having kids....i still dont know the right move

[Grape Ape]

So, yeah, it pans out differently for everyone.

Undeniable.

[SF1900]

You found a woman like that and you're having "second thoughts"?

Major life decisions, such as kids, occupation, religion, etc., are often deal breakers, no matter how good looking the person is.

[Radical Plato]

So fucking wrong.

You were kicked off facebook.  That's you.

It's just that for someone who was trying to convey the joys of parenthood, your post wreaked of anger and resentment, especially towards the childless getbiggers. But hey, what do I know, I am just a man enjoying the fuck out of my life doing whatever it is I please.  I am just about to go for another bike ride, so more videos later.  Enjoy snot wiping Happy Dad.

[Radical Plato]

Ask him about the time the police sectioned him to a psychiatric ward.

Wasn't his fault of course 

It wasn't too bad, can only hold you for 24 hours unless a psychiatrist deems you mentally unfit. Plus I got some free drugs out of it and I met some absolute characters.

I have always enjoyed the maxim  'A sane person to an insane society must appear insane.' - Kurt Vonnegut

[BIG ACH]

 I have a Two year old with another one on the way...

Here is how it went for me...

Went from sorta wanting...

To not wanting....

To wanting....

Had the baby...

First three months I wanted to do like the movie "300" and kick the kid out, give her a stick to defend herself from wolves!  It was hard on me...

3 months onwards.... I'm head over heels in love with my daughter (who is a total daddys girl now) and i would never ever want to go back to my life before.

Having kids is hard as HELL!!! Especially the first three months, that's extra hell... I was asking myself why do people do this a second and third time??? Why!!! All a baby does the first three months, is sleep, eat, shit and cry... And cry and cry and cry and cry... And then you cry because you want to throw yourself off of a building.  Those first three months you give give give give give and you get absolutely nothing in return.... Then all of a sudden at around the 3-4 month mark something happens, a switch goes off in the baby, and everything you've given comes back to you 10 folds!  You get this love that you have never felt before and you fall in love with the baby.... Imagine the one thing your currently love more than anything else, it could be your car, your wife, your mother,  Big Ramy, whatever... But imagine that love... And multiply it by 1,000,000,000.... That's the love you start to feel for your child after the first three months and it only grows exponentially from there.

Look, there is nothing wrong with not wanting kids, and if it's not for you is not for you, and that's ok, but speaking from my own experience I went from hating being a father the first three months to never not wanting to be one.

It's hard and its life changing, but if you and your wife are in a good place together and in a stable marriage, you'll be able to do a great job.  Just remember, guys are different... You'll never feel ready to be a father, I know I didn't. But I love it!!!

[Tapeworm]

And cry and cry and cry and cry...

Coming to terms with those schnoz genetics, no doubt!

[Primemuscle]

anyone here have kids, but really didnt want them? if so, did you have them because your woman wanted to?

im seriously at zero hour here boys. gotta either tell me wife no i cant do it, and get a divorce and leave her screwed...or give in to her wants and have a kid (s).

having a kid in my situation is the easy way out. but, i dont want to take that route if i still dont think its right for me. im so confused. i have no interest in kids, but i can see how it would be fulfilling too. ahhh i hate this situation so much

Guys often don't have much interest in having kids until later when they start to become little images of themselves. My wife wanted 5 kids, I gave her two. Two turned out to be just right. -No regrets.

One concern is that it doesn't seem to be a big deal you that refusing to have kids means you'll get divorced. If your willing to end a marriage over this, it may not be much of a marriage anyway. If that's the case, it would be better to not have kids. You're wife would be "screwed" a lot more if you leave her after she has your kids.

[Grape Ape]

It's just that for someone who was trying to convey the joys of parenthood, your post wreaked of anger and resentment, especially towards the childless getbiggers. But hey, what do I know, I am just a man enjoying the fuck out of my life doing whatever it is I please.  I am just about to go for another bike ride, so more videos later.  Enjoy snot wiping Happy Dad.

Actually, if you read it objectively, you'd see I said it's a personal choice, and I don't begrudge those who don't.  One thing I don't do is try to push my personal experience on others and say it's the right way to do things.  See the difference?

But, go back to "enjoying the fuck out yourself", which the only real evidence we have of what the means is being banned from facebook for stalking, detained in a pysch ward, and getting booted off a bodybuilding message board and having to change your name a few times.  Rock on.

[SF1900]

Actually, if you read it objectively, you'd see I said it's a personal choice, and I don't begrudge those who don't.  One thing I don't do is try to push my personal experience on others and say it's the right way to do things.  See the difference?

But, go back to "enjoying the fuck out yourself", which the only real evidence we have of what the means is being banned from facebook for stalking, detained in a pysch ward, and getting booted off a bodybuilding message board and having to change your name a few times.  Rock on.

Yes, you know someone's life is pathetic when they stalk women on FB and get banned. Very sad.

[Grape Ape]

Yes, you know someone's life is pathetic when they stalk women on FB and get banned. Very sad.

And brag about it here.

[DanielPaul]

I absolutely love being a dad, no one will ever come close to making you feel as great as your kids will.  As a matter of fact I enjoy it so much I have 5.

[Tapeworm]

You'd probably have one of those childhood obesity kids that throws tantrums in stores and strikes out playing tee-ball. 

[cephissus]

You'd probably have one of those childhood obesity kids that throws tantrums in stores and strikes out playing tee-ball.  

What the fuck us the point of such a spiteful comment?  Do you have a personal beef with thong, or something?

I never used to give a second thought when I typed out posts like yours, but once you're in the spotlight, you start to wonder where shit like this comes from.

Not to single you out or anything... Lots of weird digs at thong in this thread, even nestled into the 'well-meaning' replies.

[Radical Plato]

Yes I do.  I'm in the "best thing ever" camp.

Did I know it at before?  No.  Nobody does.  Didn't really care for kids much before either.  It's cliche, but you don't know until you do it.

It's personal choice and I don't begrudge those who don't go that route.  But they need to shut the fuck up when giving advice they've garnered through their "friends".   They probably would be lousy at it anyway.  But all this not being able to train, work, have fun, etc is bullshit.  Under normal circumstances, it is what you make it to be.

Actually, if you read it objectively, you'd see I said it's a personal choice, and I don't begrudge those who don't.  One thing I don't do is try to push my personal experience on others and say it's the right way to do things.  See the difference?

But, go back to "enjoying the fuck out yourself", which the only real evidence we have of what the means is being banned from facebook for stalking, detained in a pysch ward, and getting booted off a bodybuilding message board and having to change your name a few times.  Rock on.

But asking for advice on getbig?   Speaks volumes to me.

Either way, man up, make your own decision, and live with it

Yeah, sounds like you don't begrudge childless men.

I never pushed my position at all, merely stated my opinion and I certainly didn't say that men with children should shut the fuck up when giving advice because they will only lie through their teeth because they aren't allowed to admit how much their lives were ruined by children, not to mention how they are now ruining some other poor childs life in the process. 

And for the record I have never been booted of this board, merely changed my handle. 

 But look I forgive your angry outbursts, you're a dad who is struggling with Fatherhood and I wouldn't want to enrage you any further, if only for the sake of your poor children.

[Radical Plato]

Yes, you know someone's life is pathetic when they stalk women on FB and get banned. Very sad.

Oh, I troll women here also, you are a classic example. 

[da_vinci]

face is a 7, body is 10. makes more than me by a mile. i dont even think about doing better. i just want to be happy, and not sure if kids will make me happy or not. maybe id be happy living in the woods in a tiny ass trailor with no kids or woman...i dunno man

You most probably won't be happy due to kids, more likely pretty miserable. Make money, not kids, that MAY increase your chances of being happy and at ease in life. And one more thing - if you even have this question - than the answer is NO. I too have a great gf, and she's turning the tides to that direction slowly, I'm 30, nowhere near even considering kids, plenty of men would be happier than ever to have kids with her and she would be a great mother, so if I decide that I'm not in for the long run (and kids obviously means just that) - I'll make and end to it, cold turkey. It is especially difficult when one realizes that the choice of pussy is so overhelming and generally just understand life a lot more than before. I personally do not believe in "parenthood" at all, very few men are built for that, most just care about a certain pussy and being able to fuck it regulary. 

[Kim Jong Bob]

Thing with kids is that whek you once get one you will love it more then anything and you will not miss your old life (if you are a normal person, i was 28 and we had not planned to get one, first we where talking about abortion cause we both didnt think we where ready but finally after alot of talking decided to keep it and it was my best decision i have ever made. I cant imagine living without my daughter...we separated when she was 2.5 and now i have her eow. The week i hahe her im a responsible father and the next week i go to tinder and fuck sluts raw and drink and to what ever i want.

[38-26-40]

I think that no one is ever ready for kids. However, if you know they're something you want, you just gotta take the plunge. They'll be there for you later in life when you need them  lol

[Radical Plato]

I think that no one is ever ready for kids. However, if you know they're something you want, you just gotta take the plunge. They'll be there for you later in life when you need them   lol

That's a joke right.  That rarely happens in the West, children abandon their parents and they often die alone after a long bout of loneliness.

[DroppingPlates]

I think that no one is ever ready for kids. However, if you know they're something you want, you just gotta take the plunge. They'll be there for you later in life when you need them  lol

Depends on how you define 'ready'. Sure, it will be a completely new experience in someone's life, but I believe that a wise, caring & responsible person can be ready for this.

[da_vinci]

i feel ya man, your definitely rare. lots of guys get trapped and lead thr life they think they are supposed to live. marriage was as far as i think im willing to go. kids, not so sure. funny how no fathers have commented in this thread.

That's because very few experienced/older men in your life will put a hand on your shoulder and honestly say...."son........the best thing in life that I did was marrying and having kids.".

[da_vinci]

Thing with kids is that whek you once get one you will love it more then anything and you will not miss your old life (if you are a normal person, i was 28 and we had not planned to get one, first we where talking about abortion cause we both didnt think we where ready but finally after alot of talking decided to keep it and it was my best decision i have ever made. I cant imagine living without my daughter...we separated when she was 2.5 and now i have her eow. The week i hahe her im a responsible father and the next week i go to tinder and fuck sluts raw and drink and to what ever i want.

The thing is.................your daughter will feel the consequences without any doubt. It surprises me when some divorced parents say "I do not regret it at all". Don't be so sure your kids wont.

It is an egoistical thing over all. Merely the genes in a genome (not a genome as a whole btw, but single/separate genes) striving to survive. Pretty fucked up and pretty interesting at the same time. Humans are putting way too much emphasis on it tho', it's an automatic behavior mostly, and most people realize it after the fact (to be honest - most doesn't realize anything at all..) and then try to adapt to it.

[Radical Plato]

The thing is.................your daughter will feel the consequences without any doubt. It surprises me when some divorced parents say "I do not regret it at all". Don't be so sure your kids wont.

It is an egoistical thing over all. Merely the genes in a genome (not a genome as a whole btw, but single/separate genes) striving to survive. Pretty fucked up and pretty interesting at the same time. Humans are putting way too much emphasis on it tho', it's an automatic behavior mostly, and most people realize it after the fact (to be honest - most doesn't realize anything at all..) and then try to adapt to it.

Essentially it is a biological trick that overrides the intellectual faculties.  It's ingenuous really, the sexual drive provides an extreme reward to the self seeking individual only to lump them with something that requires them to forgo their own needs and interests.  Of course people will pat themselves on the back for this and consider themselves better people, but what alternative do they have, spend the rest of their lives berating themselves for being tricked by their own self.

[38-26-40]

I blame the parents for raising their kids to be selfish, parent abandoning, mofos.

By ready I mean, I know for sure 100% I WANT kids. But do I get nervous about it from time to time? Of course! One might say no matter how sure I am about kids, it's inevitable that I will have those feelings. Which then one might translate as "no one is ever ready." My professor used to say "you can't be ready or prepared for something in which you have no experience in." We're talking mentally ready.

You might think the wise, caring and responsible person is ready, but ask them and see what they say.

[da_vinci]

Essentially it is a biological trick that overrides the intellectual faculties.  It's ingenuous really, the sexual drive provides an extreme reward to the self seeking individual only to lump them with something that requires them to forgo their own needs and interests.  Of course people will pat themselves on the back for this and consider themselves better people, but what alternative do they have, spend the rest of their lives berating themselves for being tricked by their own self.

A person will value anything after putting much time, effort, health and money in it. It could be a pile of shit, but if that's a pile of shit that took ten years to build and sustain - it will be a "great pile of shit" for a builder lol