If she divorces you - say goodbye to everything, sleeping on your mom's couch or in your buddy's garage, your kids hating you, etc. All for a hook up? Go take a cold shower and stick your head in a bucket of ice. Smarten up.
Unfortunately, most men don't believe any of this stuff until it happens to them. Social programming and herd mentality has them by the balls. Critical thinkers are very far and few between.
That's great? Because I was waiting for you to render a judgement?
I've refrained from comment to respect Al's request , despite reading/skimming the thread.Now, due to my respect for him as fellow man, I must respond. Plenty of married men and woman "cheat" and have sexual affairs outside of marriage.Al is no different then a lot of other guys in similar situations.The "holier then thou" moral crusaders make me roll my eyes This is the same "get big" that posted shopped pics of TBombz and WYHI threads.Regardless of your view on "cheating", give Al some credit for being honest and candid.Obviously, he knows the risks and has some guilt and hesitations to "hook up".Like it or not here's my objective 2 cents on this issue:1. Hey Al ,don't feel guilty for these feelings and urges. It's normal and even expected in most men ( and some woman).2. In my OPINION, having a quick affair won't fix things. I suspect, the real issue goes much deeper.Maybe, just maybe, you're bored with the marriage and want a new life?Only you can know that BUT you need to be honest with yourself. 3. If you opt out and decide to get divorced, don't call her names, or try to "over explain" it to your kids.Be honest , take your kids aside and assure them , it's not their fault and they need to love their mom.It will be sad and pull on your heart strings in the short term. I never had kids, so I never had to deal with this, BUT you will.If it's right, you'll thank GOD you had the courage to leave in the long run.Remember, you can still be a good father, after a divorce.I'm blessed to have a wonderful woman now as my wife. It wasn't easy getting here, but I'm glad I didn't stay stuckwith one that wasn't right. NOBODY is fulfilled when you endure life as a walking emotional zombie.4. Ok, so maybe you really like married life, and simply need to spice it up.If that's the case, then do what you gotta do. Prepare, plan ahead, be organized and do your best to keep it separate from your home life.It's YOUR life , so do what you need and only do what you can live with .All the best to you, regardless of what you decide,Howard
That seeking approval for your vile actions is the entire reason for your post. You want someone to say it is okay. It ain't. It's a super dirtbag move. You have heard from many. You'll end up broke and with kids who hate you. If you aren't a sociopath then you'll eventually hate yourself.
I've refrained from comment to respect Al's request , despite reading/skimming the thread.Now, due to my respect for him as fellow man, I must respond. Plenty of married men and woman "cheat" and have sexual affairs outside of marriage.Al is no different then a lot of other guys in similar situations.
One minor detail is that I haven't actually cheated on my wife.
So Howard, I'm one of the (if not chief) moral crusader that elicits eye rolls. So be it.I like you Howard, but instead of a simple dismissal of my words like so many others do (via jokes, memes or insults) how about you tell me why you and other men are unable to muster the strength to not cheat yet infer or directly call me weak when I'm fully able to?Further I'm not seeking an analysis of why MOS can. I'm seeking someone with backbone to fully defend why they can't.
Better think long and hard on it.
He can speak for himself, but I'll respond to this as it relates to me. I didn't get from his post that he was calling you weak (maybe he's done so in the past), what I got from it was more a dismissal of the idea that no one is tempted within their marriage and affairs are these rare things that only the truly monstrous engage in as opposed infidelity LITERALLY being the most common reason marriages fall apart. A lot of the outrage on that particular note goes over my head because you just have to take a casual glance around to see that marriage, partner's feeling and childrens' feelings aren't these sacrosanct things that are the only things people consider when deciding how they go about their lives. I didn't respond to or criticize any of your posts (with the exception of 1) because the "just believe in Jesus" message isn't something that would be helpful to me, but objectively I don't think there's anything wrong with it if it helps you maintain a solid relationship with your wife.
I don't have kids,Now, for me, I never wanted kids BUT know the gravity of that responsibility.
Hence the thread. Honestly, if you go throughout this thread, it's clear that I'm not inclined to actually cheat on my wife and that I'm the type of guy who lives in his head when it comes to trying to work through issues. That being said, everything I posted in this thread is honest. I engaged with anyone who had reasonable, thoughtful input in this thread are there were a lot of really thoughtful, interesting posts. They weren't all relevant to me though.
LOL, good one Obviously, this won't apply to everyone who has kids, but here goes:I was visiting an old friend I grew up and played sports with gr 4-12.He has 2 kids , both in HS at the time. I was telling him some crap about my married life and then said ;" Ya know, we married guys are all in the same boat."He shoots me this shocked look and says ;" No bro, you're the only one I know in the boat with no kids.Kids just suck the life out of ya" I look at him puzzled , so he smiles, chuckles and just nods his head.I know people love their kids, but, most seem very stressed from raising them.
How about cutting some slack for the retarded , ok
I agree, I got carried away and need to STFU. I just deleted my lengthy posts and simply wish Al well.
I'm not specifically calling out or accusing Howard of anything...his post was just the platform for a general call out because I like Howard and there aren't hard feelings between us.I read your reply and I understand it.So what's the answer to my question about the inability to cheat?
No, I can be fair and objective on most things, even myself LOL.Ok, in summary, maybe the whole idea of lifetime monogamy and being totally contentwith just the same wife, is a myth ( for most men?)
I'm not sure how to respond to this. I didn't criticize you for being faithful. If you're implying that you attribute the strength of your marriage to your faith, all I can say is that there are plenty of people who consider themselves religious who cheat on their spouses or get divorces. So if that's your point, I disagree with it. Pulling it back a bit, you're asking for someone to defend their personal choices about how they live their life. It's something that is not only unnecessary, but impossible, since it's an objective matter between people who likely have a different set of standards.
