Author Topic: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?  (Read 9617 times)

The True Adonis

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #75 on: December 15, 2015, 07:23:36 AM »
Lost what?

They enjoy while it's happening, and when they figure it out, it's not a big deal.

All you guys are overthinking this - it's a holiday tradition that's been in place for a long time, and is generally a positive experience.
:D

http://www.webmd.com/depression/features/emotional-survival-guide-for-holidays

Grape Ape

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #76 on: December 15, 2015, 07:30:03 AM »
:D

http://www.webmd.com/depression/features/emotional-survival-guide-for-holidays

The context of the discussion is Christmas viewed through the lens of the child, and whether believing in icons like Santa is detrimental.

Why post a link to an article that is about adults dealing with the holiday stress.   ??? ???
Y

Yamcha

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #77 on: December 15, 2015, 07:32:59 AM »
The context of the discussion is Christmas viewed through the lens of the child, and whether believing in icons like Santa is detrimental.

Why post a link to an article that is about adults dealing with the holiday stress.   ??? ???

TA has repressed memories

a

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #78 on: December 15, 2015, 07:33:04 AM »
Promoting a lie? Santa is innocence personified. Kids have enough trouble in this horrible world, please don't take that away as well.

The trouble comes from trying to sort through the lies, though.

The True Adonis

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #79 on: December 15, 2015, 07:38:05 AM »
The trouble comes from trying to sort through the lies, though.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/think-well/201209/is-telling-kids-santa-claus-is-real-bad-idea

Is Telling Kids Santa Claus Is Real a Bad Idea?
The case for ending the Santa Claus myth

Posted Sep 28, 2012

 
The problem with Santa Claus is several-fold:

First, it might foster the development of what later in life is called “magical thinking” which is a potentially serious cognitive distortion that many therapist struggle mightily to disabuse their clients of.  Examples of magical thinking include believing in the power of spells, rituals, mind-reading, and a host of superstitions and irrational beliefs that are often at the core of maladies like OCD and various psychoses (now, I’m not implying that magical thinking causes psychiatric illnesses, only that it is often a symptom or feature of them).

So, if apparently knowledgeable, rational, and reality-grounded adults validate the existence of a white-bearded, cheery old man who happily lives at the North Pole with his wife and a work-force of creative elves; who flies across the globe on a sleigh powered by a team of gravity-defying reindeer; and who somehow delivers a mindboggling number of gifts to an equally gigantic number of only deserving children; well, it sounds pretty magical, right?

And if Santa is real, as well intentioned adults repeatedly confirm, then why can’t the bogeyman, or the many other monsters that live under the bed, or in the closet, or in the shadows be real, too?  Yet, adults consistently deny the existence of supernatural monsters while at the same time consistently affirming the existence of magical Santa.

Kids have very fertile and active imaginations.  They just don’t need Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, or the Easter Bunny to stimulate their creativity or cognitive development.  After all, just about any kid can turn a plain, cardboard box into a rocket ship, a race car, or a fort, and have loads of fun entertaining imaginary friends with make believe beverages!

What’s more, it is likely that a reality-based world view is shaped early in life much like other complex social, emotional and cognitive skills.  Obviously, one wouldn’t teach a child the wrong way to read or write or to do math, or how to behave socially, and years later tell him or her the truth of the matter and only then provide the correct information.

Indeed, it is now known that children’s cognitive development is far more complex and starts much sooner than was previously thought. Thus, exposure to reading and arithmetic happens much earlier today than it did in the past because we now know that waiting until a child is five or six to start teaching him or her these skills is a bad idea.  Similarly, it is probable that a child’s deeper, psychological and phenomenological development starts very early, too. Hence, exposing children to systematized, delusional ideas until they are “old enough” might influence their psychological development in ways that are, as yet, unknown but possibly bad.  So, just as we now do with other cognitive lessons, perhaps it might be better to introduce kids to the psychological realities of life (in an age-appropriate way, of course) as early as possible, too.      

Also, there is the matter of trust.  Do we really need to undermine the solidity of children’s precious trust in parents and adults by eventually letting them in on nothing less than a vast, elaborate conspiracy and hoax under the guise of innocent, childhood fun and fantasy?

Finally, what about the multitude of bitterly disappointed, crestfallen children who, after being good all year and then telling Santa “in person” what they really, really want for Christmas, do not get the gift they wished for and expected. This sad, “side-effect” of the Santa myth can only be explained away by more deception from adults, or the dejected children will simply conclude that they just don’t deserve what they wanted the most.   

So maybe it’s time to announce once and for all “No, Virginia, there is no Santa Claus! But Christmas and all of the holidays and observances can still be a time of love, fun, faith, friendship, fellowship, gift giving, charity, and joy.”

Perhaps then, we’ll start a new tradition of teaching children as early as possible the psychologically adaptive world view of reality testing and rational thinking.  Who knows what good might come from that?

Remember:  Think well, act well, feel well, be well!

Copyright by Clifford N. Lazarus, Ph.D.

Yamcha

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #80 on: December 15, 2015, 07:39:36 AM »
Kids shouldn't watch cartoons either, huh?  ???
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The True Adonis

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #81 on: December 15, 2015, 07:42:20 AM »
Kids shouldn't watch cartoons either, huh?  ???
Where is the lie in cartoons?  Are parents telling the children that cartoons are real now too?  ???

The True Adonis

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #82 on: December 15, 2015, 07:48:52 AM »
My daughter is 13 and still believes in santa why would i take that away from her?




No she is 7 and dont believe anymore but christmas is still magical to her and she loves it.
TA serious question how was your christmas as a kid? Did your parents dress up as santa or did they tell you it was nonsense
Christmas with Atheistic Jews.  How does that even work.  HAHAHAHHAAH

I never believed in any nonsense, even as a child.  I was reading encyclopedias in kindergarten and found the natural world amazing.  I remember in Kindergarten I wrote the word "FUCK" in red Crayon in a library book, just to see what would happen.  Good stuff.

Yamcha

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #83 on: December 15, 2015, 07:49:21 AM »
Where is the lie in cartoons?  Are parents telling the children that cartoons are real now too?  ???

Sure, I see mascots of cartoon characters at Six Flags, Disney World, etc.
a

The True Adonis

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #84 on: December 15, 2015, 07:50:18 AM »
Sure, I see mascots of cartoon characters at Six Flags, Disney World, etc.

So you are saying parents are telling children that Tony the Tiger is a real breakfast tiger?   ???

Yamcha

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #85 on: December 15, 2015, 07:55:51 AM »
So you are saying parents are telling children that Tony the Tiger is a real breakfast tiger?   ???

Wow! That's exactly what I was saying!

I'm sorry you grew up in an orphanage and had to live in a broom closet until your butthole was large enough to rent out to the public.
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The Ugly

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #86 on: December 15, 2015, 07:56:59 AM »
At Starbucks, I make them decorate my plain red cup with my new holiday name: "Merry Christmas." Employees don't seem to mind nearly as much as that PC stiff in Seattle, they always laugh it off. Usually call it out the loudest, too.

The True Adonis

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #87 on: December 15, 2015, 07:57:31 AM »
Wow! That's exactly what I was saying!

I'm sorry you grew up in an orphanage and had to live in a broom closet until your butthole was large enough to rent out to the public.
Is that a repressed "Magical" christmas memory you've got there or a fantasy you wish to fulfill one day?

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #88 on: December 15, 2015, 08:00:04 AM »
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/think-well/201209/is-telling-kids-santa-claus-is-real-bad-idea

Is Telling Kids Santa Claus Is Real a Bad Idea?
The case for ending the Santa Claus myth

Posted Sep 28, 2012

 
The problem with Santa Claus is several-fold:

First, it might foster the development of what later in life is called “magical thinking” which is a potentially serious cognitive distortion that many therapist struggle mightily to disabuse their clients of.  Examples of magical thinking include believing in the power of spells, rituals, mind-reading, and a host of superstitions and irrational beliefs that are often at the core of maladies like OCD and various psychoses (now, I’m not implying that magical thinking causes psychiatric illnesses, only that it is often a symptom or feature of them).

So, if apparently knowledgeable, rational, and reality-grounded adults validate the existence of a white-bearded, cheery old man who happily lives at the North Pole with his wife and a work-force of creative elves; who flies across the globe on a sleigh powered by a team of gravity-defying reindeer; and who somehow delivers a mindboggling number of gifts to an equally gigantic number of only deserving children; well, it sounds pretty magical, right?

And if Santa is real, as well intentioned adults repeatedly confirm, then why can’t the bogeyman, or the many other monsters that live under the bed, or in the closet, or in the shadows be real, too?  Yet, adults consistently deny the existence of supernatural monsters while at the same time consistently affirming the existence of magical Santa.

Kids have very fertile and active imaginations.  They just don’t need Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, or the Easter Bunny to stimulate their creativity or cognitive development.  After all, just about any kid can turn a plain, cardboard box into a rocket ship, a race car, or a fort, and have loads of fun entertaining imaginary friends with make believe beverages!

What’s more, it is likely that a reality-based world view is shaped early in life much like other complex social, emotional and cognitive skills.  Obviously, one wouldn’t teach a child the wrong way to read or write or to do math, or how to behave socially, and years later tell him or her the truth of the matter and only then provide the correct information.

Indeed, it is now known that children’s cognitive development is far more complex and starts much sooner than was previously thought. Thus, exposure to reading and arithmetic happens much earlier today than it did in the past because we now know that waiting until a child is five or six to start teaching him or her these skills is a bad idea.  Similarly, it is probable that a child’s deeper, psychological and phenomenological development starts very early, too. Hence, exposing children to systematized, delusional ideas until they are “old enough” might influence their psychological development in ways that are, as yet, unknown but possibly bad.  So, just as we now do with other cognitive lessons, perhaps it might be better to introduce kids to the psychological realities of life (in an age-appropriate way, of course) as early as possible, too.      

Also, there is the matter of trust.  Do we really need to undermine the solidity of children’s precious trust in parents and adults by eventually letting them in on nothing less than a vast, elaborate conspiracy and hoax under the guise of innocent, childhood fun and fantasy?

Finally, what about the multitude of bitterly disappointed, crestfallen children who, after being good all year and then telling Santa “in person” what they really, really want for Christmas, do not get the gift they wished for and expected. This sad, “side-effect” of the Santa myth can only be explained away by more deception from adults, or the dejected children will simply conclude that they just don’t deserve what they wanted the most.   

So maybe it’s time to announce once and for all “No, Virginia, there is no Santa Claus! But Christmas and all of the holidays and observances can still be a time of love, fun, faith, friendship, fellowship, gift giving, charity, and joy.”

Perhaps then, we’ll start a new tradition of teaching children as early as possible the psychologically adaptive world view of reality testing and rational thinking.  Who knows what good might come from that?

Remember:  Think well, act well, feel well, be well!

Copyright by Clifford N. Lazarus, Ph.D.


Yes, people want to make it about Santa, period, but it really isn't.  Right from the start, kids want to know the truth, far more than anything else.  

The Ugly

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #89 on: December 15, 2015, 08:06:54 AM »
Is that a repressed "Magical" christmas memory you've got there or a fantasy you wish to fulfill one day?

Convinced you just like to piss on innocent fun outta some misplaced intellectual arrogance. Your folks killed Santa and God without even letting you figure it out for yourself.

Don't think they did you any favors.

The True Adonis

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #90 on: December 15, 2015, 08:15:59 AM »
Convinced you just like to piss on innocent fun outta some misplaced intellectual arrogance. Your folks killed Santa and God without even letting you figure it out for yourself.

Don't think they did you any favors.
Oh yeah, why is that?

The Ugly

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #91 on: December 15, 2015, 08:19:59 AM »
Oh yeah, why is that?

The pain bleeds through your posts, Adam. Ok to have a good, quiet cry in a dark room. Might be therapeutic.

The True Adonis

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #92 on: December 15, 2015, 08:22:01 AM »
The pain bleeds through your posts, Adam. Ok to have a good, quiet cry in a dark room. Might be therapeutic.
This must be magical thinking on your part.  You want something to be true, yet its not.

The Ugly

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #93 on: December 15, 2015, 08:35:52 AM »
This must be magical thinking on your part.  You want something to be true, yet its not.

Yes, quite common with children. Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny, too, though I was never fully invested in them. Lost a tooth one night and buried it under the pillow without telling Mom. Couldn't say the quarterless underside surprised me much in the morning. No trauma.

Admittedly, Santa's demise was a little tougher to endure. Tell me, did you make a point of ruining the secret for all the other neighborhood kids? You had friends, right?

The True Adonis

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #94 on: December 15, 2015, 08:46:02 AM »
Yes, quite common with children. Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny, too, though, I was never really fully invested in them. Lost a tooth one night and buried it under the pillow without telling Mom. Couldn't say the quarterless underside surprised me much in the morning. No trauma.

Admittedly, Santa's demise was a little tougher to endure. Tell me, did you make a point of ruining the secret for all the other neighborhood kids? You had friends, right?
I remember asking, "What did your parents get you for Christmas" to them, and they just answered it normally.  I don't think they did the whole Santa thing either come to think of it.

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #95 on: December 15, 2015, 08:50:53 AM »
So you are saying parents are telling children that Tony the Tiger is a real breakfast tiger?   ???

My 5-year old daughter asks me questions nonstop about all sorts of things.

We'll watch the new Supergirl show and she'll ask, "Daddy is Supergirl real?"  And I'll tell her, "No baby, Supergirl is pretend, but the woman pretending to be Supergirl is real.....it's just for fun."  Yet, it doesn't stop her at all from "using her heat vision" or "snapping the bad guy"!!   ;D

She also asks me if people on tv are "good guys or bad guys".....believing people are good is very important to her.  Still, I tell her straight when she asks me straight (as is appropriate for her age....we make judgment calls as parents).  Sometimes kiddos need that reassurance.  She also asks me things like, "Daddy are you stronger than Hulk?"  And I'll tell her,"well Hulk is pretend, but if he were real Daddy wouldn't be stronger.  Daddy is strong, but not as strong as Hulk."  

She doesn't question Santa Claus because I assume there's no threat there (at least for most kids this is the case).  She doesn't seek more understanding of Santa Claus right now or need reassurance about his "goodness".  Still, it's become apparent to me as a novice parent that she absolutely begins to understand more and more and put things together.  Yes, she asks me questions and I tell her the truth (as is appropriate for her age of course).  

Eventually she'll ask me or my wife if Santa is real and we'll make a decision at that time if it's time to shoot her straight LOL.  For now she, her cousins, classmates and friends love the imaginative quality of it all so we just allow them to be kids and have fun.  Yet we don't push Santa down her throat or attempt to squash it.

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #96 on: December 15, 2015, 08:53:39 AM »
True Adonis, would you consider yourself as someone who spreads the ultimate truth to people by attempting to dispel them of any magical illusions they may hold?
X

The Ugly

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #97 on: December 15, 2015, 08:54:52 AM »
I remember asking, "What did your parents get you for Christmas" to them, and they just answered it normally.  I don't think they did the whole Santa thing either come to think of it.

Worked out for everyone, then. Probably don't have kids, though, yeah?

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #98 on: December 15, 2015, 08:55:16 AM »
A

The True Adonis

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Re: Why do parents want their children to believe in Santa?
« Reply #99 on: December 15, 2015, 08:56:14 AM »
True Adonis, would you consider yourself as someone who spreads the ultimate truth to people by attempting to dispel them of any magical illusions they may hold?
People think the truth is brutal because they would rather delude themselves with lies.