What's this guy's problem
Mildly retarded?
yes may i lick your ass also?if its nice and clean that is and u didnt take any dick in there in the last 48 hrs,cause if u did it will be to loose for me.the tighter the better is my logo. ok let me finish my story now about the girl who wanted me to lick her ass,i knew this girl for maybe 10 years or so when we had are sexual encounter.we used to hang out alot back in the early 80's and then when i went away for afew yrs i lost touch with her,so one day im driving my Datsun 260 Z around town and see her walking so i beep my horn and wave and slowed down.she came over to my passenger side and just like she used to do in the old days she jumped right in and made herself comfortable,she leans over and kisses me on the mouth/cheek and to be honest i was stunned. she said where u going,i said just cruising around,she said nice car how long did u have it,i said i just bought it 2 weeks after i got out of prison.she smiled and said so u only been out of jail for acouple weeks now,i said yes. she says have u seen any of your old girlfriends since u been out,i said no not yet,she says lets go back to your place and catch up on things.i knew she wanted the famous DON BURKILINI SAUSAGE,thats what my friends used to call me cause it sounded like a MOBSTER name 8)we get back to my place and its still all fucked up cause i havent been there in years.she sits on my bed right away and starts acting like shes tired,u guys know the deal,whenever a broad plays that tired role on your bed shes looking for the big beef bopper. anyway i start kissing her alittle and lit up a joint of some kick ass coney island skunk weed i had sitting in my room for years,i bought a half ounce 2 weeks before i went away.she was getting stoned and so was i,i start touching her hooters and kissing her more.i figure if she didnt put up the stop sign yet the lights going to be green all night long with out even as much as a yeild sign popping up. then she starts talking some crazy shit about knights and dragons
heres where it starts to get weird
she tells me she knew i was going to be driving down that strip today cause shes been spying on me everyday and following me in her brothers car so she knew my route,i was getting alittle spooked to be honest.she said im her knight in shining armor and she saw me slay a dragon in her dream last night and saved her from the beast,i just smiled and was thinking about the pussy so i really didnt care what she said to much. anyway she takes off her shirt and bra and i noticed her tits where really fucked up lookin,they looked like 2 dried up lemons that been sitting out in the sun for weeks. i sucked them anyway and said fuck it, maybe the pussy is nice and juicy. i start sticking my hand down her pants and after a minute of fingering her i take my hand out to take her pants off and i smell that unmistakeable odor of SHIT, im getting nervous now cause im backtracking in my mind when was the last time i took a shit and if i forgot to wipe my ass or something,so i jump up and run to my bathroom and do a quick SHIT ON THE ASS check,i took a peice of toilet paper and wiped real slow and looked at the paper and it was SUPER CLEAN,NOT EVEN A SLIGHT SKID MARK. anyway now my minds racing,im thinking maybe my dog(dinkins) took a shit under my bed when i went out now it smells bad. i look around and find nothing,she says what r u looking for and i said i lost my tv remote and need to find it, she said oh ok and i sit back down next to her on bed. she starts grabbing my cock but with all the stuff that was going on with the shit smell i lost my boner and now im thinking im not taking out my Meat when its all soft,so i stall afew minutes till i recapture my stiffness. she starts rubbing my cock and im moaning now with pleasure,she says u are an animal and i want u to fuck me like an animal fucks a women. she takes off her pants now and the shit smell gets really intense at this point,i look down at her underwear and she had more skidmarks than englishtown raceway in south jersey. i was like oh shit, but im a horny fucker and said ok ill still fuck her even if she does have afew skid marks. now she lays on her stomach and couldnt believe what i saw,she had all these doodleberries( clumped of shit )hanging all over her ass between her cheeks
i stopped what i was doing and when i went to scratch my nose i had the shit smell all over my finger from when i was fingering her
i said listen u got to go cause i just remembered that i have to go to a narcotics meetin as a stipulation of my parole,which was a lie cause i maxed out my parole and didnt have to see no one. she starts getting weird and starts crying really loud and saying that she is gonna kill me and then kill herself so we can be happy in eternity together,i was alittle nervous and wasnt sure what to do. i told her where do u wanna go? she says i want to stay here with u,i said u cant cause my landlord said i cant have no more people.she gets up and starts reaching in her purse so i grab her arm and say what r u getting? she had a straight razor in there and i think she was going to stab me. at that point i literally pushed her out my door and threw her purse on the floor and said see u, 3 hrs later i was going to the store to get some food and shes sitting near my car,i jumped in my car and pretended i didnt see her and took off,i acted like i had headphones on. she is still there when i got home and i had no choice but to call the cops,they came and informed me she escaped from a mental institution for stabbing her mother,sister and brother and tried to kill herself
the cop said are u guys getting married soon>i said no why?he said she said that and she also said u and her just had sex and shes pregnant also.i said i didnt see her for years and it was the first time i ran into her today since then.he said ok and the cop said she wants to say something to u if thats ok with u,i said ok and she looked at me and said i wont rest until me and u r buried and are together in eternity.i actually told the cop that and he said i heard it also,he said she nuts man and if u want to fill out a threat report i dont blame
