first of all tldr, wall of text, etc
Over the years I have most of the time been a total dick on here, outing peoples private info, threatening, being a total ass. I have been banned multiple times and no doubt deserved it. My brain has been a mess for many years, but I wont put all the blame on my mental health issues, however, facts are facts, I did not think or act like a normal person a lot of the time. That led to me doing some really stupid shit on here. Over the last couple years, especially with such a great woman in my life I have worked extremely hard on my mental health issues, especially in the areas of nutrition and counselling. I have always taken my meds, always. But it takes more work than just meds.
I have been super calm in real life for an extended period of time now and believe the work I am putting in is paying off along with a great support system. This last bit on getbig when bikinislut and I got into it and I tried to out her info, I felt like a total douchebag the whole time, not doing it cause I wanted to but cause I felt I had to maintain the old "avesher/disturbia" act. Thats not me aymore. Im nearly 50, have basically straightened my shit out and wanna keep it this way. And in the end bikinislut made me look like an idiot along with pulling the greatest prank ever with the kijiji tv ad. She owned me and I got it good.
To newmom (runningmom?) goes the biggest apology. I was at my batshit worst when I said things to her that should never be said. Hope she comes back here fulltime and kicks me in the nuts. i deserve it. To Ron. ITs your site. I clearly broke the rules and I am truly sorry. I hope you can find it in you to let me have this last final chance. I love getbig and its characters and want to stay, but stay as a positive contributor with a little good natured bickering thrown in. If you dont want me on here, well, that is your choice as you own the board. I hope you let me stay. Shizzo and booty, I just cant apologize to you two. Even in a better state of mind I still dont like either of you. I will never bother you, but I wont like you. To anyone else I have offended, you have my sincerest apology (even Grant).
To onemorerep, I appreciate greatly how you have had my back (hmmmm maybe i should rephrase that).
And to those who still wanna hate me, shit, I totally understand why. I look back and hate myself.
Some of you might think "Oh here goes bipolar Josh again". No, this is how I am now in real life and have been for an extended period. I like feeling like this and work hard every single day to maintain it. Yup, i have off days, but hey, everyone does and thats what I realize. I know tomorrow is a new day and I stay positive. Ive gotten through some hellish stuff in my life.
Anyways, sorry for the drawn out blah blah blah.
Josh
edit: I also think uncle junior should be let out of timeout but thats merely my opinion