To be fair, the Irish are a unique race. The befreckled male is easily identified by his principle attributes of inebriated languor and ceaseless lamentation. The female, although volatile, is easily induced to amorous coupling in any location, private or public, by a spare ration of soda bread. How the island's inhabitants sustain themselves for so many decades following the departure of their teeth in the 25th year of life remains unknown. Intellect: Mongoloid. Frugality: Yiddish. Genitals: Asiatic.