I went to the doctor when I was in the UK because I had a spot on my dick, at the base, below the condom line, so I was freaking out.
I get undressed, as instructed by the nurse, and sit there waiting for this NHS sonofabitch, with no pants on, for about 30 minutes. The doctor comes in and he's a dude, all the lights are florescent with about 10 million candlepower, and it's freezing. He unceremoniously grabs my shriveled, frozen weiner and stretches it out to have a good look and there we stand for awhile. He lets out a thoughtful hmm, reaches in with his other hand, and pops it like a zit, which is what it turned out to be. A zit on my chilly little flaccid hampster penis.
Technically he was a very handsome man. I hope he didn't take it personally.