Lol. I think you have some things mixed up.
My German wife cheated back in 04. I stayed with her, then I cheated with whores in 2010 and left her in 2011.
Met my Hebrew wife in 2014. Got married in 2020 and had a baby this year. She never cheated and I never cheated. So we're all good.
I should have never stayed with the German after she cheated but I was determined to make it work. 
I was young and dumb (26) . I'm 44 now.
My friend who this thread is about was cheating with Craigslist whores unbeknownst to me before he was married and even the week he got married. She found out about it and the rest is history.
I apologize; I misunderstood and thought the second marriage also ended.
It sounds like you learned a lot from the first marriage and even though it was a painful situation you became a better man for it. I think when we are young we tend to be overly idealistic and optimistic and think we can over come anything. Relationships are a 2 way street and if both people aren’tgoing in the same direction you could be “perfect” and it won’t work.
In my 20s I had an older friend talking about his spouse and he said if she cheated on him, he would be upset but he would move on. This couple had been together for over 20 years and that attitude blew my mind. I asked if he would try to get counseling to make it work and he said, “for what? If that happened we needed counseling before she cheated not after.”
He then said something that at the time was profound, “if someone wants to cheat they will. I can be a good husband or bad; but ultimately it’s what they want to do and I can’t stop it.” I think there is a lot of truth in this, people do what they want; remain faithful or cheat, it’s literally an individual decision.
When lobster posted here she said something along the lines of she couldn’t respect a guy who cried for her to come back because she knew how imperfect she was. Once a partner loses respect for the other the relationship is headed for destruction.
Going back to your friend he should have never gotten married to this woman. Once she found out he was cheating he was doomed. There are a few “exceptional”, or emotionally dead, women who can move forward after something like this but many simply can’t. They resent the man and want him to suffer and pay for the misdeeds. If he doesn’t stand up for himself, he will be trampled…..
This sounds like what you friend is going through. He’s spent the last number of years realizing he mistreated his future wife so he grovels for forgiveness which is probably not happening. He loses his spousal identity and is made subject to his wife’s whims. It sounds like the dude is to far gone to come back, unless she leaves him. But that is a whole other issue….
