I've never smashed heroin before but I've smoked it along with opium and other poppy extracts way back in the day. There's a different high than pills probably because of the different alkaloids in different preparations. I tried out of curiosity and thankfully never enjoyed the high. But I can see how alluring it is.
If I didn't get so much nausea from opiates I can really understand why people like it. You get killer euphoria but I don't like the inebriated type of high, never did. And then because of seeing friends and family get hooked on opiates, I swore them off outside of acute injuries like when I broke my hand or if I get dental work done like extractions, etc.
I used to watch my dad hit that shit in his veins. Him and the other "street kids" he hung out with didn't realize how important it was to use new rigs. They were pretty stung out, just sharpening them and running them under tap water to clean them off (don't worry, they wiped it down with their fingers after too... ugh). I had lots of bacteriostatic water because my friend bought a flat, so I set them up with that and boxes of slin pins because I get them free. They would just cook it up in a special spoon they got from a headshop, mix the H, draw into syringe and bang it back once they've secured a good vein. It's insane to watch. It's like a ritual. I can see it becoming SUPER habitual and kind of reflected on how I prep to shoot gear. But when I pin gear there's no high. These guys fall back in their chair and try explaining the immense rush of euphoria, but they usually can't talk because they're so immersed in euphoria and start nodding off.
I obviously like to feel good as much as the next person, but I don't know if I ever want to feel THAT good. That's why people chase the high. When you know how good you can feel it must really destroy you inside trying to get to that level again. I am pretty much too scared to use Tylenol 3s and Demerol even, just because I've seen how addicted family members have become. I don't know if I'd ever get that addicted if I tried using opiates habitually so I just stay the fuck away. I know people with very strong wills who've just had a few unfortunate life circumstances compound and lead to crushing addiction. I can tell that no one intends on becoming strung out. It's just that things compound so quickly and you get so stressed. The only way to take the edge off is to get high and go down that shitty path. People look just one step ahead but not far enough to see the hell they're moving towards. That scares the shit out of me. Being lost like that. That's why I empathize with addicts so much. I know they can be shitty and totally lose their soul, but at one point they were just like us.
