I had on the ground 315 lbs....
Some dude saw me put the wieght on the bar, he went up to me and said that he cant deadlift that much and wanted to see my technique. I told him that it aint going to happen, he looked at me and asked why ? I proceeded to jack the wieght up and pound out 12 reps of bent over rows. He said WOW.... I replied, "Its good to get a couple of warmup sets out the way before you go heavy"
How can I tell these tiny twats to go to daycare where thier parents can find them?
Discuss
Way to go, Bro! You sure showed that little twunt! I also had a good day at the gym today...
As I walked inside the gym this afternoon, I saw this little fella and his girl standing by a barbell on the floor that coincidentally also happened to be loaded with (you guessed it) 315 pounds. They were debating wether or not he should try to max the weight. I heard him tell her that the previous sets with 225 and 275 were pretty heavy themselves.
When they saw that the Vanilla Mountain of Muscle that is me was in the house, they decided to ask for my expert opinion.
"Excuse me, Sir. I was wondering if you think it might be safe for me to try to set a new personal record by trying to deadlift this heavy weight?" the little guy asked.
I proceded to do "The Walk" over to the deadlift platform in superslow motion, my enormous quads rubbing together beneath my zebra-striped Zubaz pants, as I flexed my pecs rhythmically to the techno music. My monstrous lats hung out of my Gold's gym string tank like two giant sides of beef hanging in a butcher's walk-in freezer.
As I approached the platform, the tiny tit attempted to say something. I cut him off with a wave of my giant arm, adjusted my doo rag, bent over, and grabbed the weight with an underhanded grip. To their amazement, I stood up and began to curl the weight! As I banged out the reps, the other people in the gym stopped in their tracks and took notice of my incredible strength feat. Before I knew it, a crowd had formed around me, cheering me on as I continued.
"Eight!... Nine!... Ten!" they all counted in unison.
At their urging, I managed to get 11, then 12... I paused briefly, then managed to bang out three more brutal reps. I then let out a loud roar of victory and dropped the weight. As the 315 pound barbell crashed to the floor, the crowd erupted into frenzied applause. As I raised my arm in victory and nodded my head up and down, I boomed out "Oh hell yes! Yes! Who's The Man up in here?"
"You Da Man!" they all roared in unison as I hit a vicious double bicep pose.
I looked at the little guy and said "Kid, THAT'S what you call bodybuilding!"
To complete today's lesson, I suddenly delivered a devastating roundhouse kick to the kid's ugly mug, sending him flying ten feet, over a weight tree, and into one of the gym's mirrored walls, causing the mirror to shatter into many tiny pieces. I added insult to injury by ripping off my string tank and hitting a quick series of poses for the cheering crowd. But I wasn't finished yet...
I had noticed the little guy's girl eyeballing me, practically drooling and panting at my machismo and animal magnetism. So I grabbed the little lady and pushed through the crowd. I hiked up her skimpy little skirt, dropped my Zubaz pants down to my ankles, and introduced her to a new use for the hyperextension bench right their in the middle of the gym.
Just another day at the gym, Bro!
