This is an honest question and a serious one when it comes to women….

[BigRo]

I've heard a number of women say they love to argue and fight with their spouse and some even say it's healthy and necessary. In very heated arguments it's easy to say things you can't take back, maybe they can be forgiven but it's not forgotten if it's hurtful enough. I haven't had many serious relationships but I seem to give off a vibe that I won't fight so they don't happen even if it's a woman who is the fighting type. This might not be all positive, if things are never aired out, I don't know... The crazy arguments and fights I've seen others have with their partners are something I would never engage in, especially repeatedly over many years like many do. Often both parties see them as normal in a way. I'm witnessing one in my family now, high chance it will end in tragedy one day with someone dead, both might kill the other. I could never live that way.

Everything ends one day

"Love is kind of like when you see a fog in the morning, when you wake up before the sun comes out. It's just a little while, and then it burns away… Love is a fog that burns with the first daylight of reality"

"Love Is a Dog from Hell"

"Human relationships were strange. I mean, you were with one person a while, eating and sleeping and living with them, loving them, talking to them, going places together, and then it stopped."

“god, love is more strange than numerals more strange than grass on fire more strange than the dead body of a child drowned in the bottom of a tub, we know so little, we know so much, we don’t know enough.”

- Bukowski

But inside do you want to "fight" if a woman is starting saying ugly things? If a man don't fight back calmy the woman feels she is the one with the power who has the right to speak out whereas the man is expected then just to keep quite to prove his "manliness".

[Van_Bilderass]

There is a forum full of Bukowski maniacs are you there?

A few years ago one of them went and found the unmarked grave of his great love, Jane Cooney Baker... crazy

No I haven't looked at the forums. It's hip to like Bukowski but I try to keep away from other fans because I will probably not like them LOL. Of course some feel they are too sophisticated to like the brutish and perhaps undisciplined Bukowski... snobs. Don't care what anyone else thinks, he's brightened my days and nights many times He's recommended other poets and writers with different styles which I've loved s well. Robinson Jeffers and Ezra Pound for poetry, some Russians for novels, John Fante and so on.

Haha, the phrase "Don't Try" that I've had under my username here for the longest time is from Bukowski's grave stone and it was a theme in his writing.

[Van_Bilderass]

But inside do you want to "fight" if a woman is starting saying ugly things? If a man don't fight back calmy the woman feels she is the one with the power who has the right to speak out whereas the man is expected then just to keep quite to prove his "manliness".

I know exactly what you mean but my experience has been that women don't start fighting with me in the first place, somehow they intuit that I won't tolerate any shouting matches and such. It's probably a fault since other problems result when you "can't" fight and air grievances. It's genetic I believe as my mother is the same; withdrawing instead of fighting. If a friend loses his cool and starts berating me I then think "ok, then there's no reason for us to be friends" and the friendship ends right there.