Fitness Frenzy, could you update the master list when there's new submissions from everyone? This is a monster undertaking.
1989: Becomes a humanitarian. Fights tirelessly to campaign for child rights after being made to work at Vail Ski Resort without being adequately compensated. Is formally invited to address the United Nations General Assembly after they adopt the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
While there, in a shocking display of learned behavior, Brian follows in his father’s footsteps and shoves his nose up his secretary’s fanny and takes a huge whiff. In this instance, the secretary happens to be Audrey Hepburn and Brian accomplishes the one and only cool thing he will ever do.
1990: Becomes an absolute steely-eyed killer. Starts manhandling heavyweight wrestlers on the mat and slamming kids on their heads in competitions. Also blitzes the cross-country records at school and becomes a national-level runner. Hasn't yet realized that he can't outrun his homosexual tendencies and cowardly nature.
