PL,
I commend you for going your own way but how do you get out of the family get-together?
What do the relatives think about you not showing up? I get it...you don't care.
Still, how does it all work out?
They (inlaws and my Ma) were a little butt-hurt over it initially. MY wife & kids had to talk some sense into them (hard to do to Italian's in their 70's BTW).
"He see's you almost every weekend, all year 'round, you live right around the corner for god's sake" (Stuff like that).
Explains how "loud and crazy they are, while he (I) sit in the other room and don't say anything unless they ask me something".
Took a few years now for them to get used to, but it seems they are now over it and understand.
The craziness isn't for everyone.
Wife told them "its not about you, its how he wants to spend his holidays (in quiet), people can do what they want".
They're getting it.