Author Topic: I love you guys....(no homo)!  (Read 43190 times)

greeneyes

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #225 on: March 12, 2015, 04:32:48 AM »
If she doesn't ask you for help maybe it's because you don't kindly help her and look unhappy while doing it. Think about it. Then you  know now that you wanted to abondon your 70yo wife so don't be surprised if she does the same to you years later.

FitnessFrenzy

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #226 on: March 12, 2015, 04:56:46 AM »
Prime is a good man. If it wasnt for his lust for dudes he would make a stand up citizen in best korea

agreed. However, if he is bisexual, it is not easy to find happiness being with only 1 person.

I wish you the best, Prime.  :)

Palpatine Q

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #227 on: March 12, 2015, 07:02:15 AM »
I'm not trying to harass you Prime.  These are things that once you face, it will make you both feel much better.  Lots of people right here can help you find answers to things like CPAP alternatives and diabetes issues.  You like to communicate, so why not use it for these things?

As for right now, the most important thing you can do is to be with her when it's time to do a medical procedure.  It gives you the perfect opportunity to connect and to show her what she means to you.  And knowing the doctor's orders are being followed will give you the security of mind to enjoy that quality of life you mentioned.  

All immediate problems solved with just a little bit of effort from you.

Won't you start doing it, now?

Jesus....mind your fucking businesss nosy

Palpatine Q

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #228 on: March 12, 2015, 07:24:01 AM »



shouldn't you be spying on complete strangers on Facebook..... and "reporting" back to us, like we give a fuck  ::)

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #229 on: March 12, 2015, 09:08:28 AM »
The unused CPAP in the closet is hers. She put it there because she refused to use it. This was never an issue between us.

I know it's hers, Prime.  And I know that most people have resistance to sleep treatment, until they feel the benefit from it.  Then they don't want to do without it.  I know there are ways around a CPAP, too, for the people that won't use them.

Exactly what is happening?

You know what's happening.

Primemuscle

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #230 on: March 12, 2015, 11:05:26 AM »
how would your wife feel if she read this thread prime

Mostly, she'd be okay with it. She'd probably get on my case for responding to some of the less kind to me comments. She'd very protective of me. I haven't posted anything here she and I have not discussed. We have no secrets. Secrets are barriers to a good relationship.

She's not into social networking aside from email. She might think Getbig is stupid. I talk about Getbig to her, but she doesn't really seem that interested.

Primemuscle

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #231 on: March 12, 2015, 11:06:34 AM »
If she doesn't ask you for help maybe it's because you don't kindly help her and look unhappy while doing it. Think about it. Then you  know now that you wanted to abondon your 70yo wife so don't be surprised if she does the same to you years later.

Sorry, but this is laughable.

Primemuscle

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #232 on: March 12, 2015, 11:08:36 AM »
agreed. However, if he is bisexual, it is not easy to find happiness being with only 1 person.

I wish you the best, Prime.  :)

Do you have personal experience with this situation?

Primemuscle

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #233 on: March 12, 2015, 11:12:06 AM »
I know it's hers, Prime.  And I know that most people have resistance to sleep treatment, until they feel the benefit from it.  Then they don't want to do without it.  I know there are ways around a CPAP, too, for the people that won't use them.

You know what's happening.

Then you don't know the folks in our house who are supposed to use a CPAP. My wife tried to use hers for a long time. She never liked it. Eventually she told her doctor she wasn't going to use it. My son-in-law has a CPAP which he only sometimes uses. He says he feels better when he does, but that it is a hassle to use.

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #234 on: March 12, 2015, 12:25:24 PM »
Then you don't know the folks in our house who are supposed to use a CPAP. My wife tried to use hers for a long time. She never liked it. Eventually she told her doctor she wasn't going to use it. My son-in-law has a CPAP which he only sometimes uses. He says he feels better when he does, but that it is a hassle to use.

She wants the benefit of healthy sleep but the particular device is what's putting her off.  That's what you're saying.

Have you investigated any alternatives?

andreisdaman

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #235 on: March 12, 2015, 12:28:31 PM »
Thanks for the solid advice. I should do that. I am really wound up tonight. I probably wouldn't be able to sleep anyway.

Without a doubt, I am going to regret tonight for a long time to come. I just need to exhaust some negative energy that has been piling up for the last couple of months. It's a long story. Those of you who know me well, know what I am talking about.

still having irresistible homosexual thoughts my friend?..be honest

Primemuscle

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #236 on: March 12, 2015, 12:40:48 PM »
She wants the benefit of healthy sleep but the particular device is what's putting her off.  That's what you're saying.

Have you investigated any alternatives?

Yes. She tried several different models before completely giving up on them. There are also some limitations because the CPAP has to be a model that works with oxygen. She uses oxygen 24/7 with the flow rate currently at 4. There are other nuisances with using a CPAP. Namely, she gets up to pee several times during the night. Each time she did, she had to disconnect and reconnect the CPAP.

Currenty, she sleeps about half or more of the night sitting up in a large comfortable chair in the bedroom. This position actually helps with her breathing. Her lung function is poor enough that it becomes harder for her to breath when she's laying down. This is not because her airway is blocked but because her lungs have flattened out according to the doctor. A CPAP would not help with this problem.  

We've talked about getting a hospital bed for her, but she doesn't want one because she says they aren't comfortable. She should know. She's almost spent more time in the hospital this year then out.

Primemuscle

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #237 on: March 12, 2015, 12:46:21 PM »
still having irresistible homosexual thoughts my friend?..be honest

I am always honest. It is one of only a few good features about my personality.

Sexual thoughts of any type were not on my mind the other night. Has anyone ever mentioned to you that you have a one track mind and an unusual curiosity about my sex life? Frankly, it makes you seem somewhat perverted.

Las Vegas

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #238 on: March 12, 2015, 12:47:26 PM »
Yes. She tried several different models before completely giving up on them. There are also some limitations because the CPAP has to work with oxygen. She uses oxygen 24/7 with the flow rate currently at 4. There are other nuisances with using a CPAP. Namely, she gets up to pee several times during the night. Each time she did, she had to disconnect and reconnect the CPAP.

Currenty, she sleeps about half or more of the night sitting up in a large comfortable chair in the bedroom. This position actually helps with her breathing. Her lung function is poor enough that it becomes harder for her to breath when she's laying down. This is not because her airway is blocked but because her lungs have flattened out according to the doctor. A CPAP would not help with this problem.  

We've talked about getting a hospital bed for her, but she doesn't want one because she says they aren't comfortable. She should know. She's almost spent more time in the hospital this year then out.

Does she still snore or have other breathing irregularities when she sleeps in the chair?

Primemuscle

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #239 on: March 12, 2015, 12:52:18 PM »
Does she still snore or have other breathing irregularities when she sleeps in the chair?

Her airway is restricted because of an enlarged thyroid. She is not healthy enough to have surgery to have her non functioning thyroid removed. Actually, she rarely snores these days.  I am not sure why she isn't snoring. She used to snore so loud that I couldn't sleep without wearing earplugs.

As I mentioned, it is easier for her to breath sitting up. I've not only offered up the idea of getting a hospital bed or even one of those sleep number beds with dual controls, I've got her one of the bed pillows with arms that's specifically designed for sitting up in bed. It's in the closet along with the CPAP.

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #240 on: March 12, 2015, 02:02:39 PM »
Her airway is restricted because of an enlarged thyroid. She is not healthy enough to have surgery to have her non functioning thyroid removed. Actually, she rarely snores these days.  I am not sure why she isn't snoring. She used to snore so loud that I couldn't sleep without wearing earplugs.

As I mentioned, it is easier for her to breath sitting up. I've not only offered up the idea of getting a hospital bed or even one of those sleep number beds with dual controls, I've got her one of the bed pillows with arms that's specifically designed for sitting up in bed. It's in the closet along with the CPAP.

Seems that would be a good thing, but has the doctor commented on it?  I've heard of apnea being suppressed with diet changes etc.  Do you think that could have happened with her? 

Do you see or hear anything from her when she sleeps that would tell you something is interfering with her breathing these days...something that would indicate an apnea problem?

FitnessFrenzy

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #241 on: March 12, 2015, 03:33:20 PM »
Who deleted my Groink photoshop?

Why is he allowed special treatment?

Primemuscle

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #242 on: March 12, 2015, 03:50:21 PM »
Seems that would be a good thing, but has the doctor commented on it?  I've heard of apnea being suppressed with diet changes etc.  Do you think that could have happened with her? 

Do you see or hear anything from her when she sleeps that would tell you something is interfering with her breathing these days...something that would indicate an apnea problem?

Sometimes, maybe often sleep apnea occurs in people who are obese. A change in diet that reduces someone's weight could correct sleep apnea. In my wife's case, the sleep apnea may have been the result of her having an enlarged thyroid. An enlarged thyroid can restrict the airway thus causing sleep apnea.

Has the doctor commented on what? The fact that she sleeps part of the night in a chair as opposed to laying down in bed? Not really. Her primary care physician and the nephrologist both asked her about using the CPAP for quite awhile. When it became obvious that she wasn't going to use it, they've both let it go. Realistically, while not using a CPAP when it might help with breathing and sleep can be life threatening, my wife has much more serious health issues going on then this and has had for a least 10 years.

She doesn't sleep well, but then her sleep patterns have been messed up for quite awhile. It's better since she started dialysis, but she generally sleeps about 12 to 14 hours in any 24 hour period. The quality of that sleep is not great for a number of reasons. When I've listened to her breathe while sleeping lately, it has been pretty regular.

You seem to be trying to figure out how to make her well. If you can do what many doctors have failed to accomplish over the last few decades, it would be amazing. My wife has never had really great health her entire adult life. Some of this is due to her not taking good care of her health and mostly, it is just crap genetics.

Maybe we are all taking the easy way out, but her specialists and regular doctors are just concentrating on making her feel as good as possible. She's feeling a lot better since starting dialysis. The doctor told her she would continue to feel better and better over the next several weeks. This being said, there is no medical reason that suggests her kidney failure will go away. Dialysis is doing the work her kidneys no longer do. As I mentioned she also has congestive heart failure. That doesn't get better with time or treatment either.

Read about chronic stage V kidney failure. There are three ways to deal with it. One is to simply do nothing and die over the course of several weeks. Another is to have a kidney transplant, which my wife cannot do because she would most certainly die during surgery. And lastly, go on dialysis for as long as that works which might extend your life some, but won't resolve the kidney failure.

Natural Man

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #243 on: March 12, 2015, 04:04:34 PM »
I agree with some of what you've posted. My wife does need to know that I am there for her and I need to be there for her when she needs me. As long as she has a voice, she can ask for help when she needs it.

As for doing certain things for her that she doesn't or won't do for herself, well that's a bit of a different story. She is desperately hanging onto remaining as independent as possible. This is the really touchy area. For now, we are both good with her asking for help. Should things change and she is no longer in a place where she can reasonably do this, it will trigger reevaluating this part as long as I am around to fill that gap.

Sometimes I don't feel like much of a champ. All our family and friends keep telling me I am, but that just does not make it so. I am grateful that I have so much support. I can't imagine how people get through this stuff when they don't have a network behind them.
we get it, she s dying, you re alone , depressed, you both have duplicit twisted feelings about each other and death... not sure how people on the internet can help you, especially on here where most are young, very young, or inexperienced/immature with such stuff and care more about getting bigger muscles, cars to..get the girls.
my advice would be to let her die if she wants it. Ask her and if you really love her understand her useless suffering and help her make her pain stop asap. Ask her if she wants to be euthanasied and be done with it. Will be better for everyone involved. You pretend to have a great relationships with her, why come on fucking getbig to discuss all these things. Real couples dont do that, they get straight to the point and keep it between them.

Seriously who wants to live in these conditions you enumerated about her health. Chair/bed ridden all day long, watching tv, eating... knowing everyone wants you to die asap so the burden stops and they can resume their lives (and inherit stuff).  Two people who love each other simply ask themselves "ok, do you still want to live or not " and that's it. It's also better to do it while she s still conscious / aware.  Im baffled you seem to never have had such a discussion with her. Apparently some people spend their lives together saying nothing or very few things to each others, weird, but i'm not surprised.

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #244 on: March 12, 2015, 04:32:31 PM »
Who deleted my Groink photoshop?

Why is he allowed special treatment?

He has two cocks and can please twice the amount of schmoes as any other superior human building.

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #245 on: March 12, 2015, 04:34:48 PM »
Sometimes, maybe often sleep apnea occurs in people who are obese. A change in diet that reduces someone's weight could correct sleep apnea. In my wife's case, the sleep apnea may have been the result of her having an enlarged thyroid. An enlarged thyroid can restrict the airway thus causing sleep apnea.

Has the doctor commented on what? The fact that she sleeps part of the night in a chair as opposed to laying down in bed? Not really. Her primary care physician and the nephrologist both asked her about using the CPAP for quite awhile. When it became obvious that she wasn't going to use it, they've both let it go. Realistically, while not using a CPAP when it might help with breathing and sleep can be life threatening, my wife has much more serious health issues going on then this and has had for a least 10 years.

She doesn't sleep well, but then her sleep patterns have been messed up for quite awhile. It's better since she started dialysis, but she generally sleeps about 12 to 14 hours in any 24 hour period. The quality of that sleep is not great for a number of reasons. When I've listened to her breathe while sleeping lately, it has been pretty regular.

You seem to be trying to figure out how to make her well. If you can do what many doctors have failed to accomplish over the last few decades, it would be amazing. My wife has never had really great health her entire adult life. Some of this is due to her not taking good care of her health and mostly, it is just crap genetics.

Maybe we are all taking the easy way out, but her specialists and regular doctors are just concentrating on making her feel as good as possible. She's feeling a lot better since starting dialysis. The doctor told her she would continue to feel better and better over the next several weeks. This being said, there is no medical reason that suggests her kidney failure will go away. Dialysis is doing the work her kidneys no longer do. As I mentioned she also has congestive heart failure. That doesn't get better with time or treatment either.

Read about chronic stage V kidney failure. There are three ways to deal with it. One is to simply do nothing and die over the course of several weeks. Another is to have a kidney transplant, which my wife cannot do because she would most certainly die during surgery. And lastly, go on dialysis for as long as that works which might extend your life some, but won't resolve the kidney failure.

If the doctor commented on the sharp decline in snoring, is what I was asking. It used to be so loud, and now you say she rarely snores, seems like something to question.  If she reversed the apnea, it would be good to know.

Yes, I saw earlier when you mentioned the three ways.  I don't think there's much "maybe" about whether dialysis will improve and extend life compared to not doing it, as long as the patient takes to it, is there?

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #246 on: March 12, 2015, 04:40:57 PM »
You know what Prime I know me and you haven't always seen eye to eye but I sincerely wish you and your wife the best.

Also nothing wrong with being who you are or letting off some steam on here or otherwise, so keep your head up always.

If you finally ever wanna talk on the phone you can ring me anytime. I'll drop you my number on PM, just don't give it out to anyone please.

I am a lot nicer person in real life than I make out on here.

Peace

Primemuscle

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #247 on: March 12, 2015, 05:02:14 PM »
If the doctor commented on the sharp decline in snoring, is what I was asking. It used to be so loud, and now you say she rarely snores, seems like something to question.  If she reversed the apnea, it would be good to know.

Yes, I saw earlier when you mentioned the three ways.  I don't think there's much "maybe" about whether dialysis will improve and extend life compared to not doing it, as long as the patient takes to it, is there?


I see, well the last time the doctor asked my wife about the CPAP, I mentioned that she seems to be sleeping more soundly and that she wasn't snoring or "catching her breath" as she had been before. I go to most of her doctors appointment and go in with her to the exam room. When I am not there, our daughter is. While it seems like something to question, in the scope of things and given that she refuses to use the CPAP, the doctor is not pursuing this.

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #248 on: March 12, 2015, 06:14:42 PM »
I see, well the last time the doctor asked my wife about the CPAP, I mentioned that she seems to be sleeping more soundly and that she wasn't snoring or "catching her breath" as she had been before. I go to most of her doctors appointment and go in with her to the exam room. When I am not there, our daughter is. While it seems like something to question, in the scope of things and given that she refuses to use the CPAP, the doctor is not pursuing this.

what's her specific complaint about the cpap...besides the part about getting up to use the restroom

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Re: I love you guys....(no homo)!
« Reply #249 on: March 12, 2015, 06:28:17 PM »
if she's no longer snoring, and you believe her snoring had been caused by an enlarged thyroid..do you have any more comment?  do you still think it was due to that?