSlut]

Believe me....I know the question is very general.

I just basically want to get a discussion started and learn about people's experiences with alcoholism.....whether they have suffered or had loved ones suffer.

I also know I can only control myself.

But someone I deeply love is suffering from it and I want to help so badly, and if I can't I want to learn and know so I can try to empathize. I know I truly can't empathize but a little bit of know goes a long way with me.

[Quickerblade]

Believe me....I know the question is very general.

I just basically want to get a discussion started and learn about people's experiences with alcoholism.....whether they have suffered or had loved ones suffer.

I also know I can only control myself.

But someone I deeply love is suffering from it and I want to help so badly, and if I can't I want to learn and know so I can try to empathize. I know I truly can't empathize but a little bit of know goes a long way with me.

Have you seen the movie "Flight" its about this.

[BikiniSlut]

Have you seen the movie "Flight" its about this.

No...do you think it will help?

[Novena]

There are organizations that are comprised of family and friends of substance abusers. 

[Quickerblade]

No...do you think it will help?

Watch it, its about being a alcoholic and alcoholism. I think you find something good in it.

download it off piratebay. Its not about airplanes and flying upside down, that was used to sell tickets, its about a alcoholic.

[pedro01]

Believe me....I know the question is very general.

I just basically want to get a discussion started and learn about people's experiences with alcoholism.....whether they have suffered or had loved ones suffer.

I also know I can only control myself.

But someone I deeply love is suffering from it and I want to help so badly, and if I can't I want to learn and know so I can try to empathize. I know I truly can't empathize but a little bit of know goes a long way with me.

Funny that -  cause I just sent the following Skype to a guy I cut in on my business 2 and a half years ago...

[03:23:15] Me: I'd like a meeting 8am tomorrow morning, Starbucks at Big C Ekkamai.
[03:23:51] ?: OK!
[03:25:09] Me: I would appreciate it if you could not drink before this meeting
[03:26:25] Me: To give you a heads up - I dont think this is going to work out any more. I think your drinking has gotten to the point where you cant function at the capacity needed to perform the role as a CTO
[03:26:38] Me: So the meeting will be to discuss an exit strategy for you
[03:27:16] Me: So I have my ideas of how that would work and I suggest you bring your own ideas to the table too
[03:27:33] Me: but if I get one whiff of booze at the meeting, I'm out of there and you can take or leave the offer I bring

The only reason is for an 8am meet is 'cause then there's a chance he wont drink ahead of time.

I am fucking sick of chasing around after his drunk ass. Doing his job when he's too 'fuzzy' to perform and dealing with him on the phone when he's pissed.

So how to help an alcoholic? Fuck 'em - they don't want help. For some reason they think they are getting away with it. Thinking no-one actually notices the fact they stink of booze or can't add 2+2 half the time.

This thing about them hitting rock bottom - I think that's what it takes to be honest. So fuck supporting them - just let them on their way down

[BikiniSlut]

I went to my first al anon meeting last Thursday.

Pedro....I see what you are saying but I am completely emotionally invested in this person. It's not as easy as saying "fuck it". I've shed a lot of tears the last few days.

However I do realize that I have to let go and will do that. It's just so damn hard.

I have this fantasy in my mind that he will go into recovery all of a sudden and come out and we can work through this together. I know it's not even close to realistic.

I want to understand it better so I can try and figure out what he is thinking. It's probably futile but being a scientist I have this need to "research" things.

[pedro01]

You can't figure out what he is thinking because he is not thinking.

He is physically addicted to alcohol.

That means the addiction is driving him, it's not really him any more.

It's fucked up but does he even admit to having a problem?

I know how my meet tomorrow will go. He'll promise to change ya de ya de ya - but you know what - that's just the addict trying to prolong a 'normal' life of addiction. Reality is every word from his mouth will be to placate me. He doesn't want to stop.

And really - what can you do with an addict? Am I supposed to go round to his place every lunchtime to check he's not been on the sauce? Is that a productive way to run a business? Or any relationship for that matter?

Time comes when you have to throw in the towel & leave them to it.

[Wez]

I am an alcoholic. Haven't had a drink in eight years. It is a horrible problem that takes over your entire life and everyone around you included. You can support and encourage but you can't fix. The person has to first admit it and then realize there is no other way out. I am here if you need to bounce anything off. Ken

[BikiniSlut]

Yes Pedro.

I just want to make sure I have exhausted all possible ways to help him before I give up completely.

I've already separated myself from him....I just want to see if there is anything else I can do.

He's a binge drinker....he has an emotional addiction.

[anabolichalo]

i dont think you can help ppl who refuse to help themselves


all they gotta do is lay off the booze really

[BikiniSlut]

I am an alcoholic. Haven't had a drink in eight years. It is a horrible problem that takes over your entire life and everyone around you included. You can support and encourage but you can't fix. The person has to first admit it and then realize there is no other way out. I am here if you need to bounce anything off. Ken

Oh my God I'm so sorry to hear that Ken.   I'm so proud of you for staying clean.

And thank you for sharing something so personal. We may be hidden behind these online personas but it is very personal nonetheless.

You ARE loved.  

[Wez]

Oh my God I'm so sorry to hear that Ken.   I'm so proud of you for staying clean.

And thank you for sharing something so personal. We may be hidden behind these online personas but it is very personal nonetheless.

You ARE loved.  

Thank you.....I made it through. Here to help.

[BikiniSlut]

i dont think you can help ppl who refuse to help themselves


all they gotta do is lay off the booze really

Do you really think "it is just that easy".  

You are right though Halo...I can't help him if he refuses to help himself.

[anabolichalo]

Do you really think "it is just that easy".  

You are right though Halo...I can't help him if he refuses to help himself.

i dont think it will be easy

but it does boil down to that simple thing

[anabolichalo]

hope this helps

http://www.openbible.info/topics/alcohol_abuse

[BikiniSlut]

hope this helps

http://www.openbible.info/topics/alcohol_abuse

Thank you Halo. I'm not sure if it will but I will definitely take a look at it.

[anabolichalo]

Thank you Halo. I'm not sure if it will but I will definitely take a look at it.

if he's a Christian he can not ignore this avalanche of alcohol discouragement

[BikiniSlut]

if he's a Christian he can not ignore this avalanche of alcohol discouragement

The funny thing he is. Quite devout as well.

Although I wonder if he would think I was trying to "guilt" him into quitting.

I don't think he would....I just want to approach the situation cautiously because I don't want to push him to drink more.

[anabolichalo]

The funny thing he is. Quite devout as well.

Although I wonder if he would think I was trying to "guilt" him into quitting.

I don't think he would....I just want to approach the situation cautiously because I don't want to push him to drink more.

just smack him around with bible verses


your best bet


or get him to a priest who will do this

[pedro01]

Yes Pedro.

I just want to make sure I have exhausted all possible ways to help him before I give up completely.

I've already separated myself from him....I just want to see if there is anything else I can do.

He's a binge drinker....he has an emotional addiction.

You can help when he genuinely asks for help. Not when he asks for help just to get you off his back.

Until that time, there's not much you can do.

My business partner was doing a crappy teaching job out here earning a pittance. He did a lot of great stuff for me and we got him out of that job and onto a profit share paying 10x the money.

And you know what - when he had to pitch up at a school each day, he'd do so sober. When he had the freedom of working from home, he would wake up, have a coffee, then start on the booze.

So to me it was a huge opportunity to make a lot of money. To him it was a huge opportunity to spend more time pished.

And you know what - he genuinely thinks that people don't know he's drunk and he also thinks he can do his job just as well drunk.

Nothing you can do until they know they have an issue.

[hrspwr1]

Get the fuk away from them. Alcoholics and addicts write their own script and you are volunteering to be an actor in their play. They will only change when the pain becomes unbearable for them and it may or may not ever happen.
 Get on with your life.

[Quickerblade]

Get the fuk away from them. Alcoholics and addicts write their own script and you are volunteering to be an actor in their play. They will only change when the pain becomes unbearable for them and it may or may not ever happen.
 Get on with your life.

I have to agree with this quote.

you cant be invested in someone if there a bad investment, you have a good heart, but a fuck up is a fuck up.
I have had friends with drug issues, they promise you they will stop blah blah same thing, I cut them off, I have my own life to consider, fuck babysitting 25-40 yr old.

I have a gambling addict aunty, came to my house crying for money to help fund her daughters wedding. Mother fuck her daughter and her wedding. If you cant afford a wedding then do it cheaply, these young girls think there kim kardashians and im OK magazine thinking im funding a $6000 photographer.

Bikini, don't surround yourself with this negative shit, I saw your thread on the prayer request, just pray, offer help, the rest is up to the addict. Truth is where all wired differently, he finds peace in a bottle. Find positives, his not a heroin addict.

anyway you cannot help him, he has to look at his life.

[BikiniSlut]

Get the fuk away from them. Alcoholics and addicts write their own script and you are volunteering to be an actor in their play. They will only change when the pain becomes unbearable for them and it may or may not ever happen.
 Get on with your life.

Right here....this is it and I know it. 

My heart has no logic unfortunately....thank god my head does.

WEZ......can I ask your opinion on this with you being a former alcoholic?

[anabolichalo]

Right here....this is it and I know it. 

My heart has no logic unfortunately....thank god my head does.

WEZ......can I ask your opinion on this with you being a former alcoholic?

brutal