having kids....i still dont know the right move

[Tapeworm]

I always wanted to deliver a breach baby while we're all trapped in a caved in tunnel during a natural disaster.  And as I'm walking away they're all "Omg, wait!  What's your name?  We want to name our baby after you!"  

I turn and say, "You look after that little bundle of joy, now."  Then I just walk off into the unlit tunnel.



Presumably I find a way out down there because it would be pretty anticlimactic to wander back through again 20 minutes later.

[Grape Ape]

Are his children force to believe what he believes?

Epic Star Wars obsession on the brain.

[Man of Steel]

MOS, do you take your kids to Church?  Are you allowing them to choose their own beliefs and religion?

Yes and yes. 

[Howard]

I always wanted to deliver a breach baby while we're all trapped in a caved in tunnel during a natural disaster.  And as I'm walking away they're all "Omg, wait!  What's your name?  We want to name our baby after you!"  

I turn and say, "You look after that little bundle of joy, now."  Then I just walk off into the unlit tunnel.



Presumably I find a way out down there because it would be pretty anticlimactic to wander back through again 20 minutes later.

LOL, fun, that last one about finding your way out is hilarious 

[Howard]

Rookie advices on get big.  Knock her up.  First of all it could take you a while to get her preggo.  You never know if your boys can swim until you try to knock up a chick.  If eventually she does get pregnant, wait until she's about 7 months in and pay a homeless man $20 to run up and dropkick her stomach causing a miscarriage.  You fulfilled your part and now you have an excuse to delay having a second try.

Option 2: Secretly get a vasectomy and don't tell her.  Fuck her raw and never worry about knocking her up.

option 3 - all anal, all the time = natures best form of birth control .
Now get to work stretching her fart locker

FYI< I like option 2 above.

[Raymondo]

Yes and yes. 

LOL and LOL.

[Man of Steel]

LOL and LOL.

If you had replied with "LOL n LOL" you would've had a pallindrome.....next time.

[38-26-40]

good post missy

Thank you! 

[38-26-40]

My mother-in-law told me and my wife years ago (when we first got married) to wait and wait until we can't take it anymore to have kiddos.  Now, I think we waited a touch long LOL, but that's alright.   

I think what you wrote is dead on.  I am a daddy and I still get overwhelmed at times and I just have one kiddo, but what a joy that little girl is.  She's gonna be 6 years old and she's amazing.  To this day I still can't believe "I'm a daddy", but I wouldn't trade it.

I get to enjoy moments like the following with her.....just dancing  :

Thank you! Time for number 2  beautiful picture!!! Great moment captured.

[SF1900]

LOL and LOL.

I let my kids decide their own religion, but I take them to church haha lol.

The environment is a powerful thing! When you inundate your child with a particular religion, there is a good probability that they will follow that religion. Neuroscience has shown the way environmental experiences shapes the brain, especially during the younger years. Cognitive schemas, which is a framework for how we see the world, ourselves, and others, is often determined by early experiences and their effects on brain development (i.e., Attachment Theory).  As such, indoctrinating a kid with enough of ONE type of religion, you really give them a slim chance in making up their own mind.

I am not speaking as an atheist, but as a "scientist." There is overwhelming evidence that environmental experiences in children will have a drastic impact on their brain development, which will then determine their ideals, values, beliefs (religion), etc.

[da_vinci]

If you achieve that without alcohol and drugs, what's wrong with that.   

You're still intoxicated, inadequate and smarter ppl will use that against you. At the very least. The worst is when some figure it's all bullshit, a mental breakdown can happen with bad consequences. BUT - I'm all for a religion as a substitute to alcohol or psychotic drugs, was merely saying that weak ppl produce other weak ppl, and they suffer as much usualy, while these who produce them feel like they are "accomplishing" something, when it's often a vice versa situation. Only a select few should reproduce, but the funny thing is - these usualy doesn't want to, while the fools and various kinds of degenerates eagerly spread their genes like cockroaches.

[Howard]

I'm 36, I went to a party on the weekend because one of my mates is having a kid (year out of leaving his wife too), another had two kids, a few others had kids. No thanks. I had the chance in the past to be tied down and married a few times which would have ended up with kids and I would not be in the position today making the money I am and being able to still train if i'd done that. I wouldn't have the money and would be fucking stressed out big time, probably not training much, wasting time on bullshit things I don't want to do. But it's up to you everyone is different.

Good thoughtful, honest post!

In my opinion, marriage doesn't have to automatically result in having kids.
My wife and I were both divorced , never had kids and met later in life.
We both had decent careers and I consider her my partner in life.

Having said that, plenty of people have a burning desire to have children .
Being a parent is one the of the greatest joys they will ever  experience.

It's a deeply personal question and only YOU know if it's right.

[Howard]

1. is unlikely.
I'd go with 3.
Everything else is unacceptable.

That's exactly what I did and ended up getting married with my dream girl, later in life .
Despite some goofy trolling we are still happily married.

[Howard]

Man, I've been there. tough tough spot dude.  I chose no kids, no marriage and relationship eventually failed.  I am soon to be 43 and question if I did the right thing sometimes.  And you know what I think for men like us you are damned if you do damned if you don't, whatever decision you make will possibly feel like the wrong one at times and the right one at others. Just be sure whatever decision you make to commit to it, wavering in your decision will only torment you. (PS, my girlfriend had huge huge titties, trust me, they eventually sag - a lot)

My ex went on to start banging a 25 year old and he can have her.  After 12 years I had enough and she busted my balls so much it was a relief to see the back of her.  Some days I get sentimental and think of her but not often anymore.  I live alone now and for the most part I really love it, but this too has it's moments.  Life wasn't meant to be easy dude.

I got divorced from my 1st wife for the same reason and it was tough.
Today, I have zero regrets and know I did the right thing instead of just going with the flow.

I spent several nights alone and wondering WTF !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then, I was driving into work and the sun was just coming up .
Damn, it looked pretty.
I accelerated on to the hwy and just knew I was going to be ok from that pt on.

[Kim Jong Bob]

Its funny when people like radical plato who lives in a basement more or less calls people idiots because they got kids....he is so miswrable of his own life that it didnt turned out as he tought so raggin on others that have the life he imagined makes him feel better


Look at dp  he totaly understands why people want kids but he knows its just not for him and i totally understand people like him. Nothing wrong with  not wanting to have having kidd

[Howard]

thanks man. been there done that on giving it time. pretty much ultimatum time now for her. she is barely 30, but she thinks she needs to do it now. ive been wishy washy on it for the last year or so. she is tired of the shit.

Holy shit, that was the exact same age my 1st wife started in on me.
Like you I waffled for a bit and really loved her.
But here's the final deal, had we stayed married:
I didn't want to be a father and would have been forced into it and felt resentment.
She would have been forced to give up on motherhood and resented the hell out of me.

The only sensible thing to do was treat each other with dignity , respect and get a  divorce.
I never had regrets once I made the call.

[Howard]

Why the fuck would you marry a woman you didn't intend to impregnate??

I don't think anyone should get married and have kids. 100% serious
I enjoy being partners and am happily married to my current wife .

Why does marriage have to result in kids?

[Howard]

I have a Two year old with another one on the way...

Here is how it went for me...

Went from sorta wanting...

To not wanting....

To wanting....

Had the baby...

First three months I wanted to do like the movie "300" and kick the kid out, give her a stick to defend herself from wolves!  It was hard on me...

3 months onwards.... I'm head over heels in love with my daughter (who is a total daddys girl now) and i would never ever want to go back to my life before.

Having kids is hard as HELL!!! Especially the first three months, that's extra hell... I was asking myself why do people do this a second and third time??? Why!!! All a baby does the first three months, is sleep, eat, shit and cry... And cry and cry and cry and cry... And then you cry because you want to throw yourself off of a building.  Those first three months you give give give give give and you get absolutely nothing in return.... Then all of a sudden at around the 3-4 month mark something happens, a switch goes off in the baby, and everything you've given comes back to you 10 folds!  You get this love that you have never felt before and you fall in love with the baby.... Imagine the one thing your currently love more than anything else, it could be your car, your wife, your mother,  Big Ramy, whatever... But imagine that love... And multiply it by 1,000,000,000.... That's the love you start to feel for your child after the first three months and it only grows exponentially from there.

Look, there is nothing wrong with not wanting kids, and if it's not for you is not for you, and that's ok, but speaking from my own experience I went from hating being a father the first three months to never not wanting to be one.

It's hard and its life changing, but if you and your wife are in a good place together and in a stable marriage, you'll be able to do a great job.  Just remember, guys are different... You'll never feel ready to be a father, I know I didn't. But I love it!!!

Good honest, sincere post from a man who loves being a father.
Glad you added the stress and sleepless nights as a reality to experience along with the love.

[Howard]

x2

Why the fuck would you commit to a serious relationship unless you plan on starting a family?
Surely you are aware that the majority of women will want kids sooner or later?

I disagree 100%.
To me, it makes more sense to become loving partners in the game of life.
Kids are work, $ and stress.
Why not avoid that and cherish loving another productive person you want to build a life with?

[Grape Ape]

In my opinion, marriage doesn't have to automatically result in having kids.
My wife and I were both divorced , never had kids and met later in life.
We both had decent careers and I consider her my partner in life.

Having said that, plenty of people have a burning desire to have children .
Being a parent is one the of the greatest joys they will ever  experience.

It's a deeply personal question and only YOU know if it's right.

[da_vinci]

I spent several nights alone and wondering WTF !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then, I was driving into work and the sun was just coming up .
Damn, it looked pretty.
I accelerated on to the hwy and just knew I was going to be ok from that pt on.

Lol.. that's the spirit. Usualy how it goes for me when it's a "bad" time.

[DroppingPlates]

Its funny when people like radical plato who lives in a basement more or less calls people idiots because they got kids....he is so miswrable of his own life that it didnt turned out as he tought so raggin on others that have the life he imagined makes him feel better


Look at dp  he totaly understands why people want kids but he knows its just not for him and i totally understand people like him. Nothing wrong with  not wanting to have having kidd

Thank you, I appreciate that. Yeah, I'm more and more aware of the fact we all follow our own individual route, based on a set of variables like genetics/personality, instinct, upbringing, friends, etc.., I don't have a problem with people with a child wish, as long as they're wise and responsible enough to take good care.

[Radical Plato]

Grape Ape: "I don't judge those who choose to remain childless, but they are all selfish SOBs."   LOL

Just messin withcha. 

I always thought having children in this day and age was the most selfish thing anybody could do.  It isn't like we need more people and the resources already stretched thin to the ground now, so if people aren't having them to benefit the rest of us, who are they having them for?  Remaining childless is an altruistic act.

[Radical Plato]

I love it when two guys have to tell people how smart/innovative they are by naming themselves after "thinkers", etc. (Plato and Da Vinci) yet the majority of posts by them sound like they want to shoot themselves in the forehead, etc. and give out the advice/thoughts of a teenage emo.

There just names on a forum dude, only idiots take them seriously.  And I haven't been handing out advice in this thread, just stating my opinion, so not sure what you have been reading and none of which would indicate a desire to shoot myself in the head, quite the opposite.  And the only ones sounding suicidal/homicidal are some of the parents, which is to be expected of course.  

[NickEdge779]

I really want to have a son some day, but I don't want to get married ever. I'm a loner at heart, and never want to deal with living with a woman and have my life controlled and do things I don't want to do to please my wife. I hope it is possible to adopt a child as a single man.