Author Topic: Every steroid users worst nightmare  (Read 5023 times)

Thteven

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Every steroid users worst nightmare
« on: April 08, 2014, 04:31:09 AM »
 You just shot up 250mgs of some of your 'boys' good ass test. You're on 2 grams of test a week in total. You're a little red and puffy and you got acne all over your back, but that ain't no biggie. You told your girlfriend/friends/family the weight gain came from the 'supplements' you got from Walmart. Told them your genetics were better. lol

 You're with your 'boo' on the way to the gym. The combination of a backwards cap, extra medium wife beater and baggy pants make you feel like a hip-hop star. The whole time in the car you feel like 2-pac on his way to a video shoot. You think other drivers are 'mirin'. You can't help but grin. You can't wait to show your 'honey' how hardcore you really are. With all the 'gear' you've been pumping in your ass, there's know way you can't make an impression. Besides, you don't expect anyone to actually be in the gym anyway. Except pussies. You got this. lol

 You and your 'girl' get out of your car and make your way to the entrance of the gym. You posture up. Expecting to be treated like God on a good hair day.

 Your heart sinks.

 Chalk dust. That's all you can think. Multicolored 45 pound plates. Your penis retreats inside of your abdomen. Squat racks. You think about leaving. Like, for good. You notice your girlfriend nipples are like raisins at this point. A knot forms in your throat. You can see her literally getting off, distracted by the sight of some drug free lumberjack-like bull hoisting atlas stones. You walk up to the counter. You ask for a protein snack. The employee ask you to speak up. You ask again. He's says no. "O.k.", you say quietly to yourself. As you turn back around you notice your 'boo' is gone. The knot in your throat grows larger.

 The place is packed. You notice a super hard and lean natural lifter bench pressing more weight than you would know how to count. He's got chalk all over him. He screams out on the last rep. You can feel yourself start to cry a little bit. You fight back tears and make your way over to the dumbbell rack. Time to show them how man you are. It's curl time.

 As you reach for the thirties, a large black man tells you that his little son wants to use those, so don't touch them. "Sure", you say under your breath and walk away. You start wandering around the gym looking for your 'girl, wiping away the occasional tear. You find her. She's talking with a chiseled natural black athlete. You finally have an opportunity to show off. You see a 135 pound barbell on the ground. You pick it up. Barely. You start to swing/curl it. horribly. "No dude, that's horrible form, try some lighter weight", the black Adonis tells you while he points at the little blue 20 pound dumbbells on the floor. Your 'girl' doesn't even know you exist at this point.
 
On the quiet drive home your 'honey' looks at you and says "I want black babies". You just pound your head against the wheel.

 

 

 
  

ProudVirgin69

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2014, 04:33:08 AM »
Wtf dude get out of my head!!! >:(

_aj_

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2014, 04:47:45 AM »
If somebody turned my basement gym to a CF "box" complete with "chiseled" 'grows, I would be clearing it with the 870P.

Shockwave

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #3 on: April 08, 2014, 04:56:19 AM »
If somebody turned my basement gym to a CF "box" complete with "chiseled" 'grows, I would be clearing it with the 870P.
ah, good old remington pump.....

anabolichalo

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #4 on: April 08, 2014, 05:01:11 AM »
i read every letter with ever increasing interest


will there be a part 2


_aj_

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #5 on: April 08, 2014, 05:05:46 AM »
ah, good old remington pump.....

Ole Painless is my go to house gun. #4 buck.

wes

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #6 on: April 08, 2014, 05:07:36 AM »
:D

oldtimer1

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #7 on: April 08, 2014, 06:20:25 AM »
A steroid users worse nightmare is that he is off cycle taking a break. His body just turned to garbage. Skinny fat with no muscle.  Today is the day to go back on. He calls his connection. The phone is dead. Every time he calls he doesn't pick up. He hits the gym to train. Then he hear the news. His house was raided for selling steroids, ecstasy, oxycontin, pot, cocaine, hand guns and a pile of cash. They towed away his car too.

Everyone in the gym is scared to even talk about it. He's the guy to go to.  No one know of any other connection. One guy mumbles he heard about a guy named Fred in the gym a couple of towns over. He goes there on a one day pass. Anyone with muscle he asks about Fred?  Guys eye him with suspicion. He drives home striking out. Looking in a mirror at his decrepit physique he is determined to look buff again but he needs a steroid fix to do it.  

mr.turbo

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #8 on: April 08, 2014, 07:36:02 AM »
can't wait for the finale of this epic tale of humiliation
"

wes

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #9 on: April 08, 2014, 07:41:06 AM »
Victoria Guy rulz !!  :D

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #10 on: April 08, 2014, 07:44:09 AM »
You just shot up 250mgs of some of your 'boys' good ass test. You're on 2 grams of test a week in total. You're a little red and puffy and you got acne all over your back, but that ain't no biggie. You told your girlfriend/friends/family the weight gain came from the 'supplements' you got from Walmart. Told them your genetics were better. lol

 You're with your 'boo' on the way to the gym. The combination of a backwards cap, extra medium wife beater and baggy pants make you feel like a hip-hop star. The whole time in the car you feel like 2-pac on his way to a video shoot. You think other drivers are 'mirin'. You can't help but grin. You can't wait to show your 'honey' how hardcore you really are. With all the 'gear' you've been pumping in your ass, there's know way you can't make an impression. Besides, you don't expect anyone to actually be in the gym anyway. Except pussies. You got this. lol

 You and your 'girl' get out of your car and make your way to the entrance of the gym. You posture up. Expecting to be treated like God on a good hair day.

 Your heart sinks.

 Chalk dust. That's all you can think. Multicolored 45 pound plates. Your penis retreats inside of your abdomen. Squat racks. You think about leaving. Like, for good. You notice your girlfriend nipples are like raisins at this point. A knot forms in your throat. You can see her literally getting off, distracted by the sight of some drug free lumberjack-like bull hoisting atlas stones. You walk up to the counter. You ask for a protein snack. The employee ask you to speak up. You ask again. He's says no. "O.k.", you say quietly to yourself. As you turn back around you notice your 'boo' is gone. The knot in your throat grows larger.

 The place is packed. You notice a super hard and lean natural lifter bench pressing more weight than you would know how to count. He's got chalk all over him. He screams out on the last rep. You can feel yourself start to cry a little bit. You fight back tears and make your way over to the dumbbell rack. Time to show them how man you are. It's curl time.

 As you reach for the thirties, a large black man tells you that his little son wants to use those, so don't touch them. "Sure", you say under your breath and walk away. You start wandering around the gym looking for your 'girl, wiping away the occasional tear. You find her. She's talking with a chiseled natural black athlete. You finally have an opportunity to show off. You see a 135 pound barbell on the ground. You pick it up. Barely. You start to swing/curl it. horribly. "No dude, that's horrible form, try some lighter weight", the black Adonis tells you while he points at the little blue 20 pound dumbbells on the floor. Your 'girl' doesn't even know you exist at this point.
 
On the quiet drive home your 'honey' looks at you and says "I want black babies". You just pound your head against the wheel.

 

 

 
  

10/10  :D

wes

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #11 on: April 08, 2014, 07:48:38 AM »
85 Year Old Lady Getting Huge On Gear!

My 85 year old grandmother has packed on over 30 solid pounds in the past 4 weeks. Her max bench has leapt from just the bar to 155 pounds- for reps!

Over the past month, I've been throwing a handful of papervar onto her salad, dissolving anadrol tabs in her tea and I tell you, she has really turned into a hard-core lifter! Her roid rage is totally out of control, and she is eating like a horse. She has no clue that she is on steroids!

Just the other day, Nobby and I were with her in the gym. Normally I smack her around when she starts to give up with the weights, but this time the tables were indeed turned!

I was curling 275, and after 15 reps slowed down a tad. She lifted her umbrella (She carries it about in the gym with her) and stabbed me in the crotch, screaming, "You ****ing weakling!!!" I dropped the weight and collapsed, and she continued the abuse, beating me over the head mercilessly with her fearsome umbrella!

A passerby, an old gent of around 65, stopped and commented, "Good Lord, my dear, easy does it!" and she spun around, grabbed his testicles, and began crushing them in a vice-like grip, hissing, "Who asked you, ****face?!"

Finally, Nobby intervened and gave her a tremendous smack across the face with his bike chain, and as she lay on the floor, quivering, he dropped a 100 pound dumbell on her, screaming, "Aargggghh!!" the whole time.

Nobby and I left her comatose on the gym floor. But tommorow is leg day, and granny will be along for some mind-blowing quad work. Then we'll see who the weakling is!

I'll provide another update on the amazing gains my grandmother is making. Anyone else have a grandmother as fiesty as mine?

wes

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #12 on: April 08, 2014, 07:52:58 AM »

Retarded guy busted for gear!!!!!!!

    A week ago, my retarded friend and sometimes training partner, Marvin, showed up at the gym looking a tad dishearted. Seems he had been fired from his job at the Shell gas station for stripping naked and showering in the car wash. Marvin has Down's Syndrome, and even that fact didn't earn him an ounce of compassion from his boss.

    Well, I decided to do the Christian thing- I decided to make Marvin my assistant steroid distributor! I gave him a tub of dbol, and told him to see what he could sell.

    Marvin came back hours later, with the tub empty! I gave him another, and off he went. What on earth was the secret of his success?, I wondered. Driving past an elementary school on lunch recess, I soon found out!

    There was Marvin, the tub of dbol hung by a string around his neck, the top gone, and sporting a baseball cap with a piece of paper glued across the front reading, "Dbol for sale". He was ringing a bell in one hand, and crying, (He has bit of a lisp) "Dbolths... Dee-Baawwwlths... For sthale!... Five fur a pound... Deee-Boooollthsss!" he hollered, so loud it echoed across the entire schoolyard.

    "Get big... Get stwong... Get yer Dbolths!!" A crowd of enthusiastic kids, around 11 or 12, surrounded Marvin and in a matter of seconds he'd sold the entire tub! I rolled down the window of the Rolls and yelled out, "Jolly good show, Marvin!"

    Nobby rolled down his window and offered his support, "Well fookin' done!" he roared. I sat back, smiling, and a warm feeling came over me. Marvin was no longer the marginalized, retarded man mopping floors- he was a proficient salesman!

    The evening news featured a report on schoolchildren using steroids. They even had shots of the school Marvin had been at.
    Typical hype, as usual.

    Well, I swung by the school the next day, to see how Marvin would fare- this time, he was wearing a tray, similar to what a hot-dog vendor at a baseball game wears, and it was stocked with dbol, drol, cheque drops, fina pellets... A smorsgasborg of gear, all of which I had supplied him with! He'd just started ringing his bell when several police cars surrounded him, and about 10 police officers rushed out, nightsticks drawn. Marvin dropped his gear, uttered a terrifying roar, and charged the officers, using his mongoloid super-human strength to toss them around like rag dolls. Alas, more officers literally swarmed all over him, beating him with their nightsticks!

    Once Marvin gets out of intensive care, he faces various charges... This is ridiculous... I mean, what is wrong with people these days?!!

    Can't they give handicapped folk looking to make a living a bleeding break??!!

    Someone forward this tale of injustice to Amnesty International, please!

wes

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #13 on: April 08, 2014, 07:54:55 AM »

Lou Ferrigno ATTACKED- true story!!!

    Brothers,

    Sad news for you all, and before it makes the presses, I'd like everyone to know what really transpired very, very recently!
    Lou Ferrigno, the 'Living Legend', and his parents were attacked, and brothers, as far as I am concerned they all DESERVED it!

    I was at Heathrow Airport with Nobby and Marvin. Nobby and I were heading to the orient to buy another several months worth of anabolic aids, and Marvin, a Down's-Syndrome afflicted lad who workes out in my gym and idolizes Nobby and I, was given an opportunity to earn a few extra pence by carrying our suitcases around at the airport.

    I was about to head into the departure lounge when suddenly, I spotted them!

    "LOOK...it's Lou Ferrigno...and his parents!" I cried, pointing to the trio who were standing not to far off, looking lost. Yet, I felt a welling anger within me, and began trembling and mumbling to myself, "..****ing bastards...you thought you could get away with it...well YOU'll pay.."

    I marched over to the three of them, accompanied by Nobby and Marvin, and stood in front of them, arms folded. "AHEM!" I roared, so loudly that old Mrs. Ferrigno jumped in terror.

    They turned to us, and as I pointed an accusatory finger in their faces, I began screaming-, "... remember the scene in 'Pumping Iron' where you are all having dinner..and I've paused it many a time, and examined it frame by frame...didn't think anyone would notice the CRAP you(pointing at Lou's mother) were feeding him, eh? It was a few months away from the Olympia..pasta, pasta and more pasta...oh yes, Mrs Ferrigno, YOU did it deliberately, as no doubt you were working for Arnold, weren't you, bitch! And you, (pointing at Lou's father) meddling in Lou's training...no doubt on orders from Weider...and finally, you, Lou..for failing to win..you let your FANS down!!" I screamed. My face was beet red, I was quivering, eyes bulging...

    "It's one thing to let ME down..I am an adult..I can TAKE IT!" I screamed, my voice cracking, "BUT MENTALLY RETARDED FOLK LIKE POOR MARVIN HERE- WELL, BY GOD, YOU JUST DON'T GO ABOUT LETTING THEM DOWN!!!!"

    The three of them looked stunned. I turned and marched off. I'd been waiting a long time to get that off my chest. I stopped after a few strides, and seized Marvin.

    "Marvin, is there any justice?" I asked.

    "Oi, Mahvin, kick the **** out o the bahstahds!" Nobby snarled. Marvin's eyes grew wider, and due to the lenses of his glasses being at least an inch thick appreared the size of dinner plates! He started screaming in rage, turned, and ran charging at the Ferrignos. Lou's parents turned around to see what the approaching bedlam was, and were caught in a double-clothesline by Marvin! After hitting the floor, Marvin picked up Mrs. Ferrigno's walker, and began beating them all with it until it was just a short length of twisted metal. But, bros, Lou was in shape, and in what looked like a reprise of his 'Incredible Hulk' role from TV, he seized Marvin, and threw him face down on the hard floor and then began stomping on his head. Just then, a crowd of airport security personnel showed up and promptly pepper sprayed Lou and handcuffed Lou and Marvin.

    Well, folks, who do these pro's think they are? Do they think they can actually let down fans and get away with it?

Wiggs

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #14 on: April 08, 2014, 08:46:24 AM »
You just shot up 250mgs of some of your 'boys' good ass test. You're on 2 grams of test a week in total. You're a little red and puffy and you got acne all over your back, but that ain't no biggie. You told your girlfriend/friends/family the weight gain came from the 'supplements' you got from Walmart. Told them your genetics were better. lol

 You're with your 'boo' on the way to the gym. The combination of a backwards cap, extra medium wife beater and baggy pants make you feel like a hip-hop star. The whole time in the car you feel like 2-pac on his way to a video shoot. You think other drivers are 'mirin'. You can't help but grin. You can't wait to show your 'honey' how hardcore you really are. With all the 'gear' you've been pumping in your ass, there's know way you can't make an impression. Besides, you don't expect anyone to actually be in the gym anyway. Except pussies. You got this. lol

 You and your 'girl' get out of your car and make your way to the entrance of the gym. You posture up. Expecting to be treated like God on a good hair day.

 Your heart sinks.

 Chalk dust. That's all you can think. Multicolored 45 pound plates. Your penis retreats inside of your abdomen. Squat racks. You think about leaving. Like, for good. You notice your girlfriend nipples are like raisins at this point. A knot forms in your throat. You can see her literally getting off, distracted by the sight of some drug free lumberjack-like bull hoisting atlas stones. You walk up to the counter. You ask for a protein snack. The employee ask you to speak up. You ask again. He's says no. "O.k.", you say quietly to yourself. As you turn back around you notice your 'boo' is gone. The knot in your throat grows larger.

 The place is packed. You notice a super hard and lean natural lifter bench pressing more weight than you would know how to count. He's got chalk all over him. He screams out on the last rep. You can feel yourself start to cry a little bit. You fight back tears and make your way over to the dumbbell rack. Time to show them how man you are. It's curl time.

 As you reach for the thirties, a large black man tells you that his little son wants to use those, so don't touch them. "Sure", you say under your breath and walk away. You start wandering around the gym looking for your 'girl, wiping away the occasional tear. You find her. She's talking with a chiseled natural black athlete. You finally have an opportunity to show off. You see a 135 pound barbell on the ground. You pick it up. Barely. You start to swing/curl it. horribly. "No dude, that's horrible form, try some lighter weight", the black Adonis tells you while he points at the little blue 20 pound dumbbells on the floor. Your 'girl' doesn't even know you exist at this point.
 
On the quiet drive home your 'honey' looks at you and says "I want black babies". You just pound your head against the wheel.

 

 

 
  


lolololololololololololo l
7

headhuntersix

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #15 on: April 08, 2014, 01:32:04 PM »
Strong all around thread...
L

mr.turbo

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #16 on: April 08, 2014, 05:21:09 PM »
As I said in another thread this morning I know Dorian pretty well now but when we first met 20+ years ago it was a different matter. I was already of course an established bodybuilder and was in town to compete in my first EFBB masters show. Dorian was competing in the heavyweight class of the seniors. We were both training at the same time in a gym and believe it or not Dorian was dressed in dungarees with no shirt under it and was wearing Doc Martin boots. He really did look like a complete scumbag with his tattood fingers and arms covered in tatoos of the Union Jack, bulldog, picture of Doc Martin boot (seriously !!) etc.  He made the mistake of calling me "Jock". As many of you know I am ex Black Watch so even though I was 50 years old at the time I sorted his attitude in double quick time. I went out to my car and got my pair of pliers and then walked up to Dorian as he was lying on the bench doing presses. I placed my thumb and index fingers on his eyes which clamping his testicles with my pliers. I told him if he spoke to me with disrespect again I would crush his genetalia and the last thing he would see would be my face before he lost his eyes. I kid you not, he actually pissed himself (which resulted in me removing my pliers).

The guy is a big Fairy. 

 8)         
"

polychronopolous

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #17 on: April 08, 2014, 05:36:23 PM »
I halfway expected this thread to have the line "In waddles Croatch with a gallon of water on his side" at some point.

Wolfox

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #18 on: April 08, 2014, 05:50:20 PM »
Victoria Guy rulz !!  :D

Victorian Guy from mayhem was a riot.
A

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #19 on: April 08, 2014, 05:58:55 PM »
"Fetch my slippers!", barked Dad.  Slumped in his easy chair, Dad was clad in only a blue terrycloth bathrobe, loosely tied at the waist, his powerul, hairy chest wantonly on display, while the hem of the robe rode up his muscular, tanned, hairy thighs.  His thick black moustache lent him a certain machismo, and the cigarette smoke surrounding him was intoxicating.  What a sight to behold!

"Get the godamn slippers and come here!", Dad repeated, his voice becoming irritated. Billy dutifully trotted into Mom and Dad's bedroom and reappeared with Dad's slippers.  They were a dark blue , with beige rubber souls.  Billy knew the drill.  He began walking towards Dad.  "Don't walk.  Skip!  I want you to skip over here you fuckin sissy."  Billy broke into an awkward skip, his bony arms and legs flailing about, while his longish dark hair bobbed up and down with each sissy skip.  "Coming Dad," he answers.  Dad stretched out a long, muscular leg and wiggled his toes suggestively.

wes

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #20 on: April 08, 2014, 06:56:51 PM »
"Fetch my slippers!", barked Dad.  Slumped in his easy chair, Dad was clad in only a blue terrycloth bathrobe, loosely tied at the waist, his powerul, hairy chest wantonly on display, while the hem of the robe rode up his muscular, tanned, hairy thighs.  His thick black moustache lent him a certain machismo, and the cigarette smoke surrounding him was intoxicating.  What a sight to behold!

"Get the godamn slippers and come here!", Dad repeated, his voice becoming irritated. Billy dutifully trotted into Mom and Dad's bedroom and reappeared with Dad's slippers.  They were a dark blue , with beige rubber souls.  Billy knew the drill.  He began walking towards Dad.  "Don't walk.  Skip!  I want you to skip over here you fuckin sissy."  Billy broke into an awkward skip, his bony arms and legs flailing about, while his longish dark hair bobbed up and down with each sissy skip.  "Coming Dad," he answers.  Dad stretched out a long, muscular leg and wiggled his toes suggestively.
lol  ;D

Wiggs

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #21 on: April 08, 2014, 07:02:06 PM »
"Fetch my slippers!", barked Dad.  Slumped in his easy chair, Dad was clad in only a blue terrycloth bathrobe, loosely tied at the waist, his powerul, hairy chest wantonly on display, while the hem of the robe rode up his muscular, tanned, hairy thighs.  His thick black moustache lent him a certain machismo, and the cigarette smoke surrounding him was intoxicating.  What a sight to behold!

"Get the godamn slippers and come here!", Dad repeated, his voice becoming irritated. Billy dutifully trotted into Mom and Dad's bedroom and reappeared with Dad's slippers.  They were a dark blue , with beige rubber souls.  Billy knew the drill.  He began walking towards Dad.  "Don't walk.  Skip!  I want you to skip over here you fuckin sissy."  Billy broke into an awkward skip, his bony arms and legs flailing about, while his longish dark hair bobbed up and down with each sissy skip.  "Coming Dad," he answers.  Dad stretched out a long, muscular leg and wiggled his toes suggestively.

Daddy's slippers of peace.
7

BigCyp

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #22 on: April 09, 2014, 03:44:22 AM »
No, every steroid users worst nightmare = realising that this is the guy who advice you've been following to 'take it to the next level'

BOOM!


anabolichalo

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #23 on: April 09, 2014, 05:32:34 AM »
No, every steroid users worst nightmare = realising that this is the guy who advice you've been following to 'take it to the next level'

BOOM!


imagine that

 :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X


i'm glad i take advise from real people

Papper

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Re: Every steroid users worst nightmare
« Reply #24 on: April 09, 2014, 06:04:19 AM »
That is good writing!