DivorceCorp if this doesn't scare you from getting married nothing will.

[Ronnie Rep]

As someone who has been divorced once, and in the legal system directly involved with judges lawyers legal assistants what have you. There are so many variables. If you have no kids can be a relatively painless and inexpensive process. Once there are kids involved it all changes. Also depends what state you live in. Laws are different from state to state. For instance Florida has no fault divorce and no legal separation. Which speeds things up and makes things somewhat less complicated than other states.

[Man of Steel]

I understand the anti-marriage sentiments.

What do y'all think it takes to be successful in a marriage?

[Al Doggity]

More like 25%. Nothing. They simply got LUCKY (to meet a person that is SO compatible on the long run). Simple as that.

The thing is, by most informed estimates, the divorce rate in America is dropping. 25% might be closer to the divorce rate than the success rate of marriages within the last 20 years.

The earlier poster had it PARTIALLY right that fewer men are getting married.  A more accurate picture is that the marriage rate is dropping and both men and women are getting married later. Marriage is not a reflexive life choice for people anymore. While men are still the primary breadwinners, when people wait to get married, both parties generally come to the table more financially stable.

the messiest divorces tend to be about money and/or kids. If a marriage doesn't involve a huge financial imbalance or kids, it's not likely to drag on for years.

[Azure]

People are picking whacked out partners.

WHen guys pick goldigging tramps who are pretending to be wife material but are really looking for someone playing captain save a ho....it costs way too much. 

I wouldn't advise marrying them. 

[Man of Steel]

People are picking whacked out partners.

WHen guys pick goldigging tramps who are pretending to be wife material but are really looking for someone playing captain save a ho....it costs way too much. 

I wouldn't advise marrying them. 

It seems pretty straightforward LOL.

[Ronnie Rep]

The thing is, by most informed estimates, the divorce rate in America is dropping. 25% might be closer to the divorce rate than the success rate of marriages within the last 20 years.

The earlier poster had it PARTIALLY right that fewer men are getting married.  A more accurate picture is that the marriage rate is dropping and both men and women are getting married later. Marriage is not a reflexive life choice for people anymore. While men are still the primary breadwinners, when people wait to get married, both parties generally come to the table more financially stable.

the messiest divorces tend to be about money and/or kids. If a marriage doesn't involve a huge financial imbalance or kids, it's not likely to drag on for years.

True. Plus in the last 8 years or so when the economy tanked there were less divorces because of finances. People where staying together and trying to work things out, because divorce was no longer an easier option.

[Azure]

It seems pretty straightforward LOL.

Some of our friends, I don't know WHAT they are thinking...except the sex must be really good and it will always be like this. I can see these people are nothing but gold diggers a mile away! You should pick someone that you can have a great time with outside of The bedroom. It sounds cliche but you really should be friends first and enjoy each others company. Also chicks who want to be with you 24/7 and have nothing going on but you is a sure fire sign of impending doom.

[Man of Steel]

Some of our friends, I don't know WHAT they are thinking...except the sex must be really good and it will always be like this. I can see these people are nothing but gold diggers a mile away! You should pick someone that you can have a great time with outside of The bedroom. It sounds cliche but you really should be friends first and enjoy each others company. Also chicks who want to be with you 24/7 and have nothing going on but you is a sure fire sign of impending doom.

Doesn't sound cliche at all. 

People can pay for great sex. 

I figure you'd marry someone you love, that comes from good stock, that makes you laugh, that makes you feel special, that challenges you, holds you accountable and if the sex in the marriage is great on top of that then score!! 

[Azure]

Doesn't sound cliche at all. 

People can pay for great sex. 

I figure you'd marry someone you love, that comes from good stock, that makes you laugh, that makes you feel special, that challenges you, holds you accountable and if the sex in the marriage is great on top of that then score!! 

Right??? But many people have so many unspoken and ulterior motives regarding marriage that they try to hide but it's obvious.  I really can't see starting off any other way than as friends...you like to be around your friends because you have a good time together and you can talk about anything.  Why people do not think that's crucial in marriage is beyond me. 

My biggest thing is you have to have the same values and want the same things out of life.  You also need to develop a strong bond because that's what makes the best sex! 

It's work but very much worth it.

[Rudee]

When I went to my 25 year high school reunion, the majority of people were married and divorced at least once.   Was quite common.

[Man of Steel]

Right??? But many people have so many unspoken and ulterior motives regarding marriage that they try to hide but it's obvious.  I really can't see starting off any other way than as friends...you like to be around your friends because you have a good time together and you can talk about anything.  Why people do not think that's crucial in marriage is beyond me. 

My biggest thing is you have to have the same values and want the same things out of life.  You also need to develop a strong bond because that's what makes the best sex! 

It's work but very much worth it.

I agree completely.

I think today's young women often have unreasonable expectations for men and marriage and are self-absorbed and entitled.  Yet, I think the crop of men women have to choose from are essentially "middle aged adolescents" that exist in a fantasy world of narcissism, pornography, denial and lethargy.

[Ronnie Rep]

I understand the anti-marriage sentiments.

What do y'all think it takes to be successful in a marriage?

Friends, have the same value system, communication, and of course there has to be a physical and sexual attraction.

[Azure]

I agree completely.

I think today's young women often have unreasonable expectations for men and marriage and are self-absorbed and entitled.  Yet, I think the crop of men women have to choose from are essentially "middle aged adolescents" that exist in a fantasy world of narcissism, pornography, denial and lethargy.

I totally agree. Many women I know are too insecure and are looking for someone to rescue them. They also have zero to offer in terms of emotional support. As soon as it's not all about me anymore they become nags and aren't happy anymore. Then they blame the guy for withdrawing.

As far as men are concerned, I think a lot of men don't know how to be men anymore and can you blame them? Society seems to frown on strong men but that's what women really want. A guy who takes charge and doesn't act like he's in junior high school anymore.

Too much immaturity on both sides.

[muscularny]

Friends, have the same value system, communication, and of course there has to be a physical and sexual attraction.

you are setting yourself up for a round two anal deep penetration divorce, stay single and stop being such as desperate romance fool

[Ronnie Rep]

you are setting yourself up for a round two anal deep penetration divorce, stay single and stop being such as desperate romance fool

I am married. Second time for 21 yrs. Didn't think I would ever get married again but it just happened. Been through a lot of stuff together, those things are what kept it together. It hasn't been easy.

[Man of Steel]

I totally agree. Many women I know are too insecure and are looking for someone to rescue them. They also have zero to offer in terms of emotional support. As soon as it's not all about me anymore they become nags and aren't happy anymore. Then they blame the guy for withdrawing.

As far as men are concerned, I think a lot of men don't know how to be men anymore and can you blame them? Society seems to frown on strong men but that's what women really want. A guy who takes charge and doesn't act like he's in junior high school anymore.

Too much immaturity on both sides.

Women do want a strong, loving man, but today's men are such accessorized pansies with smooth hands and salon styled facial hair.  Our fathers, grandfathers and great grandfathers would chew them up and spit them out.

It's funny, but this weekend I came home from the gym.  I had trained back...I was wiped out and it was getting close to dinner.  I knew my daughter would be hungry soon and so would my wife....I'm always hungry LOL.  

I hemmed and hawed a bit and said, "What would you like for dinner?"   She looked me in the face and said, you know what would honestly be great is for you to come home and just kindly yet firmly say, "Sweetie, tonight we're doing this and this.  Just kinda of take charge of the situation...I love that."  

I love that about my wife....stands her ground appropriately yet wants me to lead.

[SF1900]

Women do want a strong, loving man, but today's men are such pansies.  Our fathers, grandfathers and great grandfather would chew them up and spit them out.

It's funny, but this weekend I came home from the gym.  I had trained back...I was wiped out and it was getting close to dinner.  I knew my daughter would be hungry soon and so would my wife....I'm always hungry LOL. 

I hemmed and hawed a bit and said, "What would you like for dinner?"   She looked me in the face and said, you know what would honestly be great is for you to come home and just kindly yet firmly say, "Sweetie, tonight we're doing this and this.  Just kinda of take charge of the situation...I love that."

Your wife sounds like she would be annoying. If you would have taken charge, she would have said, "Ugh, you're so pushy, always telling me what to do." Instead, you ask her what she would like for dinner, and she wants you to "take charge." Sounds like a headcase.

You should divorce her.

[muscularny]

I am married. Second time for 21 yrs. Didn't think I would ever get married again but it just happened. Been through a lot of stuff together, those things are what kept it together. It hasn't been easy.

I heard many men say what you said "Been through a lot of stuff together, those things are what kept it together." I guess this is some highly encoded language only married men understand, as I cannot figure out what exactly that means.

To me it sounds just as stupid as someone saying "I have been driving the same car now for 21 years, It is a nonstop headache (yeah some great times too), however it is those headaches that make me want to continue suffering driving around this car forever".

I do wish you well thou

[Azure]

I am married. Second time for 21 yrs. Didn't think I would ever get married again but it just happened. Been through a lot of stuff together, those things are what kept it together. It hasn't been easy.

A lot of people have no concept of loyalty. The second the shit hits the fan they are out or things stop hunky dory it's all ove. You have to have a deeper connection than just superficial and shallow. I will be honest I was not attracted at all physically at first and it wasn't because of a lack of attractiveness because that's not it at all but I think its what helped the friendship. Plus I came in at a low point so there were more pressing matters and so many just want to be loyal when things are good

I almost quit at first but realized that it was worth it

[Man of Steel]

I am married. Second time for 21 yrs. Didn't think I would ever get married again but it just happened. Been through a lot of stuff together, those things are what kept it together. It hasn't been easy.

No, not easy but you're sticking it out like a grown man does and growing together.  You aren't a coward about things and run for the hills when you break a nail like so some small men do.

[muscularny]

A lot of people have no concept of loyalty. The second the shit hits the fan they are out or things stop hunky dory it's all ove. You have to have a deeper connection than just superficial and shallow. I will be honest I was not attracted at all physically at first and it wasn't because of a lack of attractiveness because that's not it at all but I think its what helped the friendship. Plus I came in at a low point so there were more pressing matters and so many just want to be loyal when things are good

I almost quit at first but realized that it was worth it

yup, everyone preaches what you preach yet most married people especially those under 45 are beyond miserable

[muscularny]

No, not easy but you're sticking it out like a grown man does and growing together.  You aren't a coward about things and run for the hills when you break a nail like so some small men do.

has it ever dawned on you that a woman can leave a man too?

[Man of Steel]

yup, everyone preaches what you preach yet most married people especially those under 45 are beyond miserable

That is unfortunate.  I'd wager it's a product of immaturity, unreasonable expectations and lovelessness.

[SF1900]

has it ever dawned on you that a woman can leave a man too?

In many religious circles, the woman plays a subordinate role to the man, thus they will hardly ever leave a man.

In the real world, it happens all the time.

[Man of Steel]

has it ever dawned on you that a woman can leave a man too?

Of course, but I'm speaking to men in this thread.