Yesterday I had a nightmare ..
"I was a different person, had hair, I lifted weights, was slightly older, married. Socially, I was really awkward and when I went out to parties I always clinged to my wife like a piece of toilet paper stuck on a shoe due to fear of talking to actual people or other men hitting on her.
It was very difficult for me to relate to normal human beings so to mask it, I lifted weight and took roids, got buff and tried being amusing by making weird funny feces.
My escape became an online forum for bodybuilding, but very fast, I got a virtual reality check if you will. I seemed to annoy everyone, could not relate, was negative and miserable, basically projecting all my shortcomings and frustrations on everybody else. There were some characters I really admired and looked up to, like idols even .. one was a hunk who called himself The Son of God. The other two were a pair of really thick built fellows who called themselves Big, MC and Cyp. Now these two really fucked me up to the point I found myself curled up under the desk in the fetal position desperate to find a retort that would save my dignity. In short ... they raped me. Daily.
Another was a handsome fella who went by THE EFFERVESCENT (I admit I had a crush on him..blush). But both my idol and my crush, along with those two witty ones, took turns at sodomizing my ego into submission until I made up an excuse to leave that place but could not resist and came back disguised as a simpleton. The brutal treatment continued and the mental golden showers I received became part of my daily routine."
I swear to god it was a nightmare within a nightmare. I woke up scared shizzless and smoked a cigarette shuddering at the images of the dream. I looked for a pic to illustrate my dream of sorts and this is what I found..
