When my daughter was born, I won. My wife agreed with me that we would tell her a more realistic version of Santa. It's not some fat guy who breaks into the house and leaves you an iPod. Santa represents the spirit of giving to others and helping your fellow man. We told her that people like to make up neat characters to help them tell a story, and Santa helps people understand why giving is good, but that there is no real man who lives at the north pole making barbie dolls for all the good little girls in the world. Know what? It went over very well with my daughter. She appreciated it...she's said so. Kids can be pretty smart. She's said stuff like "hey dad, you know if Santa were real, it wouldn't make sense. Because how come those kids in africa are always hungry. Why wouldn't they just ask Santa for food? If he was real, he'd bring it. I guess there really is no real santa". She told me this at age 5. Kids grow up a lot faster today than when I was young.
But I also caught a lot of shit from other parents/teachers/family about being a killjoy.
So I let my wife win with my son. He believes the whole Santa-brings-you-presents-inside-your-house thing. I have a standing agreement with my daughter that when my son stops believing, it better not be because she told him. If I find out, no more christmas presents for her.
Honestly, I hate having to lie to my son about it. Christmas is a wonderful time, and it has a good message for us all. But santa is about commercialization; I wanted my son to really appreciate what the spirit of the day was all about. When I was a kid, I remember my folks trying to get that message into my head; it didn't stick. All I cared about was that some fat guy would get into the house and bring me Castle Grayskull. I nodded to my family "oh yeah, I hope good things happen to poor people", but I didn't really care. I just cared about getting presents, and that's what the media told us kids to expect.
I just think I got it right with my daughter, and wrong with my son. The good news is, I'm going to wear down the wife this year about it and I think she'll crack.
And I agree with Wiggs' comment - the lie does undermine the role of a parent. I know it sounds heartless, but I truly believe this. I don't want to be in the habit of having my kids wonder if I'm telling the truth or just telling them a fairytale.