Do couples married for more than twenty years still have sex?

[no one]

Here's my issue then, if I try to draw parallels to yours.

My wife is decidely not a fitness professional. She doesn't even like working out. Thankfully, she's maintained a very slim physique just due to genetics. Which of course I appreciate.

But, as my body fluctuates, she becomes more or less conflicted. When I'm puffy and heavy, she doesn't find me overly attractive. Yet, the prospect of intimacy is met with more favorably, shall we say.

When I'm below 10% BF, give or take, she finds me more attractive, but is more hesistant towards intimacy (in her words, she feels more self-conscious around me). This outweighs the attraction she feels to the abs, which she likes.

Perhaps if she were like your wife, and grew to own her own body, she may change her lens on her body. I certainly tell her how hot I think she is daily. I don't think she believes me though.

So I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. And it's not like when I'm full on 15+ BF that I get it 4-5x/week. It's still 2-3x/month, at best. When I'm lean, that drops to 1-2x/month. The rub is that the extra supplementation I use does not help.

It is what it is. I love her and she's my best friend. I'd like to do her a lot more than I am now, is about my only gripe in our relationship; otherwise, we are perfectly compatible personality wise. We've talked about it a lot and I've tried being nice, being accommodating, all that fun stuff. Doing more chores around the house; doing the cooking; giving more massages; doing more of the stuff she likes in bed instead of what I like. Hasn't paid off. It's more like this is now the new bar I've set and it's the new "maintenance level" of attention I have to pay to her to get what I used to get when I was lazier about things.  

I have zero doubts about her faithfulness. I know you guys love to say that's what's going on. Not in this case. Because it's been like this for well over 15 years together...always the same consistency so it's not like things have gone up or down.

She just doesn't have that gear in her. As she approaches menopause in the next decade, this is not going to get any better.

I guess I just take what I can get and learn to live with it. It's not like I'm waking up this year surprised by it all. It's always been this way, and I suppose I can be blamed for settling on this front instead of finding a great woman who also has the same drive I do.

I can't afford a divorce just for the prospect of more intimacy with another partner. That's financially irresponsible. And I wouldn't humiliate a good friend like that. I'm too loyal to good friends, for better or worse.

Wow. I'm a beta with women. This post proves it.

Oh well, I'll go make some money or lift a shit ton of weight and go try and feel alpha somewhere else! LOL! And if not, there's a six pack of beer in the garage fridge that helps me convince myself I'm alpha anyways! LOL!

this is serious 'no one' for a minute speaking.

man been reading your posts but quoted this one to get the ball rolling. you and I are quite a bit alike- I'm not emotionally open- I don't say nice things or show a lot of affection. I do nice things. that's how I show I care. because I'm emotionally detached sex has always been a high priority for me in a relationship because it's the only time I open myself up emotionally. it's my outlet cause I'm not built to show it the way most people can for some reason. I say outlet because I need to let my partner know that I am emotionally attached to them even though I might not 'show' it. i say need to let my partner know because it's a purging of some nature for me. so I understand your priority on sex. plus add in our hormones and biological drives on top of that.

what you gotta understand bro, and I don't know if you do- I get the sense you don't- you gotta understand that you are not the problem here. the way 'you look' at different times is not the problem here. your wife is the problem here. and you can't fix that. you can't fix her. she needs to fix herself. her aversion to being physical with you is not normal nor is it fair to you. the way you look is an excuse to not be physical which makes it, in a way, your fault, not hers (she likes the abs but is intimidated). she's not taking ownership for her lack of desire. so you then think ok, well maybe the problem is me. maybe I can change something. right? right. the problem isn't you bro.

there is nothing that you are going to do by yourself that is going to change a thing for the better. your in a tough spot here. if she's content with the way things are she'll resent you wanting to change that. it'll be your fault all over again that things aren't good enough. see how that works?

I've been down this road before. it doesn't end happily. what happens is resentment creeps in. it's unspoken and unsaid by both parties and it's like a cancer. it spreads out from the original issue into all aspects of the relationship. I already get the feeling there might be some of that already starting to manifest itself.

does it get better? I dunno. I always ended the relationship before we tore it do far apart that friendship was impossible. in fact to this day I have great relationships w my exs. several have told me I'd be the first person they'd come to if they were ever in trouble or needed help. then again I was never married. that adds a whole new dimension to things. but what are you going to do- live life unhappy cause you don't want to divorce? that's not noble. that's two people who aren't going to be friends in a few more years.

man I feel for you 100%. and btw there nothing 'beta' about loving your wife so don't for a minute think so.

[Automation]

if the woman has a golden pussy the guy will keep plowing it

I think this is the best halo ramble to date. I will be using this phrase myself!

[Bertha Butt]

if the woman has a golden pussy the guy will keep plowing it

Goldfinger?

[Bertha Butt]

But, as my body fluctuates, she becomes more or less conflicted. When I'm puffy and heavy, she doesn't find me overly attractive. Yet, the prospect of intimacy is met with more favorably, shall we say.

When I'm below 10% BF, give or take, she finds me more attractive, but is more hesistant towards intimacy (in her words, she feels more self-conscious around me). This outweighs the attraction she feels to the abs, which she likes.

I think this problem is beyond your toolbox. If she has a problem with her self image, theres nothing in the world you could do to change that. Only she can.

That said, if this problem would be in our marriage, Phreak would give me this choice: either go with me to the gym to work on your own body so you don't have to feel self consious, or don't go to the gym and stop worrying/complaining. He would wrap it up in nicer words, though. And I respond well to these plain black and white choices.

[anabolichalo]

Goldfinger?

a golden pussy is a pussy that maintains silky smoothness of the walls throughout the years and secretes a more viscuous type of pussy water during arousal, more slimy than watery if you will, to give an optimal balance between lubrication and friction of the cock and the walls. it is also aesthetically pleasing from the outside and lacks excess meat flaps

this is the golden pussy standard

[Teutonic Knight]

a golden pussy is a pussy that maintains silky smoothness of the walls throughout the years and secretes a more viscuous type of pussy water during arousal, more slimy than watery if you will, to give an optimal balance between lubrication and friction of the cock and the walls. it is also aesthetically pleasing from the outside and lacks excess meat flaps

this is the golden pussy standard

What standard is 'baby mama'  pussy aluminium one.

[Bertha Butt]

a golden pussy is a pussy that maintains silky smoothness of the walls throughout the years and secretes a more viscuous type of pussy water during arousal, more slimy than watery if you will, to give an optimal balance between lubrication and friction of the cock and the walls. it is also aesthetically pleasing from the outside and lacks excess meat flaps

this is the golden pussy standard

Thank you for this vivid explanation. Not very mouth or vag watering for my taste, as a very hetero female, but preferable to a gold painted mimsy.

[Wolfox]

Just fyi halo is spot on about the gina. Love the slimy vags...not the watery ones.

I love it when the mucus starts to drip down to her anus. It collects there.

[Ronnie Rep]

Just fyi halo is spot on about the gina. Love the slimy vags...not the watery ones.

I love it when the mucus starts to drip down to her anus. It collects there.

Watery pussy? Never been with a woman who was watery, you mean a squirter?

[_aj_]

You pups pipe down. The adults are trying to have a conversation FFS.

No one, good insights, and you are right in that if she doesn't have that within herself, it isn't going to be found.

I am fortunate in that I can always tell my wife with a straight face, "I am just trying to catch up to you!"

In the future, that may not be as effective.

[Wolfox]

this is serious 'no one' for a minute speaking.

man been reading your posts but quoted this one to get the ball rolling. you and I are quite a bit alike- I'm not emotionally open- I don't say nice things or show a lot of affection. I do nice things. that's how I show I care. because I'm emotionally detached sex has always been a high priority for me in a relationship because it's the only time I open myself up emotionally. it's my outlet cause I'm not built to show it the way most people can for some reason. I say outlet because I need to let my partner know that I am emotionally attached to them even though I might not 'show' it. i say need to let my partner know because it's a purging of some nature for me. so I understand your priority on sex. plus add in our hormones and biological drives on top of that.

what you gotta understand bro, and I don't know if you do- I get the sense you don't- you gotta understand that you are not the problem here. the way 'you look' at different times is not the problem here. your wife is the problem here. and you can't fix that. you can't fix her. she needs to fix herself. her aversion to being physical with you is not normal nor is it fair to you. the way you look is an excuse to not be physical which makes it, in a way, your fault, not hers (she likes the abs but is intimidated). she's not taking ownership for her lack of desire. so you then think ok, well maybe the problem is me. maybe I can change something. right? right. the problem isn't you bro.

there is nothing that you are going to do by yourself that is going to change a thing for the better. your in a tough spot here. if she's content with the way things are she'll resent you wanting to change that. it'll be your fault all over again that things aren't good enough. see how that works?

I've been down this road before. it doesn't end happily. what happens is resentment creeps in. it's unspoken and unsaid by both parties and it's like a cancer. it spreads out from the original issue into all aspects of the relationship. I already get the feeling there might be some of that already starting to manifest itself.

does it get better? I dunno. I always ended the relationship before we tore it do far apart that friendship was impossible. in fact to this day I have great relationships w my exs. several have told me I'd be the first person they'd come to if they were ever in trouble or needed help. then again I was never married. that adds a whole new dimension to things. but what are you going to do- live life unhappy cause you don't want to divorce? that's not noble. that's two people who aren't going to be friends in a few more years.

man I feel for you 100%. and btw there nothing 'beta' about loving your wife so don't for a minute think so.

Just take notice how no one uses "partner" when describing his own relationships. Never uses "her" or "she". Never "girlfriend". Gender is never alluded to and this is purposely.

Basically a confirmation of his faggetry. Way to out yourself. Always got the gay vibe from you.

[_aj_]

Just take notice how no one uses "partner" when describing his own relationships. Never uses "her" or "she". Never "girlfriend". Gender is never alluded to and this is purposely.

Basically a confirmation of his faggetry. Way to out yourself. Always got the gay vibe from you.

Wolfie, can you let it go ITT? For once in a long while, something useful is being discussed. After a fucking river of Joon and BS and their fucking bullshit, this is refreshing.

Take your jihad to other threads, please.

[Simple Simon]

Just take notice how no one uses "partner" when describing his own relationships. Never uses "her" or "she". Never "girlfriend". Gender is never alluded to and this is purposely.

Basically a confirmation of his faggetry. Way to out yourself. Always got the gay vibe from you.

Takes one to know one.

[Wolfox]

Wolfie, can you let it go ITT? For once in a long while, something useful is being discussed. After a fucking river of Joon and BS and their fucking bullshit, this is refreshing.

Take your jihad to other threads, please.

He's been outed. He's a fucking homo.

[anabolichalo]

Watery pussy? Never been with a woman who was watery, you mean a squirter?

the level of viscuosity of the pussy water varies

some have water juice, some have thicker more slimy sticky


the watery sucks, think about shower sex (not in that degree but similar)

[Simple Simon]

He's been outed. Has a fucking homo.

Do you have a problem with gay people?

[Wolfox]

Do you have a problem with gay people?

It goes against the teachings of the Tanakh.

[_bruce_]

What standard is 'baby mama'  pussy aluminium one.

 

[anabolichalo]

baby mama pussy is the gold standard


why do you think i still crave it everyday after 7 years of hitting it

[Shockwave]

this is serious 'no one' for a minute speaking.

man been reading your posts but quoted this one to get the ball rolling. you and I are quite a bit alike- I'm not emotionally open- I don't say nice things or show a lot of affection. I do nice things. that's how I show I care. because I'm emotionally detached sex has always been a high priority for me in a relationship because it's the only time I open myself up emotionally. it's my outlet cause I'm not built to show it the way most people can for some reason. I say outlet because I need to let my partner know that I am emotionally attached to them even though I might not 'show' it. i say need to let my partner know because it's a purging of some nature for me. so I understand your priority on sex. plus add in our hormones and biological drives on top of that.

what you gotta understand bro, and I don't know if you do- I get the sense you don't- you gotta understand that you are not the problem here. the way 'you look' at different times is not the problem here. your wife is the problem here. and you can't fix that. you can't fix her. she needs to fix herself. her aversion to being physical with you is not normal nor is it fair to you. the way you look is an excuse to not be physical which makes it, in a way, your fault, not hers (she likes the abs but is intimidated). she's not taking ownership for her lack of desire. so you then think ok, well maybe the problem is me. maybe I can change something. right? right. the problem isn't you bro.

there is nothing that you are going to do by yourself that is going to change a thing for the better. your in a tough spot here. if she's content with the way things are she'll resent you wanting to change that. it'll be your fault all over again that things aren't good enough. see how that works?

I've been down this road before. it doesn't end happily. what happens is resentment creeps in. it's unspoken and unsaid by both parties and it's like a cancer. it spreads out from the original issue into all aspects of the relationship. I already get the feeling there might be some of that already starting to manifest itself.

does it get better? I dunno. I always ended the relationship before we tore it do far apart that friendship was impossible. in fact to this day I have great relationships w my exs. several have told me I'd be the first person they'd come to if they were ever in trouble or needed help. then again I was never married. that adds a whole new dimension to things. but what are you going to do- live life unhappy cause you don't want to divorce? that's not noble. that's two people who aren't going to be friends in a few more years.

man I feel for you 100%. and btw there nothing 'beta' about loving your wife so don't for a minute think so.

confirm. Im the same way. Not overly lovey and it took my wife a year to pick up that I just DO nice things instead of talking aboit doing nice things.

luckily we both are on the same page sexually so its all good.

[phreak]

So I get this. As my wife has intimated in the past that she might feel self-conscious around me if I get "too good looking". But I called her on this when it seemed to be happening and she snapped herself out of it. She bluntly stated that she wants to be "the good looking one" in the relationship. That appears to be a woman thing. I am EXTREMELY appreciative of her physical assets and never miss an opportunity to talk to her about it. We laugh sometimes about how "difficult" her life is with her husband pawing at her 12 hours a day and gushing over her body.

Mostly, its about communication and making sure that you are heard. I do think that sometimes my wife (who is also approaching menopause age) does it more for me than for her.

Now that I have decided to go the "enhanced" route, it'll be interesting to see how this falls out. On one side, I am going to be enhancing the very things that she finds very attractive. On the other, as you say, there may be self-consciousness that'll settle in.

To split with somebody because they find you so attractive that they have trouble with their own self-image seems retarded, unless it becomes a real psychological disability.

Anyway, we should compare notes as we are not so far off from each other.

Interesting topic. I'm an ugly bastard, so I couldn't imagine my wife feeling self-conscious about me getting in shape. But she did, which was a great help in both of us getting in shape. Therein also lies the danger: when one of us fails, the other usually fails as well. When one gets body image problems, so does the other. The good thing is that we do it all together, we are both very analytical, and eventually we figure out where we go wrong and what to do about it. I do realize now that we are lucky to be this close. The more I read GB, the more I realize how rare this is.

And as you mention: What does going the 'enhanced' route do to your relationship? My little Bertha vaccilated a bit, but has decided to join me in that too. This is a big step, especially for a woman. And frankly, if it would have been a serious problem for her, I would stop being enhanced.

[Shockwave]

Interesting topic. I'm an ugly bastard, so I couldn't imagine my wife feeling self-conscious about me getting in shape. But she did, which was a great help in both of us getting in shape. Therein also lies the danger: when one of us fails, the other usually fails as well. When one gets body image problems, so does the other. The good thing is that we do it all together, we are both very analytical, and eventually we figure out where we go wrong and what to do about it. I do realize now that we are lucky to be this close. The more I read GB, the more I realize how rare this is.

And as you mention: What does going the 'enhanced' route do to your relationship? My little Bertha vaccilated a bit, but has decided to join me in that too. This is a big step, especially for a woman. And frankly, if it would have been a serious problem for her, I would stop being enhanced.

same thing here. When I succeed, she's succeeds. She's also joined me in being enhance, albeit at very, very light doses. She wants to look like an offseason Bikini competitor. It is rare. I'd say 90% of people I've met/know are not anywhere near that close with their spouse. Its more an arrangement of mutual benefits than true love.

all I know is that my wife pushes me to succeed where I normally would have given up, purely because I know if I fail, shell fail. Although its a double edged sword because I have to constantly talk hr out of making rash decisions with regards to gear. The mote progress I make the harder she pushes to keep up and vice versa. Its a wonderful thing to share a hobby with someone you love in this way.

[_aj_]

Interesting topic. I'm an ugly bastard, so I couldn't imagine my wife feeling self-conscious about me getting in shape. But she did, which was a great help in both of us getting in shape. Therein also lies the danger: when one of us fails, the other usually fails as well. When one gets body image problems, so does the other. The good thing is that we do it all together, we are both very analytical, and eventually we figure out where we go wrong and what to do about it. I do realize now that we are lucky to be this close. The more I read GB, the more I realize how rare this is.

And as you mention: What does going the 'enhanced' route do to your relationship? My little Bertha vaccilated a bit, but has decided to join me in that too. This is a big step, especially for a woman. And frankly, if it would have been a serious problem for her, I would stop being enhanced.

I think to a certain extent, we are positive reinforcers to each other, not negative. If I falter a bit, she'll come tell me her latest exploits, like how she made a Marine in her boot camp class puke, and that will get me off my ass. Since I have NEVER seen her falter, I don't know if I can do the same for her.

But, as I said before, the "enhancement" effect is unknown at this time. She already thinks that my abs are better than hers. Which is complete bullshit.

[phreak]

same thing here. When I succeed, she's succeeds. She's also joined me in being enhance, albeit at very, very light doses. She wants to look like an offseason Bikini competitor. It is rare. I'd say 90% of people I've met/know are not anywhere near that close with their spouse. Its more an arrangement of mutual benefits than true love.

all I know is that my wife pushes me to succeed where I normally would have given up, purely because I know if I fail, shell fail. Although its a double edged sword because I have to constantly talk hr out of making rash decisions with regards to gear. The mote progress I make the harder she pushes to keep up and vice versa. Its a wonderful thing to share a hobby with someone you love in this way.

I understand what you are saying: she never pushed me actively, her presence makes me want to push myself. The reason I started being less obese was that I wanted to be there for her - and not in a wheelchair - when she was old and needed me.

And true on the low dosages, the advantage there being that I'm on very low (325 mg/w) dose myself. So the push isn't that big. Plus she's lost more fat than me already. Yum!

[phreak]

I think to a certain extent, we are positive reinforcers to each other, not negative. If I falter a bit, she'll come tell me her latest exploits, like how she made a Marine in her boot camp class puke, and that will get me off my ass. Since I have NEVER seen her falter, I don't know if I can do the same for her.

But, as I said before, the "enhancement" effect is unknown at this time. She already thinks that my abs are better than hers. Which is complete bullshit.

For us it works both ways, and in equal measure. She gets a grip, I get a grip. I binge, she binges. Usually with a time lag of a few weeks.

What really does it for me is that she pisses women off in the gym. The more jealous they get, and the more the men ogle her, the better she feels, so the better I feel. According to her it also works the other way around, but I'm an unobservant man, so I don't see that I'm being ogled by gays or old women.