This is an honest question and a serious one when it comes to women….

[BigRo]

I've heard a number of women say they love to argue and fight with their spouse and some even say it's healthy and necessary. In very heated arguments it's easy to say things you can't take back, maybe they can be forgiven but it's not forgotten if it's hurtful enough. I haven't had many serious relationships but I seem to give off a vibe that I won't fight so they don't happen even if it's a woman who is the fighting type. This might not be all positive, if things are never aired out, I don't know... The crazy arguments and fights I've seen others have with their partners are something I would never engage in, especially repeatedly over many years like many do. Often both parties see them as normal in a way. I'm witnessing one in my family now, high chance it will end in tragedy one day with someone dead, both might kill the other. I could never live that way.

Everything ends one day

"Love is kind of like when you see a fog in the morning, when you wake up before the sun comes out. It's just a little while, and then it burns away… Love is a fog that burns with the first daylight of reality"

"Love Is a Dog from Hell"

"Human relationships were strange. I mean, you were with one person a while, eating and sleeping and living with them, loving them, talking to them, going places together, and then it stopped."

“god, love is more strange than numerals more strange than grass on fire more strange than the dead body of a child drowned in the bottom of a tub, we know so little, we know so much, we don’t know enough.”

- Bukowski

But inside do you want to "fight" if a woman is starting saying ugly things? If a man don't fight back calmy the woman feels she is the one with the power who has the right to speak out whereas the man is expected then just to keep quite to prove his "manliness".

[Van_Bilderass]

There is a forum full of Bukowski maniacs are you there?

A few years ago one of them went and found the unmarked grave of his great love, Jane Cooney Baker... crazy

No I haven't looked at the forums. It's hip to like Bukowski but I try to keep away from other fans because I will probably not like them LOL. Of course some feel they are too sophisticated to like the brutish and perhaps undisciplined Bukowski... snobs. Don't care what anyone else thinks, he's brightened my days and nights many times He's recommended other poets and writers with different styles which I've loved s well. Robinson Jeffers and Ezra Pound for poetry, some Russians for novels, John Fante and so on.

Haha, the phrase "Don't Try" that I've had under my username here for the longest time is from Bukowski's grave stone and it was a theme in his writing.

[Van_Bilderass]

But inside do you want to "fight" if a woman is starting saying ugly things? If a man don't fight back calmy the woman feels she is the one with the power who has the right to speak out whereas the man is expected then just to keep quite to prove his "manliness".

I know exactly what you mean but my experience has been that women don't start fighting with me in the first place, somehow they intuit that I won't tolerate any shouting matches and such. It's probably a fault since other problems result when you "can't" fight and air grievances. It's genetic I believe as my mother is the same; withdrawing instead of fighting. If a friend loses his cool and starts berating me I then think "ok, then there's no reason for us to be friends" and the friendship ends right there.

[Donny]

But inside do you want to "fight" if a woman is starting saying ugly things? If a man don't fight back calmy the woman feels she is the one with the power who has the right to speak out whereas the man is expected then just to keep quite to prove his "manliness".

If a woman gets away with it at home then in most cases she'll belittle the man infront of others outside including friends..

[BigRo]

I know exactly what you mean but my experience has been that women don't start fighting with me in the first place, somehow they intuit that I won't tolerate any shouting matches and such. It's probably a fault since other problems result when you "can't" fight and air grievances. It's genetic I believe as my mother is the same; withdrawing instead of fighting. If a friend loses his cool and starts berating me I then think "ok, then there's no reason for us to be friends" and the friendship ends right there.

Do you see yourself as a happy bachelor moving forward or are you open to another relationship?

[Phantom Spunker]

Do you see yourself as a happy bachelor moving forward or are you open to another relationship?

It's nice of you to offer, Ro, but Van is straight. Are there any Irish girls you could set him up with instead?

[BigRo]

It's nice of you to offer, Ro, but Van is straight. Are there any Irish girls you could set him up with instead?

No Homo.

[Van_Bilderass]

Do you see yourself as a happy bachelor moving forward or are you open to another relationship?

I'm not happy at all as a bachelor LOL. I've been out of the market so to speak due to constant health challenges the past few years but I have to try at least soon. Maybe a feisty bitch who fights a lot for once would perk me up; I've never screamed at a woman but everyone has their breaking point. I have imagined starting a physical relationship with a militant leftist and then all of a sudden unveiling the radical right opinions

[BigRo]

I'm not happy at all as a bachelor LOL. I've been out of the market so to speak due to constant health challenges the past few years but I have to try at least soon. Maybe a feisty bitch who fights a lot for once would perk me up; I've never screamed at a woman but everyone has their breaking point. I have imagined starting a physical relationship with a militant leftist and then all of a sudden unveiling the radical right opinions

balls deep in to enemy territory.

[nobody in particular]

just for shits n giggles, Im a fan of bukowski, I haven't read everything he's ever written but read 'women' and thought it was ok. Read it before I had seen or heard of barfly too. Later on started reading other stuff.

Much like meeting your idols I don't get into the hero worship thing. I like Nietzsche too but I don't agree with everything he's written nor would I want to agree with it all. I've learned just as much from those I disagree with if not more. it's good to be challenged, frequently.

[pamith]

A more serious question, are women a POS?

[GymnJuice]

I'm not happy at all as a bachelor LOL. I've been out of the market so to speak due to constant health challenges the past few years but I have to try at least soon. Maybe a feisty bitch who fights a lot for once would perk me up; I've never screamed at a woman but everyone has their breaking point. I have imagined starting a physical relationship with a militant leftist and then all of a sudden unveiling the radical right opinions

Don't do it.

[Van_Bilderass]

just for shits n giggles, Im a fan of bukowski, I haven't read everything he's ever written but read 'women' and thought it was ok. Read it before I had seen or heard of barfly too. Later on started reading other stuff.

Much like meeting your idols I don't get into the hero worship thing. I like Nietzsche too but I don't agree with everything he's written nor would I want to agree with it all. I've learned just as much from those I disagree with if not more. it's good to be challenged, frequently.

¨
I think you're right about the challenging part. So I at least watch some leftists on YT etc.

"Never meet your idols" is the common saying so you don't get disappointed, and I think Bukowski said the same a few times as he had met a few of his, I think he had good encounters too; I think he met his idol John Fante in the hospital as Fante was dying. I don't necessarily want to meet other Buk fans and I'm always wary of even sharing what I think are gold nuggets in literature or even music with others, afraid of throwing pearls before swine. Buk recommended some other great writers though. A number of years ago I had basically all of his books including poetry and several posthumous poetry collections, letter correspondence and so on. His writing is beautiful

Regarding Nietzsche, philosophy is so dense that it takes quite a bit of chewing to 'get' at least some points for someone like myself or really anyone, often need to have read other philosophers to know what he is referring to. Sometimes you have to read between the lines. And so on. Now with the internet I could easily get the interpretations and "for dummies" points first but regarding Nietzsche specifically someone on the net 25 years ago warned me not to read the commentaries by others before I'd had my first exposure and my first own interpretation of Nietzsche's own writings. He had a degree in philosophy

This IG philosopher makes some interesting points wrt having read 'lots of books' and the value of just inhaling lots of material. I suspect he's right.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DOOsVv9Eb_s/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=bWdxYXplOHY4MjRl

[Grape Ape]

A more serious question, are women a POS?

Try not chaining them to your radiator for once and they may act differently.

[Van_Bilderass]

balls deep in to enemy territory.

Only way

Don't do it.

Yeah it's unlikely to happen but maybe you should challenge yourself on occasion to widen your horizon... it all ends in tears anyway

Bukowski showcasing his drunken behavior wrt women. He was nasty but he was also sensitive I think. "I'll get a Jewish attorney... your ass is going to feel skinned... I'm turning you over to the next guy... you fucking whore." 

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