exactly
that 190 pounds or so of natural muscle you built Matt will vanish when you quit training and dieting natural or not
why are you such a hater all of a sudden?
You'll respond saying you're not hating just speaking the truth
There is some truth to it yeah but you're becoming true adonis junior
i don't think you are quite as secure as you like to think 
E
... never thought I'd agree with The Earl, but, the guy is spot on here
Mathew old chum, I do have to ask what is occuring in that mind of yours? Why have you adopted an anti steroid position all of a sudden? why - after previously intimating that you yourself were about to begin a gear cycle (asking - so many times - about gear cycles, safety aspects etc) - why have you now fucked off to the complete other side of the fence?
I think you are projecting somewhat. Is it because you [perhaps] have seen yourself not having the fortitude to follow through with your desired aim of hopping on the juice train? thus rendering a situation wherein you [rather than simply admit its not for you] have decided to go full pelt and attack any and all gear users in an effort to quash any sense of inability on your part?
I believe the answer lies in the fact that you, far from you believing gear is not for you, have infact not been able to reconcile your desire to hit the juice with your [thsufar] inability to follow through on such a plan
To wit:
Matt, stop fucking around! Get yourself hooked up with some quality tackle (at least two cycles worth, shit, come to Europe for an extended holiday if you require) get yourself stocked up with some good food, commit to training for the next six months and GET THE FUCKING JOB DONE!!!
You remind me of when I was in the 'grey area' just before hitting the gear for the first time
My friend, dont shit out, just go for a nice simple Test cycle, say 500mg for 6 weeks, enjoy the improved training, enjoy the increased feeling of well being, and enjoy drenching your girl and her friends more often than you [perhaps] currently are
Seriously, you are a good lad, but all of this bollocks is seriously compromising your image
Dont be a cunt, just fucking do it