This is Josh. One post and then ban me. I have no interest in being on getbig other than to post this.
I fully understand and expect nobody to believe me when I say I have found something, a higher power, a meaning, what some refer to as God but I just refer to as a better place. Yup, what coach posted genuinely happened to me and since that day, for a reason I cant explain, I have been more at peace, calm and just better with life. I have no desire to ruin lives, be mean to anyone or carry out the behavior I used to. Ive even tried to force my old thoughts and they aren't there. I simply cant explain it, not do I want to. I just kind of hitched on and rode with the feeling and its been good.
One thing that hasn't changed with me is I genuinely dislike most people because for the most part I believe people are awful and have ruined this world. I absolutely love dogs and all animals. I stick to myself, mind my own business and just try to stay out of peoples way. I do have 100 acres which I am building an off grid tiny house on and I have a house in the city because the tiny isn't feasible for full time living. An ironic thing about my life is that I am super happy, mentally in the best spot Ive been in, and all is good, yet I have zero fear of death and look forward to it because Im just not fond of this world. I'll never off myself, but when my day comes its all good.
I did a lot of shitty stuff on getbig but I wont apologize for it. I did it, I cant change it, but all I can do is live life as a better person moving forward. IVe kind of become addicted to being better and really minding my own business. In the end, I deserve to be trashed and banned on this site for my past behavior, and would be shocked at anything less. I know who I am now, and that's the most important thing to me. What others say is a valid opinion they can have, but it wont have any bearing on my life.
take care
pics from my property