Wow, me at 19 personified. Except she was a 10/10 to start and I put on 2 stone 
well I was 21, she was 30, a real dime, believe me. She had that 'woman' figure and she wasn't superficial at all... she met me in the gym 3 months after an 8 year marriage (although they weren't officially married because they didn't believe in 'marriage') with a man she made two kids with, so at the end she was a very experienced woman who was just tired of my bullshit... I believe we had real love because there was nothing we didn't do, even with her kids too, but love if anything requires work and commitment. It was one helluva year in my life. But as a grown mature woman she had to make a cold choice and let me go, who knows what
could've would've happened if we stayed together, would I have changed? Would I have shown her that I could be 100% commited to the relationship without any fuck shit? oh well
She was all there for me too, but back then I lived with my mama

, so I always had the safe place to go away from her everyday life with her kids, who also loved me. So I'm sure she loved me and I had the chance to get a woman who can't be bought by nothing, but I took it for granted at the end and thought I could keep this up forever and I never had the balls to be a man and make a hard choice to take them in my life, so in other words I wasted everyone's time.... oh well... at least I experienced the fiery love of a grown mature woman, it was a great first love

end of no homo novel of peace