if it meant looking like this?
Ramana Maharishi
why can't you have both. or all things?
in ones hiearchy of needs wants desires or whatever you wish to call it, I'm sure most people wish they could have perpetual happiness. just to be happy.
happiness is not a maintainable state. it's an artificial high. there are ups and downs a associated w it.
so ideally then for me at the top of my hiearchy is peace. you can achieve constant peace. its maintainable. how do you get there? that's the question.
Im finding my way there. I've gone quite far compared to who I used to be. I was not a nice person in my 20's. now he's still there and will always be a part of me I think. but now he's not the whole of me. he's been relegated to someone who's a memory and someone who I hate to say it protects me. he's someone I have to give up completely before I reach my true peace. I can't tell you or anyone else how to get there. the key is balancing peace w 'real life' and living within the societal bracketing we exist in.
I found a way I can live here, exist and have peace. I get why monks go to places of isolation. I understand that now. we are surrounded by peace killers. we put things in our lives that destroy our peace. you need to root those out, or recognise and not fall prey to them. I still battle 3 things detrimental to my peace that are directly tied to my old and this new self. will I conquer them. maybe. maybe I havent cause I don't really want to yet.
w/o sounding like some self help book you can have peace and look the way you want to look. you can have both. some people will get what I'm talking about. surprisingly a lot of people hate this kind of discussion. they are happy just to go day to day abt their existence w no real care that's there's a bigger picture. and that's cool. for me I see a bigger picture and the more I just let go and realise I control nothing the more peace I have. acceptance in all things -good or bad= peace.
works for me anyway