How do you envision Vince bench pressing me?
Well since you asked -
Vince, ever the hustler has bought an old red Naugahyde bench* off Craigslist for his new home gym. It's a bit narrow, but it will do when Venom Vince wants to move some real iron. He doesn't have a bar or plates yet, but garage sale season is coming up, and he isn't going to miss those deals, Corona be damned. He'll have his bar and plates soon.
You and Rory are making a surprise trip through the Carolinas. Things at Autozone and Sears are slow, but the Trump stimulus has come through, and now's as good as ever for a vacation, and who's better to visit than the king of kielbasa himself. You secretly lament that you might of wanted to head off to Australia instead, but with the travel ban, it's a no go. Besides with all the deaths, Vince B might be busy with strangers funerals anyway. Such is life.
You arrive at Goodrum's crib early in the evening, it's surprisingly nice, the only sign of life is some fireflies circling the light above Vince's door, and the sound of old school rap echoing deep inside. You and Rory sheepishly decide who's going to knock, you decide you better go first. Your hand edges up to knock.
"Well these are the breaks....". The door opens, and you can finally make out it's Kurtis Blow coming out of the stereo, but no time for that, the man is in front of you. He's glistening with sweat in an emerald sweat shirt with the arms cut off and an old pair of track pants. He's a much larger man in person, and for a moment, you're stunned. Vince is stunned himself, how could two handsome boys wind up on his doorstep? When last he looked Amazon Prime didn't deliver those.
"Vince, sir, I'm SF1900, and this is Rory. You know us from Getbig".
"Well, you boys shouldn't be - " Vince starts to say, but you quickly interrupt. "Sorry Vince, we're just coming down from New York, and figured it would be nice to see a familiar face".
"Well" , Vince says with a quick exhale, "You did come a long way, I guess you could sit a spell." He holds the door open, and you and Rory dart in, no way are you going to miss an opportunity like this. "You can sit there" pointing to a fluffy leather sofa, "The TV works, and you can make yourselves some drinks, but I've got to finish this workout." he says as he heads off.
You can see all Vince's awards on the walls - Vince Goodrum, Certified Personal Trainer, one read. Vince Goodrum, Proprietor of Caliber Fitness Solutions, the next. There were so many certificates and letters on the wall, it was enough to drive a boy or girl dizzy. There was even one proclaiming Vince an accomplished ballroom dancer. Your eye stops on a photo on his desk, it's Vissy and Goodrum in happier times. "Cute couple, huh?" Rory interjects, and with that, the moment is over.
You can't help yourself, and sneak over to the room where Vince is training. It's a bit ramshackle, not like the rest of the place. You can see Vince has moved a bunch of office equipment off to a corner, and is doing Swiss ball crunches in the middle of the room. The stereo is playing EPMD's "Strictly Business" now. You walk in, "Nice place, you got here. Too bad we can't get a workout in, the guys at Getbig would get a kick out of that story."
"Yeah", Vince say jumping up off the ball, "All I got are the bands over there, the ball, and that old thing" pointing to the red weight bench. "The Bowflex is still in pieces, and I don't even have a bar or dumbbells right now. Besides how are you guys going to pay anyway?" noticing Rory now in the doorway. "Everyone who lifts at Vince's pays one way or another".
This was slightly worrying, Vince always had the reputation as a homewrecker, perhaps the rumors were true? What would Rory think? "Relax fellas, I'm just joking, I'm almost done anyway" Vince said chuckling. Say what you want about Vince, he was turning out to be a real pussycat. "Oh, but we've got to get something for Getbig" Rory interjects, "How about you do a tug of war with the bands or something?"
"Or maybe you could bench press me like those guys in the 70's at Venice", you chime in. "We can be like Arnold and Franco".
"I guess I could" Vince said, dragging the old red bench to the middle of the room. "But only one rep, this is silly.'
Vince gets on the bench, and calls you over. You take your shirt off, it might mess up his grip, and hop into his hands. His left goes to your belly, and his right to low on your neck, and his thumb rests between your pecs. This last bit makes you both uncomfortable, and you both stifle a giggle.
"1...., 2...., 3...., 4....., "Boy you sure are heavy" Vince exclaims, but I think I can get ten, 6...., 7...." Right on the 8th rep, a bead of sweat runs off your pec, and lingers in the air before splashing down on Vince's face, he drops you, and you both tumble to the ground.
The room erupts in laughter.
Yay! Rory exclaims.
The End.
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