passion

[Butterbean]

Thanks Mike, mind if I take a peak at Cheri's T&A and see if im inspired? 

I'm assuming you are joking here.  But it leads me to ask if you look at girlie mags or even admire other women - and if so, is your wife aware of either?

Have you and D talked about the lack of passion?  And what she would like you to do to inspire some?   I've heard that for some women, foreplay begins as soon as the man helps her with household chores.  I'm assuming that would be true with me, but I don't think I'll ever find out.

[Always Sore]

Yo, thats a big part of it, we just dont have a huge attraction to one another anymore. I think im way more physical as far as touching her or rubbing her shoulders and holding her hand.  We went through some rough shit a few years ago when she was in a deep depression ( we found out it was caused by her birth control, only took 5 doctors to figure that out),  and she was on a bunch of meds and really didn't want to do anything let alone get crazy with me and that went on for almost 3 years. So I guess I hold that over her even though I dont think I do, it must be in the back of my mind.
 My job has me on the road a lot and she gets mad at me over it.  I try and do things like a clean up the house or do some laundry for her if I'm working out of the house and I try to make sure I have decent clothes on and I'm showered and looking/smelling nice when she comes home( She does the same for me when I'm on my way home). Nothing seems to wow her. She wanted a new car I got her one and she was like "great  a new car" she wanted some jewelery when I got it for her she was like " wow thanks it great". She is just really even tempered and nothing seems to get much of a reaction from her. I think maybe its just me, maybe I just dont want to be married anymore?

Have you thought its not what you do for her its how you "hear" her? Many times in situations where people cheat it goes beyond the physical part of something new and its someone reaching to be heard and have someone show a intrest in what they are saying and feeling. I know many people start to let the physical part slip and then touching only becomes forplay for having sex and people start to think "oh he's being nice" because he wants sex. I could be way off here but thats my thoughts.

[Always Sore]

Wow Mike, your bride has the cutest smile and elf ears hug her once today from all of us...

[Playboy]

Wow Mike, your bride has the cutest smile and elf ears hug her once today from all of us...

She is indeed very beautiful.

PB

[Oldschool Flip]

Those things usually are about the sex. You could try doing it every day... it's one of the best ways of being close with someone.  Also, doing it completely differentlly and everywhere... like tearing her clothes off the second she comes home from work, or when she's getting something out of the fridge... or in the car, etc... conversely sometimes a vacation apart helps too, especially if you're always together and never get a chance to miss each other.

Migs is going to wet himself when he reads this!

[Oldschool Flip]

Yo, thats a big part of it, we just dont have a huge attraction to one another anymore. I think im way more physical as far as touching her or rubbing her shoulders and holding her hand.  We went through some rough shit a few years ago when she was in a deep depression ( we found out it was caused by her birth control, only took 5 doctors to figure that out),  and she was on a bunch of meds and really didn't want to do anything let alone get crazy with me and that went on for almost 3 years. So I guess I hold that over her even though I dont think I do, it must be in the back of my mind.
 My job has me on the road a lot and she gets mad at me over it.  I try and do things like a clean up the house or do some laundry for her if I'm working out of the house and I try to make sure I have decent clothes on and I'm showered and looking/smelling nice when she comes home( She does the same for me when I'm on my way home). Nothing seems to wow her. She wanted a new car I got her one and she was like "great  a new car" she wanted some jewelery when I got it for her she was like " wow thanks it great". She is just really even tempered and nothing seems to get much of a reaction from her. I think maybe its just me, maybe I just dont want to be married anymore?

Bro, there might be the problem too. I was working 14 hr days, 6 days a week and started noticing that there was nothing I could do to keep her happy. I finally quit and got a lower paying job, with less hours of course, and the resentment she felt went away. Since leaving that job, our relationship has become more an interest in each others daily activities. Although currently now, I stay home to take care of our 2 year old daughter, I still take the time to have fun with her too. Lol, one of the 1st things that got us more involved with each other was when we started taking Ballroom Dancing. Did it for 1 year, till we moved away from the studio, but we would spontaneously hum a song and just dance around the house and laugh every so often! Keep searching bro and don't give up. Eventually you might find out what the deal.

[Lord Humungous]

Hey every one thanks for the insite! I will take some bits and pieces from everyone and see what happens when I read the book STella sent( ya STella I look at other chic sometimes, yes she knows, she encourages me to be honest).

Thanks gang!

[michael arvilla]

Wow Mike, your bride has the cutest smile and elf ears hug her once today from all of us...

always sore
playboy................. ...thank you ,she is indeed beautiful inside and out
im a lucky old musclehead and i love her deeply!

[Lord Humungous]

always sore
playboy................. ...thank you ,she is indeed beautiful inside and out
im a lucky old musclehead and i love her deeply!

Maybe you missed that bride thing Mike 

[Laura Lee]

Wow Mike, your bride has the cutest smile and elf ears hug her once today from all of us...

I have elf ears?

[CQ]

I have elf ears?

I don't think so. Elf ears to me are kind of pointy or irregular shaped.

I am sorry Cheri, but I believe you actually do *not* have elf ears.

[Deedee]

I think he meant elfin-like... you know, as in impish, pixie, cute...

[Laura Lee]

I think he meant elfin-like... you know, as in impish, pixie, cute...

ohhhhh.  Kewl!   

[Always Sore]

I think he meant elfin-like... you know, as in impish, pixie, cute...

you always get me...

[Migs]

butt love.  Nothinig mre passionate than a women trying to get revenge after that!  Sorry that's the tequila talkiong

[mish]

So... did you eat the worm? 

[Migs]

the tequila there and food was soooo good.  But back on the topic.  It's sad to see passion fade.  It's funny to hear that a couple is going to go to some exotic place to find passion.  If you didn't have passion before you left, i'm not sure you will find it while you are at some place

[24KT]

Excellent point Miggy.

[Migs]

thnak you

[ToxicAvenger]

i totally believe this preface..

esp the last 2 lines..

lets not demean passion by appempting to put it in words

http://www.literaturepage.com/read/doriangray-1.html

[Mydavid]

Lord H, I think it's wonderful that you ask this and I want you to know that having been married for years there may be times where there are "lulls" but they do not last if you don't let them!

My first and foremost advice is that you buy and read "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.

That book was a huge part of SAVING my marriage after the horrible first 2 years.  Both you and "D"    should read it and APPLY it to your lives.

I will send you a copy if you like.  I buy them 10 at a time and give them away.  I cannot stress how great this book is.  Your address would be kept completely confidential or I could send it to your work or a PO Box or something.

If you've already read it, you both should read it again and APPLY it to your lives.


More later....

Is that book just at a local bookstore or do you have to order it online?

Lisa