Author Topic: CHEESY JOKE THREAD (Read 4278 times)

epic is back · « **Reply #50 on:** December 03, 2020, 04:48:19 PM »

My boss said to me, “You’re the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?”

I said, “I’m not sure; it’s hard to keep track.”

epic is back · « **Reply #51 on:** December 03, 2020, 04:53:34 PM »

Back in 1980, I fell off my bike, twisted my foot, and hurt my knee.

I’m telling you this now because there was no social media in the ‘80s

epic is back · « **Reply #52 on:** December 03, 2020, 04:55:24 PM »

I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.

“Are you still holding the ladder?”

epic is back · « **Reply #53 on:** December 03, 2020, 04:56:28 PM »

What do you do if you’re ever attacked by a gang of clowns?

Go for the juggler.

epic is back · « **Reply #54 on:** December 03, 2020, 04:58:56 PM »

my boss told me to have a good day.

So I went home.

epic is back · « **Reply #55 on:** December 03, 2020, 06:08:31 PM »

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

then told her to mask up

how dare her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could die right on the spot!!!!

funk51 · « **Reply #56 on:** December 04, 2020, 10:37:54 AM »

what do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other ? answer=Eileen. what do you call a Chinese girl with one leg shorter than the other ?answer=Irene.

Rusty Trombone · « **Reply #57 on:** December 04, 2020, 11:42:15 PM »

Quote from: epic is back on December 02, 2020, 04:43:22 PM

A group of experienced glue-sniffers was teaching a newcomer to sniff glue.

But instead of sniffing the glue, the glue sniffer poured it into his mouth, and had to go to the hospital emergency room.

"Hey," reminded one of the glue-sniffers. "Don't expose our glue-sniffing group."

"Don't worry," replied another. "His lips are sealed."

Sunds like one of those 1920s jokes sold at newsstands for 1¢.

epic is back · « **Reply #58 on:** December 05, 2020, 12:00:45 AM »

Sounds like your thirsty for a nice refreshing warm bucket of my piss

Now fuck off out of this thread unless you got a joke to put

All other threads except the joke thread are open to your cuntlip behaviors

BlackMetallic · « **Reply #59 on:** December 05, 2020, 04:06:27 AM »

My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found the problem was hair in its ears. He cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet told the lady if she wanted to keep this from reoccurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub in its ears once a month.
The lady went to the drug store and got some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the druggist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
The lady said, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The druggist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days."
The lady said, "I'm not using it on my legs either and, if you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer."
The druggist replied, "In that case, stay off your bicycle for a week."

funk51 · « **Reply #60 on:** December 06, 2020, 05:25:48 AM »

epic is back · « **Reply #61 on:** December 06, 2020, 09:31:58 AM »

Couldn’t even write it down

On top of that your tds is still full blown

Sad

This is the joke thread

Not unhinged tds thread

I’ll post a joke for you funk

Why is there no Disneyland in China?

No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

funk51 · « **Reply #62 on:** December 06, 2020, 10:27:18 AM »

Quote from: epic is back on December 06, 2020, 09:31:58 AM

Couldn’t even write it down

On top of that your tds is still full blown

Sad

This is the joke thread

Not unhinged tds thread

I’ll post a joke for you funk

Why is there no Disneyland in China?

No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

why write it down to pretend I thought it up on my own. here's another for you.

funk51 · « **Reply #63 on:** December 06, 2020, 10:59:01 AM »

I have to confess, I tried COKE once but it didn't do anything for me, couldn't get the bottle in my nose.

epic is back · « **Reply #64 on:** December 06, 2020, 02:44:10 PM »

There you go bro

See you can do it !!

600 miles of wall built 100 to go at 10 miles a week

Before the google monsters try and prove me wrong

430 is fully complete 230 is “ under construction” and will be finished as the money changed hands

So if you can’t do basic math don’t bother posting the oh so accurate “google “ or bing info

It’s going to be completed soon and it doesn’t matter who is in office

Your one special fella funk , don’t you get tired of being wrong ?

So as cowboy walks into as bar and orders a drink

Bartender says “what will it be”

Cowboy says “everything you are , ever was , or will be “

Bartender says “here I don’t want it anyway “ and hands him his wedding ring

epic is back · « **Reply #65 on:** December 07, 2020, 07:32:33 AM »

melvin goodgums walks into a snap welfare office

he says

"I can show all of you how to eat for 30 bucks a month and you wont need whitey anymore" and proceeds to show his grocery list proposal

The crowd of 300 pounders with blond wigs , looks back at Melvin and says

"Where's my ho- hos where's my cool aide, where's my flap jacks?? where's my chitlins" pigs feet? Where's my lotto tickets, where's my lee press on nails? where's the glue for my wigs? where's the cereal for little Jamal and his brother LaShawn, and his sister shaniqua, and her sister shanae -nae where's my coupons to get my massages and, my beer and liquor?" and who gonna pay for all dat?"

Melvin says "nevermind" hops in his 2003 jaguar and goes back to his luxury trailer in the hills

AbrahamG · « **Reply #66 on:** December 08, 2020, 10:31:31 PM »

Quote from: epic is back on December 07, 2020, 07:32:33 AM

melvin goodgums walks into a snap welfare office

he says

"I can show all of you how to eat for 30 bucks a month and you wont need whitey anymore" and proceeds to show his grocery list proposal

The crowd of 300 pounders with blond wigs , looks back at Melvin and says

"Where's my ho- hos where's my cool aide, where's my flap jacks?? where's my chitlins" pigs feet? Where's my lotto tickets, where's my lee press on nails? where's the glue for my wigs? where's the cereal for little Jamal and his brother LaShawn, and his sister shaniqua, and her sister shanae -nae where's my coupons to get my massages and, my beer and liquor?" and who gonna pay for all dat?"

Melvin says "nevermind" hops in his 2003 jaguar and goes back to his luxury trailer in the hills

LMFAO. You left out menthol cigarettes.

AbrahamG · « **Reply #67 on:** December 08, 2020, 10:32:40 PM »

Did you hear about the guy with 5 penises?

His pants fit like a glove.

wes · « **Reply #68 on:** December 09, 2020, 12:51:40 AM »

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef !!

What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?

Full

BlackMetallic · « **Reply #69 on:** December 09, 2020, 04:07:27 AM »

What do u get when u turn a blond upside down?

A brunette with bad breath

BlackMetallic · « **Reply #70 on:** December 09, 2020, 04:08:32 AM »

What does a woman do to her asshole every morning?

Kisses him goodbye n sends him off to work

BlackMetallic · « **Reply #71 on:** December 10, 2020, 02:01:50 AM »

A salesman is goin from house to house n knocks on a door

A little boy answers

The salesman says is ur mommy n daddy home?

Little boys says holds on

He comes back n says they is here but they is left

The salesman replies my word young man what happened to ur grammar?

The little boy replies, she’s in the kitchen baking cookies