Crapping in a Public Restroom

[PJim]

I use the disabled at work. I use some toilet tissue with some of that foamy soap that comes out the dispenser and clean the seat with some warm water. Flush that stuff then build a pile to reduce splash. As a previous poster said, you've got to be weary of getting your trousers on the floor.

[ritch]

Music Festival toilets.... *shudder*

"Some girl tried to puke in a public toilet during a big festival, she fell in.."

http://www.dailyfailcenter.com/57077

That is so disgusting.

I wonder how she got home. If she came with me in my car, I'd tell her she's "shit outta luck" to come back with me, lol...

IF... I gotta shit in a public toilet I don't even sit on the seat, oh hell no... I will prepare a bunch of papers to wipe my ass in advance, squat down and EXPLODE!

When in a squated down position after dumping that crap out, you doN't wanna be twisting to get toilet paper.

I'm also lucky my body is trained to shit at given times when I'm always at home.

[wes]

"Everyone is different, but the research agrees we should all poop every day. The range of healthy is typically 1-3 times a day, and it can vary day-to-day. Poop is waste and you need to get rid of it every day to make sure that you're properly removing toxins. Some people even have bowel movements every time they eat."

LOL

[Pray_4_War]

I just assumed most people shit at least 3 times a day.

Nope, I shit once a day and jerk off 3 times.

[El Diablo Blanco]

^^ pretty brutal lol. Someone must have tipped that over, given that she's covered head-to-toe in shit.

looks like some drunk whore who probably fell in head first.

[_aj_]

Follow these instructions for normal public use (work, restaurant) and you'll be OK.


1.  Take toilet paper and do a wipe around the seat.  This will eliminate any pubes and yuck that are on the seat.  Be sure to check that space in the front between the seat too.  Don't want your dick to brush up against a stuck pube when you sit down.
2. Flush that piece
3. Rewipe to get any water that got on seat with the flush.
4.  Throw that piece in bowl, but DO NOT FLUSH - that piece will minimize/eliminate the splash factor when your poop hits the water.
5.  Build the nest - a strip of TP down each side, one across the back to anchor.
6. You may be tempted to sit, but don't - put TP on the FLOOR in front of the bowl.  When you look down, you'll know why, there will be pubes and piss that you don't want to drop your pants down on.  There are always insecure assholes who piss in the bowl and not the urinal.  These are the same people who wear underwear into the showers at gyms.

Also, I don't get who these people are who shed pubes so bad when they drop their pants the floor looks like the one surrounding a barber's chair.  But I am largely suspicious they are foreign.

Tempted to get this tattooed, Navy Mike style.

[_aj_]

She looks pretty hot (minus the shit). Would you be tempted to white-knight her??

That's a lot of baby wipes.

[El Diablo Blanco]

She looks pretty hot (minus the shit). Would you be tempted to white-knight her??

I'd let her ride in the back of my pickup truck.

[Tapeworm]

Not very Clint Eastwood of you.  Harden up and crap like a man, dammit.

[Taffin]

She looks pretty hot (minus the shit).

Ha ha ha ha!  Now that's one of those sentences you don't use every day   

[Chidoman]

Not very Clint Eastwood of you.  Harden up and crap like a man, dammit.

[TuHolmes]

[Rambone]

Follow these instructions for normal public use (work, restaurant) and you'll be OK.


1.  Take toilet paper and do a wipe around the seat.  This will eliminate any pubes and yuck that are on the seat.  Be sure to check that space in the front between the seat too.  Don't want your dick to brush up against a stuck pube when you sit down.
2. Flush that piece
3. Rewipe to get any water that got on seat with the flush.
4.  Throw that piece in bowl, but DO NOT FLUSH - that piece will minimize/eliminate the splash factor when your poop hits the water.
5.  Build the nest - a strip of TP down each side, one across the back to anchor.
6. You may be tempted to sit, but don't - put TP on the FLOOR in front of the bowl.  When you look down, you'll know why, there will be pubes and piss that you don't want to drop your pants down on.  There are always insecure assholes who piss in the bowl and not the urinal.  These are the same people who wear underwear into the showers at gyms.

Also, I don't get who these people are who shed pubes so bad when they drop their pants the floor looks like the one surrounding a barber's chair.  But I am largely suspicious they are foreign.

Standard public shitting procedure

The worst kind of shitting is in port-o-potties. There's a few feet before your chocolate torpedo hits the blue liquid and it's a nightmare when it creates a bidet effect and splashes your brown eye with that blue liquid which is combined with piss and shit from 50 different people

[Lustral]

You will fuck disgusting fat women, yet not shit in public toilets?

What is the issue? As long as the seat is not covered in piss, I can prevent my bellend from hitting inside of toiler and there is paper - fuck it.

I'm either carefree about where I shit or I just randomly need to shit more often than other people here.

[Thong Maniac]

You will fuck disgusting fat women, yet not shit in public toilets?

What is the issue? As long as the seat is not covered in piss, I can prevent my bellend from hitting inside of toiler and there is paper - fuck it.

I'm either carefree about where I shit or I just randomly need to shit more often than other people here.

yeah wtf man i totally agree. this no shit in public behavior is insane to me.
1. more germs on a phone than a toilet seat, or even the faucet handles at the sink
2. even if you sit in ecoli, you already have ecoli and a host of other bacteria in your asshole. you cant get sick
3. if anything, not touching the door handle or other things with your hand is what matters most
4. your ass is a vile, bacteria ridden cess pool...a public toilet is not gonna make it worse
5. stop being beta and just shit. i dont even use covers or toilet paper to surround the seat. its meaningless and pointless. sure, now one likes sitting in piss (which is sterile fyi), so wipe it up if its on the seat, but thats all thats needed

[Lustral]

yeah wtf man i totally agree. this no shit in public behavior is insane to me.
1. more germs on a phone than a toilet seat, or even the faucet handles at the sink
2. even if you sit in ecoli, you already have ecoli and a host of other bacteria in your asshole. you cant get sick
3. if anything, not touching the door handle or other things with your hand is what matters most
4. your ass is a vile, bacteria ridden cess pool...a public toilet is not gonna make it worse
5. stop being beta and just shit. i dont even use covers or toilet paper to surround the seat. its meaningless and pointless. sure, now one likes sitting in piss (which is sterile fyi), so wipe it up if its on the seat, but thats all thats needed

When my stomach grumbles on gym floor or, say, on a long haul car trip and I see a petrol station is 2km away, do you think I give the slightest shit about germs or e coli? I just want to not shit my pants. It has to be one of the strongest urges we get as humans.

[Thong Maniac]

When my stomach grumbles on gym floor or, say, on a long haul car trip and I see a petrol station is 2km away, do you think I give the slightest shit about germs or e coli? I just want to not shit my pants. It has to be one of the strongest urges we get as humans.

i actually opt for the stall that had the most recent shitter, that way the seat is still warm...i shit you not

[Never1AShow]

Another classic sign of weakness.  I seek out public toilets to mark my territory.  So many weak wusses here.

[foozle]

Another classic sign of weakness.  I seek out public toilets to mark my territory.  So many weak wusses here.

You seek out public toilets to find men, so you can mark your territory by sticking your fingers in the bowl then drawing shit circles around each other's mouths so you can pretend it's another dudes asshole while you make out and fondle each other's balls gently, as if you're rotating to eggs around in your palm and don't want to break them, you dick loobing foreskin nibbling nut knobber.

Eat a dick.  I mean another dick, you gaybo.

[Never1AShow]

You seek out public toilets to find men, so you can mark your territory by sticking your fingers in the bowl then drawing shit circles around each other's mouths so you can pretend it's another dudes asshole while you make out and fondle each other's balls gently, as if you're rotating to eggs around in your palm and don't want to break them, you dick loobing foreskin nibbling nut knobber.

Eat a dick.  I mean another dick, you gaybo.

I can see you are scared to shit outside of your home.  You probably don't eat spicy food either.  And use hand sanitizer.  And wear a scarf.

[ritch]

She looks pretty hot (minus the shit). Would you be tempted to white-knight her??

LOL!
If she's drunk, she's gonna be hanging on to you and stuff. Covered in shit, that would be totally disgusting. Also, drunk people for some reason always wanna touch your face, that means there will be real life human shit on your face which could then get in your mouth. The only way for that not to be felt is to be as hammered as that chick.

I wonder if it would make her less or more open to butt sex after something like that happening to her?

[ritch]

i actually opt for the stall that had the most recent shitter, that way the seat is still warm...i shit you not

Bahahahaha!!!!!

Can picture you standing outside the stall waiting for the guy to finish then rush right in while the seat is still hot!

[TuHolmes]

Haha, gotta take the rough with the smooth, Rich. Sure she's covered in stinking shit just now, but get her home, jump in the shower together with a bucket of bleach....after that it's game on.

You are gonna let her in your car?!

No. Fuckin. Way.

Had a drunk chick in my car once. She threw up. I was fuming. Broke up with her and took the car to a detail place the next morning.

How dare she disrespect what I work for.

[cart@@n]

[TuHolmes]

Nah i'd chuck her in the back of a pick-up truck if i had one, though.

In reality, i'd actually be too disgusted to get within ten feet of her...but i'd probably still have a hell of a wank back in my tent, imagining what could have been if i had no sense of smell or self respect.

Ok. Maybe if I had a pickup and a bed liner. Then I could hose her down before letting her in my place.