Men don't need to look 'hot' to be desireable, that's usually a female trade.
I see this all the time everywhere I go. Even this 19 year old girl in my gym switched off from a surfer hair, 7% bodyfat having 185lbs guy who's a graphic designer and a personal trainer and doing good for a 23 year old white guy who was born inside a working family blood line- to a 170lbs 15% BF cash registry dude who barely lifts. He told me she lives in his Place now and they have so much in common.
I've noticed when you aren't intimidated (in a good way or a bad way) by a hot girl, but you are straight and you don't have hormonal deficiency and you can act normal around this hot girl without lying to yourself or to her, then the hot girl is so taken by that that you can almost program her mind to be your slave and she has no idea what's going on.
Not everyone can pull it off, it requires certain type of personality, and 'not trying'